When did HE know you were the one?

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
  • poll:
  • Post # 31
    481 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, UK

    He apparently knew immediately. He mentioned marriage after one week. We were engaged after four months.

    Post # 32
    1477 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    My fiance said a big turning point for him figuring it out was actually during a disagreement, lol.  He wasn’t used to people being very directly communicative with him and he almost broke up with me because he didn’t think he could handle it.  We had only been seeing each other for about a month at that time.  I was pretty upset because I really enjoyed him, and I told him that.  I told him I was really sad that he felt that way but would respect whatever decision he made.  Then he sat there silently for a reeeeeally long time…lol.  Then he looked at me and he said “I know this is a 180 and will sound really weird.  But would you like to be exclusive?” lol

    He told me later that he had a little voice in the back of his head that was telling him to keep trying.  He realized that I wasn’t about to start any drama, or yell at him, or try to guilt him into staying.  I would have given him the freedom to walk out the door with no mess if that’s what he really wanted.  He said he realized that he owed it to himself to stick around and see if I was the real deal.

    A few months later I took him on a surprise trip for his birthday, and he said shortly after that was when it clicked for him that he knew he wanted to be with me forever.

    Post # 33
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - York, ME

    rubilove :  I think he knew I was the one right away.  I was in a relationship when we met, and he was happy to be friends so we could be in each other’s lives.  I ended that relationship about a month after we met, and a few months later we started dating.  He said “I love you” before one month together, and was always very clear about his feelings for me even though it took me longer to catch up.

    I have anxiety too, and he helped me feel secure and sure in our relationship when I was freaking out. Hopefully you already talk to him about the anxiety regarding your relationship, so that he has the opportunity to offer you reassurance.  The counseling will also be very helpful I’m sure!

    Post # 34
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I asked my husband, and his answer was, “I knew you were the one from the moment I saw you.” (Which was at a friend’s Halloween party.)

    I told him that’s silly; maybe he was interested, but he couldn’t have known that I would be a good fit for him just from seeing me. 

    But he said that he could just tell from my mannerisms and the way I was interacting with other people that I was the kind of person he wanted. He said the first time he actually spoke to me and officially met me, at another party a couple months later, that solidified it for him. 

    Unfortunately, I was dating someone else for the first 2.5 years that I knew my now-husband, so I was always off limits and we were just casual friends that chit-chatted at get-togethers every so often. But after I broke off that relationship, he asked me out and he already knew that if I would just give him the chance to be in a relationship with me, then he would end up marrying me. Sure enough, that’s what happened!

    It took me much longer to decide he was the one. I knew the relationship had a lot of potential right from the beginning, but I wasn’t 100% confident about him until about 9 or 10 months in. He proposed after about 13 months together. 

    Post # 35
    1045 posts
    Bumble bee

    He says that he thought I was special from the day we met. We were at Ueno Zoo in Japan, and I had to leave to teach a conversational lesson. He made up an excuse to be in the area afterward so we could hang out together, even though he lived about an hour in the other direction. Even though I thought he was kind of cute, I was dating someone else and not remotely interested in any other guys. We became best friends. He knew he loved me a few months later, and I guess for him I’ve always been the one, no matter how much time passed. It took me about 15 years to catch up but I’m so glad I did. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 36
    11 posts
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m not exactly sure but two weeks in he told me he loved me and maybe three months in he told me he wanted to marry me one day.

    We got engaged 2 years later. We wanted to finish school first. 

    Post # 37
    320 posts
    Helper bee

    After 6 weeks he proposed so I’m guessing right around there. 

