(Closed) When are you too old to go in on your parent’s gift?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When are you too old to go in on your parent's gift?
    At 18 - You're legally an adult : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Graduate College : (29 votes)
    38 %
    Get Married : (21 votes)
    27 %
    Have Children : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Other - Explain : (22 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2111 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it depends on the situation. I’m married now but sometimes if my parents give a gift to someone like my grandparents, they still sign the card with my name on it. I’m fine with it. But for someone between 35 and 45… I think its time to buy your own gift for a wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5670 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I had a couple of families do this but I think they all put money into the gift or card so I didn’t find it odd. For example if there were 2 parents and 3 grown children and I probably received $500 (100 from each). I guess to each their own.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    That happened to me too with two sets of cousins 🙂 I personally think every ‘group’ who got their own invitation should send an individual gift. Like husband/wife, single&date, or if you addressed it to a 4 person family, then from all 4 of them.

    I had one group of 3 adult cousins, all older than me and all single but brought dates all go in on one small gift worth under $100. Then my 3 younger but adult cousins all went in on a $10 ceramic ring holder.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    That seems a bit odd to me.  I can understand if the “child” in question is 20 years old and in college, but once they are an independent adult (established own household, no longer a dependent on parent’s taxes), then I think it’s time.

    Post # 7
    Member
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Depends what the gift is.  I do not think it is odd if two friends were to go in on an expensive gift.  I also would not think it odd if family members went in on an expensive gift.  It may be a bit unusual if the gift was the pricerange that one person would normally bring.  But, to me, I was more concerned about people celebrating with me than receiving presents so I let these things pass.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4693 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think it makes a difference whether the child makes a contribution to the gift or not.  I’m 21, live on my own, have a stable job, etc. and I went in on a gift with my mom for a gift for my cousin’s bridal shower.  We wanted to get her something that was out of either of our price ranges individually, so we went halves and bought it together.  I don’t think that’s wrong, but I would think it’s strange just to sign my name on a card for a gift that someone else bought.

    Post # 9
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I definitely think they are way beyond the point of that they should have given you seperate gift! They are clearly adults and were invited seperate from thier parents therefore should have given seperate gifts.  My brother and I have done this for family wedding for years (and we are in our 20s).

    Post # 10
    Member
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @MissBoPeep:  Agreed.  I don’t think that is any different than if two of your aunts decided to go together on a gift.   But I think that once you have your own household, you are too old for Mommy to sign your name to a card/gift that you had no part in purchasing.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1222 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I think it’s beyond the point after you are gainfully employed. Whether that’s at 17 or 24 & beyond, it’s your responsibilty now. On the other hand, my aunt & her ex husband went in on an expensive (over $500) gift together, I find that acceptable.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2288 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    My siblings and I actually started going in on gifts when we got older, mostly because they became more elaborate and expensive. I used to contribute to wedding gifts if I didn’t know the person too well or if it was very expensive, but my parents would ask me if I was interested in doing so or if I wanted to give on my own. Regardless, no one ever signed my name for me.

    Post # 14
    Member
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I agree with some and it depends on the gift, I would not be offened if it was say a kitchenaide mixer because that is a big present on your own but if it was say a cookbook then it seems like they are just being lazy.

    Post # 15
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    For me personally it is when you move out!

    Different household, different invitation, different GIFT!

    (Unless of course they chipped in to get a larger gift!)

    Post # 16
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I still sometimes went in with my parents on gifts while I was in college if it was a gift for a family member or family friend. I usually didn’t get my own separate invite while I was in college either, so I figured this was fair. For my own friends of course I gave my own gift.

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