(Closed) When did gift giving become such an awful thing????

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 121
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I like giving my friends gifts! Gifts are a fun way to show you care about someone. However, a good gift doens’t have to be expensive and I certainly don’t want my guests trying to “cover their plate” or bring a gift at all if it isn’t something they want to do! I’m in med school living on student loans and so are many of my friends. The only reason I can have the wedding is due to inheritances from my grandmother and FIs grandfather so I don’t expect people to have money to spend on me. 

I like registries because it helps me know what a couple needs, as long as it has gifts in a range of prices so that people with less can not feel put out! 

I don’t like things like stag and doe parties or dollar dances tho- Those seem specifically like “we are having this so you pay us money” things

Post # 122
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I think that showers and the money dance are all good, fun, and well intentioned traditions.  What makes me roll my eyes though is when a couple hosting a 200 person wedding registers for $10,000 worth of items.  I know the registry is just supposed to be a suggestion, and when used appropriately I think registries are really useful, but excessive registries are overwhelming for guests.  After all, in this day and age most couples have basic kitchen and home supplies before they get married.  I think having an excessive number of showers with overlapping guests crosses the line too (unless you make it clear to them that gifts are by no means neccessary).  Over course I wish the happy couple well and want to celebrate them and give them a gift, but I don’t want to feel obligated to give them gifts again and again and again.  The obligation is the difference between being gracious and “grabby”  A gracious bride realizes that gifts aren’t the reason behind getting married.

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