(Closed) When did weddings get so bourgeoisie?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I never throw parties or ever get to see all of my family at the same time.  For us, it’s about throwing a good party for our family and good friends.  So yeah, we have to spend money to get what we want for our 100 guests.  A nice dinner out for a couple can cost $100+. Multiply that out and yeah it’s alot of money.  We’re spending the largest amount on catering because we think that is a big part of what makes the event.

Post # 4
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

You know, I have a feeling I’ll be in the minority with this opinion, but I think weddings are actually moving away from that. Maybe it’s just because of the recession, but our generation is much more accepting of DIY, backyard weddings, and other non-traditional elements. Yes, some of those weddings cost the same as the ballroom weddings, but they certainly don’t have to. 

Most of the criticism I’ve come across so far has been from older relatives, and it has all been to concepts that are homemade or DIY, or even just unusual. For instance, we’ll have mismatched seating, because our venue is an artifact resale shop and provides inventory. I’m happy with that; it’s eclectic and fun. But many older relatives have suggested that it won’t “look like a wedding” that way. 

The wedding community is certainly still a material complex, and there is definitely a huge amount of money spent on things that we wouldn’t normally think about having for a party or celebration. But more and more brides are having weddings their way, with cost effective alternatives. 

Post # 5
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

that is a great question… a lot of my choices my be perceive as tacky but we like what we are doing. we are in a really small budget but we are making our wedding very mining full and with a lot of family and friends.  

i dont know who is the law in wedding, but im sure im doing everything wrong in my wedding… and love it!

Post # 6
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Could it be that “the elders” are what’s making weddings so expensive?  I agree w/ lilyfaith. I think our generation is more accepting of the non-traditional wedding ceremony & reception but some brides still get the “Tsk tsk tsk, what do you mean you won’t have a church & huge ballroom reception with a big poofy dress?” talks from “the elders”. 

Post # 9
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Future Mrs Taylor – I know it’s hard, but I’m at the point where I just shrug and say, “we know it’s not traditional, but it’s us and we’re excited about it.” 

Also, you could show her this picture! It’s our venue, and these are the types of chairs that are typically available. This was an actual reception setup. Are your chairs this mismatched? 😉

Post # 10
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What a GREAT question!! I am not sure who says that one has to spend X amount and do and not do certain things to have a great wedding. I am 100% sure that I am doing things that some would think are “tacky”, but I don’t care. I can not justify spending a ton of money on 1 day (not knocking anyone who does).

Post # 13
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Future Mrs Taylor – your venue is gorgeous! I think we have similar tastes, because the same exposed brick/ceiling beam look. 

I’ve noticed that there will always be something wrong with my wedding – if I had the wedding that my older relatives wanted, they’d say we spent too much money! So we’re doing it our way, and including some things that are important to our parents, but drawing the line there. 

Post # 15
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

It does. I love Southern style weddings! I think that the “belle of the ball” feeling can make a wedding feel completely romantic and glamorous while still being country-esque. 

I’m fairly awful at conveying what we’re going for, but it’s a combination of urban and rustic. Our venue is smack in the middle of a Chicago warehouse district, and we love it! We’re incorporating lots of DIY touches (I’m making the cake, etc) and we’re doing very soft shades – creams, yellows, golds, blush pink, peach, and lavender. 

I swear it’ll all go together! But everyone looks at me like I’m crazy when I try to explain it, haha. 

Post # 16
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hi date twin! I don’t think weddings need to be extravagant. If there weren’t so many family members that wanted to be a part of the day we would have had a barbecue in my FH’s backyard. What weddings need to be is your day and a (reasonable) dream come true.

We are now in the same budget bracket you mentioned above!

There is one thing my Future Mother-In-Law loves to ask me is “who’s going to notice?” If the answer is “the bride and groom” we’re going for it.

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