(Closed) When did you and your SO have your first argument?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@nolana:  i csnt think back that far..we have been together 10 years and we were young…I am going to guess we got into our first argument/fight around 6 months

What it was about? No clue

Post # 48
Member
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

@nolana:  We were around 6-7 months into the relationship. He definitely overreacted and I didn’t realize I was doing something that was angering him until he got really mad. Then my overreaction happened: I got really scared that having one argument meant were somehow incompatible. Um, no, I was tipsy and not reasoning properly. So we sat down, talked calmly, and resolved all the hurt feelings. We actually have pretty good conflict resolution skills for the most part, and I honestly think that is one of the things I love about our relationship. The fact that I know that we can talk through and resolve all our problems makes me feel so safe with him.

Anyway, here comes the interesting part:

I had told him I loved him a few weeks prior to this, and he had not reciprocated yet.

He says that during this argument was when he realized he loved me, so of course he decided to tell me right then and there.

I promptly responded with, “If you think saying that is going to get you out of this, you’ve got another thing coming, Mister!”

After we finished talking things out, my first priority was to make sure he said those three words because he truly meant it. And then we had a grand old time saying “I love you” to each other. ๐Ÿ™‚

@BrandNewBride:  OMG he had a photo of the ex in his room?!? That is just inappropriate!

ETA: Ohh, I can see how he might want to have a graduation photo up, but this is why people should always take a photo with the family and then a photo that includes the BF/GF. I’ve seen in some other threads people are sad about not being included in things such as photo, but I think that that’s the best compromise to give everyone options.

@megz06:  I’m glad he made a good choice in the end! You sound very mature. Our ‘arguments’ are generally frank discussions too.

Post # 49
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

6 months in? I can’t recall what it was about but that timing seems right. 

Post # 50
Member
4028 posts
Honey bee

@nolana:  I honestly cannot remember our first argument. We have been together for 10 1/2 years. We have only had maybe 5-6 actual arguments/fights in our entire relationship. We do disagree and bicker on occasion though.

Post # 51
Member
9087 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Shortly after I moved in. It was just a miscommunication of wants/needs/expectations on both our parts and it really wasn’t an argument, but a back and forth discussion.

We’e never had an angry argument. We always talk about what’s bothering us. Neither of us have ever yelled at one another.

Post # 52
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@nolana:  Our first real argument was right after our one year anniversary. However, we have discussions where we disagree weekly. We have never gotten into a fight though (no yelling, cussing, slamming doors, or walking off) 

Post # 53
Member
3370 posts
Sugar bee

@nolana:  Ours was our first date. Well, it was an argument, but it wasn’t. It started with him asking me to be his girlfriend. And then I said “Your girlfriend? We just met two days ago!” then it turned out that I was looking for a relationship and he was not. It ended with us having a discussion in his car after dinner where he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and I told him “You’re 25 years old, when are you gonna grow up?”, slammed the door shut and walked away. I think I was mostly just insulted that he thought I was gonna be a “fun date” kinda girl (if you get my drift).

Post # 54
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We’ve been together about 4 months and I’m still waiting on the first argument.  I think it might be a while.

Post # 55
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

I’m sure it was a few months of dating when sometimes your insecurity kicks in and you question who every person is on their Facebook Or who us calling etc. Ffw 7yrs and we are now married and expecting a baby, I really cannot remember when we last fought. 

Post # 56
Member
841 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@nolana:  I think it was like 6 months into our relationship? We don’t fight a lot though. We’ve had a handful of really huge blow up fights over the 3 years we’ve been together but we always work it out like right when it happens so I guess that’s a key part of why we’re still together ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 57
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It was probably within the first month of dating.

 

Post # 59
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee

Our first argument was after about 6 months of dating.  I experienced a really traumatic event and was really stressed as a result.  Our argument (as the majority of them are) was really a simple miscommunication, but because of my state of mind I took it as a personal attack.  He was, as he always is, amazing and understanding and it was easily resolved.  We’ve had our fair share of rough arguments, but we usually resolve them quickly and are able to learn from them.

Post # 60
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

We actually never fight. We’ve gotten angry with each other once and been in one big fight. 

If we’re in a bad mood, we generally won’t talk for an evening… which is uncomfortable and awkward, but honestly WAY better than fighting. 

Our first (and only so far) big fight was about 15 months after we started dating (and living together for 11 months). 

We had plans for my friends birthday and he came home and said “I’m going out for drinks with my friends!! END OF STORY”. 

*record scratch, music stops* WHAT?! I was PISSED. 

If he would have said “Do you mind if I go for drinks with my friends instead because X… and I meet up with you later?” I would have said, “Ugh, okay sure babe”

The end of story is what pissed me off. We lost it on each other and the gloves came out. He said some pretty mean stuff and I decided that fighting very rarely was probably  to our benefit, because woah, he was good at it. 

He ended up staying home alone. I went out with my friends. 

The next morning he left without saying goodbye and it was mid-evening that next day before things started to feel normal again.

Fast forward a month later almost the exact same situation happened again and I got annoyed but definitely didn’t want to go down the fight path again – so my lesson? If I have important plans that he shouldn’t be bailing on… I make it known with a MILLION reminders. 

Post # 61
Member
9134 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I can honestly say I don’t remember.  We don’t fight often and I don’t keep score so I have no idea when our first argument was.  I can say what I remember was our first political debate was about, gun control (he’s for it, I was against it.)  I remember it because it was the first time in a relationship that I felt I was arguing with someone who was just as intelligent as myself and even though we disagreed I felt that he was respectful of my opinion.

Our most recent debate was on the definition of “art”.  That was a fun one!

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