(Closed) When did you ask?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would first see how many BMs you can afford to have. I made the mistake of asking girls first before I knew how much anything costed and I was on a low budget. Think about the Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts you have to give, how far apart the girls are, what their schedules are like to get everyone together to pick out Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, go in for fittings, bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner and the wedding. That’s alot of time to spend and alot of commitment to spend for someone’s wedding.

Post # 19
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@chelseakayd:  It really really depends on who you’re asking. My plan now is to have my sister, my favorite cousin, my best friend of 20 years and one of my mission teammates (we’ve been close for 12 years now). I never have drama with any of these women except maybe my sister- but she’s my only sibling so she’s in my wedding no matter what! So I could confidently ask them 3 years ahead if I wanted to.

 I had a very dramatic friendship for almost 20 years but we “broke up” a couple years ago. If we were still friends when I got engaged I would probably wait to ask until just a few months out since lord knows where we’d be in our friendship 18 months later!

Post # 20
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My Maid/Matron of Honor knew when I told her I was engaged that she was going to be in the wedding. I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man a couple of weeks later after talking to Maid/Matron of Honor about it. It was a Destination Wedding for them so I wanted to make sure they had enough time to save money. 

SO wanted me to ask SIL to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man about a year after that but the dresses had already been ordered and I had already bought the jewelry for the girls so I didn’t. 

ETA: we originally had an 18 month engagement. We did a civil ceremony where neither Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridesmaid or Best Man were present (SIL and Brother-In-Law were our witnesses) but they’re still standing up in our big wedding. 



Post # 21
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

I already knew who my BM’s were going to be so I asked them 15 months out.  I asked them when I did because I wanted to invite them to our engagement party which is going to be family only and our bridal party, so I wanted them to know that they will officially have the title of “bridesmaid” or “groomsmen” for my FI’s party.

Post # 22
1083 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I asked my sisters a little under a year out. But I due know of a  bride who just got married this July who asked her bridesmaids almost two years before the wedding. 

Post # 23
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We’re not getting married for another two years, but I asked my brother’s girlfriend earlier this month, and will ask my FI’s sister when I see her next month. They both live in different states than Fiance and I, so we don’t see them too often.

My three best girlfriends already knew/it was assumed before Fiance and I were even engaged 😛

My besties (I’ve been friends with two since middle school and one since preschool) and FI’s sister aren’t going anywhere, but I’m not sure that I should have asked my brother’s gf so early. :-/

Post # 24
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I asked my sister around NYE (on the day of our wedding, it will be a year and a day to the date we got engaged) but asked her unofficially just after we got engaged. We had originally planned to wed in May 2014 so I asked two of the girls about a year to our first wedding date, and another one a couple of days beforehand. My cousin (the first to drop due to being extremely pregnant by wedding day) I asked around NYE as well, I think. I asked the girl taking my cousin’s place on her 21st birthday at the end of May. One of the other BMs dropped out because of reasons so I asked my other girl about a week ago. 🙂

Post # 25
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I knew who would be my bridemaids, so I asked right away… it was actually how I told them I was engaged. I slipped it in casually at the end of a phone conversation… oh by the way, huge favour to ask of you… wanna be my Bridesmaid or Best Man… cue screaming and happy tears!

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