When "Casual" is too Casual…

posted 3 months ago in Beehive
Post # 16
1431 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

My Father-In-Law told me he’d wear his best jean shorts to my wedding. But showed up in a suit on the day 😎

Post # 17
11956 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

The fault really was the drama causing aunt’s. Unless it’s black tie or there are venue restrictions it isn’t polite to dictate a dress code. You’d think people would have more common sense than to wear cut offs and a hoodie, though. 

Post # 18
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

If we’re going to compare best guest outfits, I have one.  At my friend’s wedding a few years ago, her cousin showed up in a tuxedo tshirt, shorts and flip flops.  The wedding was at a pretty swanky country club so he looked completely out of place.  He technically wasn’t invited but his mom (bride’s aunt) said he could come with some of his friends after dinner.  One of the friends was hitting on me and I remember he wore a Dunder Mifflin tshirt.

Post # 19
2404 posts
Buzzing bee

Here’s what perplexes me:

If it’s warm enough to wear Daisy Dukes.. wouldn’t it be too hot to wear a hoodie? 

Post # 20
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

weddingmaven :  Beyond the ettiquette, it just seems pointless to specify anything other than black tie. Terms like “formal”, “semi-formal” or “casual” leave too much wiggle room to be meaningful. In the end, someone who will wear jeans to a wedding will do it regardless of what the invitation says. Adding dress codes just confuses the people who would otherwise still care enough to try to fit in with what’s appropriate and expected.

Post # 21
1040 posts
Bumble bee

I read this and immediately thought that she did it on purpose, to spite her cousin. Her lack of desire to apologize paired with her actively changing from a “nicer” outfit for the ceremony into a hoodie and short shorts so that she HAD better clothes in her car/bag/cabin meant that she was intentionally disrespecting the family.

She mentions that she was also married. So age, or complete lack of understanding of wedding etiquette wasn’t the problem here.

This girl hates her cousin and wanted to act in a trashy way in order to bring down the feel of her cousin’s wedding, but likely only served to make a point of looking bad herself. In no world is “hoodie and shorts cut up my butt” a “casual attire” for a special event.

She wanted to show her cousin that she wasn’t special, and then blamed the aunt for “misinformation.”

She probably hated her own wedding, or hates the part of her family that made her feel B-list and decided to do this as a way to stick it to them.

Post # 22
6403 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I just cant imagine anyone being oblivious or tone deaf enough to think that cut-offs and a hoodie would be appropriate for ANY wedding or reception. I have to agree that she, for whatever reason, did it to spite the cousin. An apology would cost her nothing but might save the relationship, and she’s still unwilling.

And I learned something new today! I am familiar with a lot of abbreviations, but had not seen YTA. I like it! 

Post # 23
3905 posts
Honey bee

Gee, upon further thought it seems very mean girlish to criticize casual clothes. We may have some casual clothes wearers on the forum and we’re not supposed to criticize lifestyle choices.

Idiotic, isn’t it?  That’s what I thought

Post # 24
4670 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

this is what I pictured coming to the wedding in their daisy dukes. Uncle Eddie and fam!

Post # 25
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

My wedding dress code was casual, and one older guest showed up in a t-shirt and jeans. To his horror, everyone else (including his wife) dressed up. He was quite upset and complained that we said the dress code was casual. We actually had zero issue with him in t-shirt and jeans but he stood out in a bad way and I felt sorry for him.

Post # 26
8809 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Does anyone remember the post from a few years ago where someone was asking if her dress-hoodie was too fancy to wear to a wedding? It was white with a lacy pattern printed on it and she was legit asking if that was too bridal and does she need to wear her second-best, less bridal-looking hoodie. I thought some of the replies were pretty judgey of casual weddings in general. I couldn’t care less if the couple wears jeans or cowboy boots or whatever, or encourage guests to wear jeans too. Who cares? But I admit I did get a kick out of the concept of a dress hoodie that might be inappropriate due to fanciness.

Post # 28
8809 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

 camoandglitter :  Yes that’s it. Now I feel a little bad because the OP is still active here. Sorry Nykee. It’s definitely a pretty hoodie! 

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