Post # 16
Personally, it would be a rarity that I spend over $100 on one single item of clothing and if I had to do it, wedding or not, I would at least like to look good in it so that I could potentially wear it again.
If your color scheme is really important for you, offering to pay a portion of the dresses would be a great gesture.
Post # 17
I was in a similar situation and personally I would change it.
I originally wanted a pink and orange color scheme for my bridesmaids. I made a facebook group and showed the girls the pictures of color combos. I got crickets. I kept on playing with colors, eventually adding one purple to the mix. My Maid/Matron of Honor loved it. Then I tried an all purple color combo. All m girls where commenting. After talking to them, one on one, they all confessed that they didn’t want to wear those other colors, but would weat it if I asked them. Then and there I decided to change my color pallette.
I am still having pinks oranges and yellows, but theyare going to be in the flowers. I told them the compromise was that they would have to have hairstyles with flowers and carry big bouquets. All of the additonal lawn games are going to be made in the colors I want.
I figured it would be better to make my girls comfortable than to force a color on them. I want them to look and feel gorgeous. Half of looking good is feeling good. They know what makes them feel good, I’m sure your squad is filled with gorgeous stylish ladies. Work with them, maybe there is another color in your palette that would suit them better.
However if you try to meet them half way and they still fight you on it, go with what you want.
FWIW, there was one dress I absolutely hated the color. I did say so to the bride, but after the color was decided and the dresses ordered, I shut up about it.
Post # 18
I’ve never understood this. I’ve been a bridesmaid 10 times. Each and every time, I have purchased my dress and worn the color/style/whatever that the bride wants. This is literally your only job as a bridesmaid.
When I picked out my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, I found the one I liked and sent an email to my 7 BMs telling them where they could buy it. I didn’t ask for opinions. Several of them wrote me back with excitement saying they loved it, but it’s possible that some of them hated it. But since I didn’t ask, they didn’t tell me. Maybe you’re asking for too much of their input?
Post # 19
I disagree with “its just one day.” Its the day of the wedding plus however many days it takes them to earn $150 after taxes.
I just don’t get the expetation of telling someone what to wear, sending them the bill, and expecting them to be happy about it. Are they decorations or are they your friends? Even with decorations, I don’t expect a centerpiece to be happy about what color it is, because that is an expectation to have of a person, so you have to decide which you’ll be treating them as.
Post # 20
or maybe it is the evolution of society finally realizing that bridesmaids are more than decor – they are our family and friends and people we love and should want to be comfortable instead of treating them like props. Just because you were willing to just shut up and fork over money doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to treat people with love and respect and change outdated traditions. I personally think it is great that so many men and women are coming to realize that people are more than props and actively caring about the comfort and financial constraints of their loved ones.
Post # 21
Nope. I picked my color purely based on what I was confident would look good across their skin tones.
I went bridesmaid shopping with a bridesmaid and she tried on a light peach in one dress because it was the only color they had in that cut and it looked HIDEOUS on her (she has a slightly darker skin tone). Like objectively terrible. We both got a good laugh at how bad it was and she thanked me for not picking a color like that. A different friend saw the photo while I was scrolling through my phone and remarked “oh dear God I hope you aren’t making her wear that”.
I don’t understand why brides would require their bridesmaids to spend money to buy a dress that all the guests will think looks ugly on them. And then get stuck with photos where their bridesmaids look terrible.
Post # 22
There is a very easy solution to this. You let them wear dark coral
Post # 23
“Sorry bridesmaids. This is the color scheme I’m going for. I understand if you don’t exactly love the colors, but these are the colors we chose for the wedding.” If they keep pressing the issue, just keep repeating it over and over and over again.
Seriously, it’s one day. That isn’t even centered around them. I could see if they were uncomfortable because of the fit of the dress or something, but something as silly as the color? No ones going to even be paying close enough attention to them to be like “omg, her bridesmaids don’t look good in that color!” The colors you described are lovely.
Post # 24
$150 is a lot for most people. I have only ever spent that much on an outfit when it was a bridesmaid’s dress or my wedding dress. I rewear bridesmaids dresses for formal events because I don’t want to waste 150-200 that I spent on a single dress. So in my case I was so happy that my friends picked colors that I was comfortable in. One of my friends spent a few days holding up swatches to all of our arms to settle on a shade in a color family that she liked. – Meaning she wanted something blue or peachy pink and she held up a bunch of different blues and pinks against everyone. It turned out that there was no pink that complimented everyone, so we ended up with a blue. The pinks ended up in the flowers.
