(Closed) When did we become simply housewives?!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m right there with you! 50% of all my gifts were things off my registry! I am still very greatful and it was kind of them to give the gifts-but i’m not gonna lie-some clothes would have been great-all my $ is going to the wedding! ๐Ÿ˜›

Post # 18
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We got some things off our registry for Christmas too. I think it was just easier for people to buy those things for us since they knew it was something we wanted.

When anyone asks what we want lately, we say gift certificates – doesn’t matter where to. We’re trying not to spend any excess money so gift certs were big this year. I was able to hit up the Gap & Banana for a couple new pairs of jeans that I desperately needed. My parent’s gave us a gift cert to a really nice restaurant so we could have a nice night out together without spending money. FI’s brother gave us a $100 card to Target – prob. the best gift we got!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 19
Bee
11811 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

Oh man, I would be so annoyed!  I second the idea of returning the stuff for some things you actually want.  And maybe next year drop some hints about what you want??

Post # 20
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It can be hard for people to always be ‘up on’ what you want for your birthday and Christmas every year. So household gifts, in most people’s eyes, are an easy out as they can assume the gifts will at least be useful.

Next year, try arming your husband with several suggestions for what to buy you for Xmas and your birthday, in case people ask. Make sure they are easy for anyone to buy, not too expensive and semi-thoughtful. Like a nice scented candle, pajamas, DVD’s or Itunes gift cards, a new scarf, etc. Things that people can easily find. Also, schedule a spa appointment or shopping trip for your birthday or the day after to buy yourself nice things that you actually wanted.

Dish towels though? I’m sorry, but that is a terrible gift. Unless they were handmade by the gift giver.. At least it’s something to laugh about!

Post # 21
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I think dish clothes are totally an unacceptable present unless you ask for them.  It’s especially rude when the hubby gets “him” gifts and you get “us/house” gifts.  Hopefully that isn’t setting a precedent!  (Though, one year I did get a toaster oven for Christmas and LOVE it!)

Post # 22
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m probably in the minority here, but I LOVE getting house stuff for Christmas. 

I asked for all kinds of house stuff when we first moved into our apartment 2 years ago and more in each year since then. I really prefer to buy my own clothes, jewelry, perfume, etc. – Its fun for me to go shopping for it and then I always get what I want.

My fiancé gets me fun gifts though – purses, jewelry, football tickets. I’m not sure how I would feel if he got me a blender but from everyone else, those gifts are always very welcome.

Post # 23
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it is sort of rude that you get house things but he gets things that he can actually use.  I second the suggestion that you have your Fiance have a list to give to people when they ask next time so you don’t get things for the house if you don’t want them.  I think those kinds of gifts are better for weddings and showers or anniversaries.  Not for a Christmas or birthday present which should be things for you.

Post # 24
Member
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i guess i’m weird, i wouldn’t mind those things as gifts. when i was in college my mom used to send me a box each month, themed for holidays. usually they included things like dish towels, and bowls, things for my kitchen, and i loved it! i think that kitchen things can be personal because they are meant specifically for you, in a design that you will enjoy. i’m also weirdly practical, i feel guilty getting things i don’t need when i could be getting things that i really do need.

Post # 25
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

This kind of happened to us too… I got mostly stuff for the kitchen from both my parents and his parents. I was okay with it though because we just bought a house and we actually NEED all those things. I’m excited that for the next few years my gifts will help fill my home and make it beautiful because I couldn’t afford to buy all that stuff myself! I think that once we’re more established though it will stop happening and I bet it will for you too. 

Or: 

Make a point of telling everyone that you’re so grateful for the gifts you received this year and you’re totally SET on household goods! heh

Post # 26
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I asked for a sewing machien for Christmas, and when I tell people that, I get the “oh, that sucks” reaction… ?!?! I LOVE it and I am so excited about using it! However, if my parents got me super house-y things, I’d have to tell them that those aren’t really… Christmassy!

Post # 27
Member
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ve asked for household items, but just getting them would be icky, particularly with the marriage.

What also strikes me as odd is who would actually give a man dishtowels, like, ever? My Fiance gets a lot of kitchen related things, but they are hobby related (pressure cooker, highend specialized pot, this year a sausuge stuffer). He doesn’t get practical things, even though he does all of the cooking.

I would think a nice item like a good vacuum, or a dining room table (that is what we are asking my father for as a wedding gift) are gifts to the couple. That is totally acceptable, in my opinion. Dishtowels for the woman and cologne for the man are not!

Post # 28
Member
7811 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My mom got me a wand hand mixer and new cutting boards for Christmas, but I did ask for those!

Post # 29
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

Please don’t flame me but . . .

I think you are making a lot out of the gift issue by assuming that these gifts were given due to some altered sense of who you are, and not out of recognition that you and your Fiance are starting a life togther and are/will be sharing a home together.  Don’t make more out of it than what it really is . . .

I would see it as an opportunity to spend a little household money on things for myself (that I know I love because I chose them!) that would otherwise be obligated for acquiring what is needed to run a house/condo/apartment, etc.  I am assuming that this was your first Christmas as an engaged couple? 
 

Post # 30
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park

Oh wow. I’d be super pissed, honestly. Just because you’re married, they’re now buying you an IRON?! Ack. I love to cook, and I’d be super excited about cooking stuff, but that’s just me. Buy me cleaning stuff though, and we’re going to have major issues!

Post # 31
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I think weddings put people in the mood to buy house-related stuff—even though this isn’t your wedding, or a bridal shower, but just a gift-giving occasion. People probably thought they were being clever and thoughtful by giving you stuff that was different from the usual clothes and purses. And since usually brides are in charge of the registry, not grooms, you got the gifts and not him.

I wouldn’t read too much into this. Okay, it’s disappointing that you didn’t receive what you would really like for Christmas, but this can only go on so long, right? Eventually you will have all the stuff you could possibly desire for your house. And on future gift giving occasions, give hints about the kind of stuff you would like. ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, put personal stuff on your registry! We got a GPS and a iPod stereo dock for our wedding. They’re still sort of “housewares” but a little more fun than ironing boards and dishtowels.

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