(Closed) When did NOT including registry information become a crazy NO!?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hmmm. I didn’t know there was another thread that got heated. But honestly, I plan to include that info on my shower invites and then let it travel word of mouth after that. I’ve seen it done both ways (not included and included) on shower invites. But I’ve never seen it on actuall wedding invitations.

I’ve had to text two of my three friends getting married to ask where they were registered because they didn’t have any info on the shower invites.

Post # 5
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think it’s because people then assume that you are asking for gifts, or demanding gifts, when technically they are supposed to be optional and not mandatory. I’m not including registry info, but I’ve had a lot of people ask about it. It makes me cringe a bit to see it on an invite, but to each his own!

Post # 6
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I didn’t include it in ours, and now I wish I had. People keep asking and I feel bad for not letting them know but I didn’t want to  put it in there like we’re registered here and here so get us a gift.

Post # 7
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

But technically that is what a shower is for, no?

Showering the bride and groom with gifts. You have a registry, why not share?

I really don’t see it as begging for gifts. If that’s how it feels why register at all? I admit I don’t like the idea of everyone buying us things, but that’s how it works. People want to, or they don’t. I don’t expect it. But if they do, I’d rather supply them with the info they need.

Post # 8
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m not having a shower because all of my BM’s live out of town/state and well, I just don’t have friends. I don’t really get a long with too many girls and Fiance wouldn’t appreciate the shower with a bunch of guys lol

Post # 9
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee

If you are not having a website just put it in. Or if there is a huge uproar just make a separate insert card with registry info. Everyone knows registries exist. Everyone knows you’re suppost to bring a gift so why play the game all hush hush like none of it exists and this stuff just magically happens?

Post # 10
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@xshellx2003: Aww, I’m sorry. :/

I’m sure the guys would LOVE that! LOL Can you see them all sitting in a circle “ooo-ing and awww-ing” over gifts, and playing games?? Bahahahaha!

Post # 11
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

It’s because gifts are optional, not required.  And, yes, showers are the exceptions where you include the registry information.  As you’ve noticed in the above posts, if people want to get you something you are registered for, they will ask you or your family and friends where you are registered.  But buying from the registry is not required.  A gift is just that, a gift.  Something given voluntarily from the heart.  Tucking it in the invitation is tacky because it is presuming on your guests that not only will they be getting you a gift, but insisting they get it from your registry.  Hope that helps.  Not trying to flame, just explain the ettiquette.

Post # 12
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Half of my dad’s side of the family thought I wasn’t getting married or they weren’t invited because our invitations weren’t out yet. We get married at the end of May and I’m sending them out tomorrow. Everywhere it has said to send invitations out a month before the wedding. I should have done Save The Dates but our reception can only hold so many people so I think it works best this way, less people will come. (I know pretty bad haha)

But that is besides the point. I think that the way my extended family is where they basically know nothing and we barely talk then it is okay to put in website information. And then put your registry information on the website. I just put in a pretty little business card size paper with “Please visit us at http://www…com for directions and further information.” I know its a big no-no but come on its 2011! And I did not specifically say registry. I think most people are thankful you put your information out there.

Post # 13
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it’s one of those old school taboo’s that we are ignoring with our invite package. Granted, we are not posting the info on the actual invitation, but we are including it in our pocketfold.  But we also do not have a wedding website and about 3/4 of our guests will be traveling to our city.

Pretty much ever wedding invitation I have gotten from people of my generation had the registry info included, which is handy to me as a guest because I am given all the info, and I don’t have to hunt it down.  But then again, I usually have to travel to weddings and have never been involved in one of those small community everyone-knows-everyone situations where the registry info can be whispered around. 

Post # 14
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I will be putting registry information on our website (which is under construction still) and putting the website address somewhere in the invitation suite, but definitely not on the actual invite itself. I would include it on invites to the shower if I were having one, because isn’t that what the shower is for? But I’m in the same boat as @xshellx2003: and probably won’t be having a shower. His fam is 6 hrs away, mine is all across the country. We have just barely started making friends here (we moved here in Oct, so not long at all, really) and don’t expect anyone here to throw us a shower. His mom/SIL might, but we would have to travel 6 hrs to go to it, so I dunno.

Post # 15
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

It is tacky because it then appears that gifts are required. Also you are then actively soliciting gifts. It seems greedy to many recipients.

A shower is an exception because you are not hosting the event, and a shower is a mandatory gift giving occasion.

Spread the information to those that ask, via word of mouth.

Post # 16
Member
722 posts
Busy bee

Guests are under no obligation to give gifts. Providing registry info in the invitation makes it appear that they are a requirement-that there is a charge to attend the wedding. If people don’t know where to look(and most will easily find it on their own) they will call you mother or another relative.

I have never seen someone include this information in a wedding invitation. It is okay to put on shower invites, beacuse you and your family are not sending those out-the host of the shower is.

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