(Closed) What to do when bridal party doesn't feel comfortable in your color palette?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a friend who chose this lavender shade for the dresses. It had a grey undertone and didn’t look great on those of us with yellow toned skin. But I said nothing and just wore the dress. Not a huge deal, but if your gfs have never been BMs before, they may not have the same feeling. It sucks to pay $$ for a one time dress but that’s just how it is.

Another friend, she took us to the store to try on different shades of purple Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses to figure out what looked best on us. I think light coral or blush would look great on darker skin! If you can’t get together with a few BMs to try dresses on in person, maybe you can order color swatches from a site like Weddington Way in various lighter shades that still fit your wedding colors. Your BMs can hold up the swatches to their skin and figure out which one they like and limit their choices to those swatches.

Post # 32
Member
9606 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

you said you want light coral and they want dark coral.

could you do, like.. medium coral?

 

Post # 33
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

appleblossom217 :  If someone told me to “suck it up or get out” in such a rude manner, then I would most certainly get out. Honestly, those tones don’t look great on really fair skinned people either as it washes them out too. So basically only tan people look good in blush, which is really limiting. If you are expecting them to pay for the dresses then I think you need to take their preferences into consideration.

Post # 34
Member
765 posts
Busy bee

Another option would be to pick a color, hold firm on it, and tell your BMs to pick a dress in that color, so they can spend way less than $150 if it’s a one-time wear type situation

Post # 35
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

If the dress is expensive for your bridesmaids, consider paying for it.

I wouldn’t be seriously annoyed about a $100 bridesmaid dress I hate, but I would certainly make my opinion known about a $300 dress color I dislike and would 100% step down if a $500 dress was unflattering. I firmly believe we don’t get to tell other people how to spend their money, but we can ask. If we are asking others to spend their money, then of course they get a say. 

 

Post # 36
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Jewelieee :  + if they HAVE been bridesmaids, they already have too many unwearable expensive dresses in their closet.

 

Blush and pinky colors can make dark skin look ashy, or have undertones that don’t flatter the skin, or make someone’s eyes or teeth look a strange shade. Or maybe they just don’t like blush, lol.

Post # 37
Member
402 posts
Helper bee

I think a wedding planner who acts as the bad guy would be great right now or good planning to start from.  As Wedding Party or director I get the couple to pick the outfit or choices and I send out an email on behalf of the bride adn groom letting them know all the dtails of the wedding in respect that they need to know – when, where what and what the outfits are and the expectations on the bridesmaid or groomsman in respect to costs ie outfit, accessories and grooming so it is clear  – ideally this is done when the b and g send out invites to be in the wedding party so right at the beginng.

 

I think brides and grooms need to know how much their friends or wedding party are paying and recognize that and see what they can do or be senstive to costs.

People in the wedding party also need to realize part of the gig is going to cost and means wearing and doing things you may not think are flattering (and it might just be you who thinks taht).

 

I was forced to wear a black velvet suit from head to toe, a lace shirt with originally no lining – like see through and my hair in Shakespearan / Shirley Temple ? whoever she is curls   I was not a happy camper.  

So to all brides and bridesmaids – suck it up princesses!

Post # 38
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Chris4 :  “I was forced to wear a black velvet suit from head to toe, a lace shirt with originally no lining – like see through and my hair in Shakespearan / Shirley Temple ? whoever she is curls   I was not a happy camper.”

Relevance? I was held at gunpoint once, so that’s a defensive of holdups I guess? 

 

If the dresses are wedding decor then the couple picks them. And pays for them. If the dresses are clothing of the wearers then the wearers pick them and pay for them. They aren’t decor when it comes time to pick them and not decor when it comes time to pay for them. 

 

Post # 39
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I had planned on the color palate of sage green blush and peach with my hubby to be. The ladies tried on those colored dresses and hated them. They all liked purple so I changed the blush and peach for plum and lavender and called it a day. 

Hoping your situation can be easily fixed. 

Post # 40
Member
7910 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s common now for bridesmaids to wear varying shades of a particular color. Maybe you could use that strategy to compromise with your bridesmaids and give them some color freedom. 

Post # 41
Member
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I will pretty much wear whatever a bride wants but brides here pay for the dresses so if they want to waste money on a dress that makes me look shit and standout in your photos as looking shit then go for it.

But if I was in the US or anywhere else that has the ridiculous imho notion that the bridal party should pay then I would never ever be a bridesmaids. Sorry I have better things to waste my money on than your wedding vision.

OP do you want grumpy bridesmaids that are feeling uncomfortable/self conscious in a dress they hate to complete your vision or do you want them to be happy and comfortable? Also consider that if you stick with your vision you may lose a bridesmaid or two. What is more important them being there as your bridesmaids or a dress colour?

Post # 42
Member
3837 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I think they should suck it up. It’s not like you’re forcing them to wear tutus, it’s just not their absolute favorite shade. Bridesmaids dresses often aren’t everyone’s absolute favorite thing because you all need to go together and suit the theme and that’s just how it is. If they would be happy with a darker coral then wearing something a bit lighter than their ideal color is not a great hardship. 

Post # 43
Member
623 posts
Busy bee

My opinion is:

If you want them to wear something they dont like, then you pay for it. 

If you let them have partial say, then they cover some. 

If you let them have full say, then they cover the whole dress. You give them the colour and they can pick a shade.

 

They did say yes to being your bridesmaid so they need to understand they have to fit in with a theme. However they shouldnt have to pay for a dress you pick and they have no say in.

 

Post # 44
Member
402 posts
Helper bee

impatient1 :  I see how you got your name lol.  The point is being in the wedding party is to honor your friends; sometimes you wear things you wouldn’t or aren’t the most flattering or comfortable to honor them.  

Post # 45
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

While I’m on the camp make the bride happy, I wouldn’t be happy paying $150 on something I hate. It’s big amount of money for a dress, especially the one that make me look ugly lol.

Anyway if you do pay for the dress, I would wear anything you ask.

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