- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’ve been wanting to write this post for quite a long time.
Until I started planning my wedding 2 years ago, I never realized there was such a term as “gift grabby” and the like.
I had no idea that people viewed bridal showers, registries, and bridal dances (aka dollar dances) as tacky, gift grabby, etc.
At first it just struck me as odd. But the more I see posts about it, the angrier I get
Here’s the thing. A wedding is a celebration. And if you are invited to that celebration (or anything associated with the celebration, like the bridal shower), that means that you are related to or a good friend of the bride and/or her family. Typically this means that you love that person and/or her/his family.
So what do you do when you love someone and they are celebrating a big milestone in their life? You give them a gift. A card. Some cash. Something to make them feel special. Something to help them out. Something to help remember the day/that time.
I mean, this is where bridal showers originated. Back in the day, before couples lived together before getting married, the bride and groom had nothing. No toaster, no plates, no vaccuum cleaner, etc. So someone brilliantly said “let’s throw her a party and shower her with gifts because we love her so much and want to help her start her life!”
Apparently now this amazing gesture is seen as “gift grabby” by the bride and groom.
And registries came into effect so that the couple didn’t end up with 12 toasters. And if they DID end up with 12 toasters, at least they knew where they could return them.
But apparently now these things are taboo, tacky, classless, greedy.
When you get an invitation to a 5 year old’s birthday party, is your first thought, “Ugh, their parents just want other people to buy their kid toys.”
You buy the kid a gift because you love the kid and/or his/her parents and you want them to enjoy the day.
I have a SERIOUS problem with people who have issues with the bridal dance. I am Polish, Croatian, and Slovak and this dance is extremely important in our culture. I could write pages about the cultural signifigance but I’ve already done that on plenty of other previous posts.
But I don’t understand why people slam it. I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride/groom refused to dance with a guest because they didn’t drop a buck in the bag.
And again, last time I checked, most friends/relatives WANT to HELP the couple start their lives by throwing out a couple of bucks. It’s all in good fun. It’s all about love and friendship and family.
So I really DO NOT understand why people have such issues with showers, registries, and bridal dances.
Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why people are so reluctant to give?
(and no, I am NOT rich/wealthy by any means. My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes we have to scrape together funds to get a newly married couple a $25 gift card to their fave restaurant. But you know what? I LOVE them. I want to give them something to help them celebrate. I LOVE giving things to people). What is wrong with that????