Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center
What do you do when a couple of your bridesmaids (read: almost half) don’t feel like your color choice will complement their skin tones? Some of my bridesmaids have brown skin, and feel that my choice of light peach, blush or light coral won’t look good on darker skin tones (their skin tones are darker than mine). While I want them to feel comfortable (especially because they are the ones who would be spending $150 on this), I don’t want to compromise all of my decor, groomsmen outfits, invitations, flowers, and the whole shebang just because of 1 aspect (bridesmaids outfits). Has anyone been in this situation? I can’t say they’re being petty or anything, but since it’s a racial/ethnic situation, I’m not sure what to do. They prefer bolder, brighter, more pop-ier colors, like watermelon, bright pink, or a darker coral. I didn’t think bridesmaids outfits would eat up so much of my time/energy, but it’s turning out to be a bigger deal than I expected (I suspect some of this is also due to the fact that a lot of them have never been in a wedding party before, and didn’t know it was common to pay for their own dresses. Hence they want to buy something in a color they like and would wear again).
Post # 2
How are they expressing their discontent? I just never understood this, as it’s one day and one dress. I would never tell one of my best friends/sisters/whomever the bride may be that the bridesmaid dress color didn’t work for my complexion therefore they need to choose something else- and we all have colors that don’t work for us regardless of our heritage, nationality, ethnicity, and race. Yes, they should be comfortable in the dress- re: neckline, being able to wear the unergarments needed for their body type, length of hemline. However, please do not change your plans due to your preference of paler pinks not being their most personal flattering shade. Not to be rude, but it’s not their day nor will they be the focal point.
Post # 3
I personally think darker skin tones look beautiful in everything. I just hate this. As a bridesmaid this is literally your only job. Just wear the damn dress and show up. And it doesn’t matter what color it is, they most likely will never wear the dress again. I had a pink dress color and apparently a lot of my bridesmaid were complaining that the dresses looked like peptol bismal bottles. lol. Too bad. I didn’t care. It was my wedding day. They can make me wear whatever hideaous color they pick when its their wedding day.
Post # 4
I dont think you should have to change your color scheme for their preferences. Ive seen many dark skinned women who look fantastic in blush and light coral and I suspect this is more of a ‘I prefer this color’ to ‘this makes me look hideous’. That said if you were looking to compromise with them you could always try doing two colors for your bridesmaids (e.g the half that havent complained in the light coral and the other half in dark coral) to still fit the color scheme but also make them more comfortable.
Post # 5
what do they plan on wearing for their weddings? Hot pink? No they will wear pale colors like white or blush and will look fine. They make no sense. No one likes being told what to wear or fork over $150 on a dress they plan to trash after the wedding. Sorry being harsh but honest. Why don’t you buy their gowns for them then they can’t complain.
Post # 6
You don’t need to go to the extreme like hot pink, but I would find a color that works for them. There are so many choices, surely one will work.
I wouldn’t want my bridesmaids to be uncomfortable in an unflattering color. I hate unflattering lipstick enough and that’s on my lips.
Post # 7
my sister had us wear the most hideous bm dresses in the world. i wore it… for the ceremony and pictures.
for reception i changed into something i was more comfortable in. perhaps you can offer them that solution.
Post # 8
That’s ridiculous. Tell them to suck it up or get out!
Post # 9
There was an exact thread about this like a month ago – one of the bride (south asian) ‘s cousin (also south asian) felt uncomfortable in a lighter blue and kept trying to push for a darker blue. I think pretty much everyone told her to stick to her guns wtih the lighter colours (she was also buying the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress). If you are giving them a choice of colour/doing a mix matched look, I’d send them the options and say these are the colours, you can pick whichever one you like of them, but ONLY these.
Post # 10
If you’re expecting them to shell out $150 on a dress, you should allow that they will want to look good in it. The obvious solution is for you to pay for their dresses. In that manner, you can dictate pretty much anything about the dress that you would like.
Post # 11
Usually darker skin colors do well with amost any color. I do note one color that can be dificult is pale peach with some skin colors but not darker.
You need to decide a few thinks. The value of their friendship even if you are in the right. How flexible are you with colors.
You can then decide do you offer to pay for all or part of the dresses as a compromise. Can you compromise the color ie do an ombre effect with the two ladies who want the darker color or bolder drawinging straws who gets the boldest and then the second boldest.
I think bridesmaids and brides should concede a bridesmaid dress is just that. Unless they have worn the dress before ie an LBD (little black dress) it has huge limits to be worn again. I think you really need to prioritize what is most important to you and what you can live with. Mind you ditto for the bridesmaids. FYI probably the best color for ANY color skin is cobalt/electric/royal blue fair to dark you ook gorgeous.
Post # 12
Honestly, I would see if their concerns are valid and I would want them to be comfortable. I can tell you right now that anything hinting towards peach or orange or coral or pastel anything makes me look I caught the plague. I have photographic proof of it and several family photos where my mother insisted I wear it to color-coordinate with the outfits of others and I look like a hot mess in the photos. This isn’t being my harshest critic – it has been commented on by nearly every one who has seen the photos. To this day I refuse to wear anything in that color family. An accessory maybe, but never clothing. There is something to be said for considering what flatters the individuals wearing these dresses and colors and finding something that is flattering and goes with everything for the dresses and using your color scheme for flowers and decor instead. Just because you have a color scheme doesn’t mean everything has to be those colors.
Post # 13
In the US it is common for the bride to pick out whatever dress in whatever color and the bridesmaids pay for it. I know it is different in other countries but it is the norm here. A big part of being a bridesmaid is sucking it up and wearing whatever dress the bride prefers (within reason, of course), even if it means we don’t look our best or if’s not a color we like or prefer. If you don’t like being told to wear a certain color don’t be in a wedding IMO. I don’t think much should be required of BMs but you should at least buy & wear the dress with no issues. That’s it. It is one day! I would be firm about the colors and explain those colors fit in with your decor/theme and brighter colors do not.
Post # 14
find something that complements your vision but that makes them feel beautiful. These girls are your friends, not props. I would rather have photos of happy friends who felt beautiful at my wedding than perfectly coordinated with the table linens.
Post # 15
….am I the only one who doesn’t want to make my friends pay hundreds of dollars to wear something they hate?
I would hope that your friendship with them superceeds a “vision”.