If you’re willing to buy the dresses for your friends, then I’d say that you can dictate what they wear. But if you’re asking them to spend much more than they typically spend on clothing and requiring it be something they dislike (meaning they are effectively throwing out $150) then I’d say adjust your vision.
Maybe have them wear a darker coral and then have them carry the lighter flowers? Do a lighter palette and have a darker coral pop in a few places to match them? Maybe a darker coral dress with a belt that matches the rest of the palette?
Post # 25
It’s one day and it’s not their day. I’m more than happy to wear what my best friends want me to when I’m standing next to them on their big day. I would hope my friends would feel the same for me. (And they all do). If you can’t suck it up and wear your not-favorite color for one day, I think that’s pretty self-centered. Let the bride have her day. I understand we don’t want bridezillas getting too out of control, but having the final say on a COLOR is really not that big of a crime. I never said they shouldn’t take their friends’ budgets into consideration, but the color really is up to the bride.
Post # 26
Would your bridesmaids feel more comfortable spending $50 to rent a dress in any color of your choosing instead of $150 for a dress they don’t like but would own? I had my bridesmaids rent dresses from online for $50 and they looked beautiful! They also appreciated not having to shell out as much money for something they might not wear again. If you would like more info on the company I used send me a PM.
I did take their opinions in consideration when choosing colors though, and let them see some of the colors I was considering to give some input. I was just lucky that they all liked the colors I liked most for my color scheme and were happy with the final choice.
Post # 27
I am kind of torn.
On the one hand, I’ve always been the type of bridesmaid who keeps my opinions to myself and wears whatever the bride wants. It’s one day and I don’t care WHAT dress we pick out, I am NEVER in the need of a plain, floor length chiffon dress, whether it’s my favorite color or not.
I find their reasoning a little…I don’t know. It absolutely puts you in a tough situation. Personally, darker skin tones typically rock almost every color, so I don’t understand this argument. Someone else made a fantastic point: When they get married, they’ll be wearing a white (or off-white or even peach) dress, not watermelon or hot pink.
Another poster mentioned putting your friendship before a “vision” but, again, I don’t think you are out of line. If you have already paid money for decor, invites, groomsman attire in a color scheme, I also don’t think it’s fair that you have to be forced into choosing dresses for the girls that are completely out of wack. If your entire wedding is soft colors and then the bridesmaids are in fuschia, it’s going to look out of place and that is an obvious, not ridiculous thing to want to avoid.
The easiest solution? Offer to pay for each of the dresses. If that doens’t work, offer to pay a portion. At the end of it, I’d just select a few different colors that you like and ask them to choose one of them. Maybe if they can go for an ombre look they’ll feel they have more of a choice.
I had a vague color scheme in mind and I had my girls vote on what they wanted to do. From there, they picked their own dresses in any of the colors I provided. It was fine.
Post # 28
Personally I feel like if you want the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses then they should get some say in what dress is chosen. I would either try to compromise with them a bit, or else offer to pay for part of their dresses.
You could also look into doing tulle skirts/long skirts in the colour you like then they can choose their own white top. It gives them a bit of freedom with it and makes the colour less overbearing.
Post # 29
Not all dark skin tones can rock all colors, particualrly if it’s a dark skin tone that has some yellow to it. It’s the yellow that makes these pastel peachy colors a problem. However, pure white for a wedding dress won’t be an issue.
Post # 30
- Wedding: June 2018 - Tizer Gardens/Carroll College
Yeah, I’m not dictating anything to my Maid/Matron of Honor – the only person standing up with me. I told her my color scheme was dark blue, gold and white, and she could pick whatever color she wanted. She went with Vera Wang sapphire blue. It did not matter to me what she wore – if she wanted blush pink, bright red, whatever. There are things that matter and those that don’t. This is one of those don’ts to me.
She keeps sending me pictures of red shoes, and I keep telling her it doesn’t matter to me what she chooses, but they choices she’s finding are ultimately why I ended up choosing to go with the light gold shoes that I did. No one, and I mean no one, makes a classy red shoe.