(Closed) When did the kids/no kids talk come up?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
6241 posts
Bee Keeper

1st date. i was 37 at the time and Fiance 39 so we don’t have oodles of time to hang about!

Post # 32
Member
1552 posts
Bumble bee

DH and I discussed it on our first date. Neither one of us saw the point of wasting our time on someone we couldn’t have a future with. That being said, we didn’t rush into things, either. We dated for over 2 years before getting engaged. 

Post # 33
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We talked about it about a week after we started dating..I didn’t want to waste my time if he didn’t want kids, cos it was a dealbreaker for me. Luckily he wanted kids as much as I did.

Post # 34
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The convo came up pretty early on in our relationship.  I was previously with an ex for 5 years, and engaged, before we ever had this convo…in which the ex told me he didn’t ever want kids.  It was definitely an issue and a deal breaker for me, even though this wasn’t the sole reason why we split. 

So when I was dating DH, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t wasting my time and we talked about it after a few months of dating. 

Post # 35
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

It came up as soon as we were getting serious about each other. We were both upfront from the beginning and I said that I could not be with someone who did not want kids. We also talked about how many and how old we wanted to be and in what financial position before we had them. Also, everyone has strong opinions on the subject so we also talked about what we would want to do if one of us was biologically unable to have kids (as in if adoption was the next step or a last resort). 

Post # 36
Member
3899 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
SunnierDaysAhead:  On the first date. I was 26 (one week before turning 27) he was 35. We both knew we wanted to have a family, so finding a life partner and lover (all in one) who had the same plans/hopes/dreams was cruicial for both. And neither of us had a lot of time to waste, so like 2 hours into the date aftet we have established mutual liking and small talk we talked about that stuff!

Post # 37
Member
4746 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t even remember anymore – we talked about this years before we got engaged. Anyone who knows me knows I love kids, so it was kind of a given for me, but we did actually have a real conversation about it – more than once. (We started dating young and had a long relationship, so I wanted to ensure neither of us had changed our mind before we moved forward.)

Post # 38
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

We’re CBC and even at 18 I knew I didn’t want kids. We had “the talk” before our first date (essentially I told him not to waste his time if he wanted babies, haha). 

Post # 39
Member
4285 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

At least 6 months in. But we started dating when I was 19. If i were dating as an “adult” I would be bringing it up much sooner.

Post # 40
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

We talked about it on our second(?) date. Very early on.

Post # 42
Member
597 posts
Busy bee

We started dating when we were 20, and at some point both of us agreed that we “could go either way”. We finished university, bought a house together, suddenly we’re like, 28 years old and marriage seems to be around the corner. I thought about it and decided that I definitely did want kids. So one day I said “you know how we said we could go either way when it came to having kids? Well, I’m picking my way now. I want kids.” He was a bit confused at first because I think he thought we’d just keep saying we could go either way until we were 80. I just ended the conversation by saying “Don’t propose unless you are prepared to have kids! By proposing, you’re sealing the deal!” I guess in retrospect it could have blown up in my face, but we’re married with a kid now, so hurray!

Post # 43
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We talked about it a few months in. I was on the fence about kids and he say it as this far off thing that wasn’t really tangible. We’ve had a few more conversations in the 2.5 years we’ve been dating,  and now I’m definitely leaning towards wanting them. Damn biological clock!

Post # 44
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We talked about it a few months in. I was on the fence about kids and he saw it as this far off thing that wasn’t really tangible. We’ve had a few more conversations in the 2.5 years we’ve been dating,  and now I’m definitely leaning towards wanting them. Damn biological clock!

Post # 45
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We met online so we talked about it before we even met, and then again on some of our dates to make sure we were still on the same page. We both know we wanted kids  (him more since he already has 1 son) so now that we’re getting married, we’re working out the timeline. 

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