    Post # 38
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - Sandpoint, ID

    I just asked my husband this.  He said early.  I asked how early.  He said less than a month.  I asked what it was that made him know.  He said he just felt that connection with me.  When we met,  I had just turned 18 only 3 months before.  He was turning 24 just 2 months after we met.  We didn’t get engaged until 9 years in and finally got married right before our 10 year dating anniversary.  I always knew he was the one.  Did I get tired of waiting? ABSOLUTELY! Did I know we would be married one day? You betcha.  I do see sooo many people on these boards saying that you’re wasting your time if you’re not engaged by such and such a time but I guarantee that there’s also plenty of people who take much longer to get engaged than what you’d expect.  Before we got engaged,  I went through ups and downs of being upset that it still hadn’t happened,  but if I had given up on my amazing (,now) husband,  I would’ve lost the most amazing person I’ve ever known. Al8, we had our son 3 years into our relationship.  We moved in together after 3 weeks of dating and it was all history from there. ๐Ÿ˜

    Post # 39
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    I knew after the first night we stayed up talking (knew each other from high school but didn’t really get to know each other until senior year of college) I just knew. Walked downstairs to my roommate (who oddly enough had dared him freshman year of high school…. we are NOT from a small town and he went out of state for college) and said I was marrying him. She said I’d lost my mind and he wasn’t worth it. She changed her tune after getting to know “adult” him (we were 23 at this point…. they had dated at 14).


    he says he knew within a few months but he didn’t tell me he loved me for 8 or so months. It caused a lot of stress as I moved faster. But I’ve come to love and appreciate his careful thought out ways. It really frustrated me at times, but in reality, it has balanced my highly emotional and fast ways

    Post # 40
    1384 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    My husband said he knew on our 1st date that he could see himself married to a girl like me. That was it for him… I thought he was crazy but he proved me wrong about the marrying part but maybe not the crazy part ๐Ÿคฃ. One week later I felt he was the one too and 3 weeks after we met, he proposed. Boy, was I surprised.  Who would have thought that I’d actually say yes. Definitely not me ..but here we are 7 years married and living an incredible family life that I never could have imagined. ๐Ÿ˜

    Post # 41
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2020 - Scotland

    he knew fairly early on, and I knew not long after that (we’re talking like 1-2 months), he proposed after more than 3.5 years of dating and almost 3 years of living together. Coming up on 4 years together and the most important thing is every day I still know he’s the one. almost every thing he says or does (yes even some of the dumb stuff) reassures me that this man is my other half 

    Post # 42
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2020 - City, State

    rubilove :  My Fiance says he knew for certain on our second date! I took a little longer to warm up (I had a few bad relationships before I met him) but it was pretty early on for me as well (within a couple months of dating). We recently got engaged after dating about a year and four months, and our wedding will be fall of 2020!  

    Post # 43
    68 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2019 - San Antonio, TX

    He says he had made up his mind to marry me a little after the one year mark. It took him about 7-8 months after that to propose and we got married 3 months later.

    Post # 44
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    We knew before we started re-dating ๐Ÿ™‚ Let me explain…

    We got together at 21/22 and dated for a bit under 2 years. On graduating college our lives took us in different directions (metaphorically and literally) so we broke up rather then try to fight through indefinite inter-continental LDR. At that point in our lives we were no where near ready to commit and make huge sacrifices for the relationship, but we also didn’t have any major foundational issues in our relationship (just the usual youth/immaturity of early twenty year olds!)

    We stayed in touch but nothing romantic for the next 2-3 years. Saw other people, pursued our careers/advanced degrees, and lived our lives assuming we’d probably never see each other again. After about 3 years life randomly brought us geographically to the same place for a weekend and we realized the connection was still there. We started connecting a lot more virtually and then made the decision that we’d get back together and he would move to be with me (in a new country and continent). We made that decision with the explicit agreement “We think this relationship has genuine potential for marriage and we are entering this relationship with the expectation that we’re ready to amke the compromises and sacrifices to push this relationship to marriage”.

    neither of us bleieves in “the one” but we do believe that certain individuals make compatible life partners and we felt that about each other. After 6 months of being back together (and him moved over) I think we both felt this was our life-partner but felt no need to get married yet. 18 months later it made sense to get married so we got engaged, married a year later, and been married for 3+ years at this point.

    So I’d say we were both 90% sure about each other when we started re-dating and 100% sure within 6 months…but that’s all on the back of 4+ years friendship (including 2 yrs dating). 

    Post # 45
    1431 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

    I’m guessing when he ( the eternal bachelor, only child, no kids) wanted to move in with me despite the fact that four kids live there half the time. 

    Actually when I asked him this question he said it was when he told me he loved me after about 5 months of dating he knew.  He couldn’t believe he found someone after 45 years. 

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