(Closed) When did you asks people to be your attendants?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: When did you ask people to be your bridesmaids?
    Before selecting date and venue : (24 votes)
    57 %
    After selecting date and venue : (16 votes)
    38 %
    Other (explain below) : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    2111 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I asked them shortly after getting engaged but before the venue and date were set. I only had 2 BM’s and it was a really easy decision for me.

    Post # 4
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I just asked them, and then checked with them about the date once we had a venue/date in mind.

    Post # 6
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I asked after – but in quick succession.  We picked our venue/date about 2 weeks after getting engaged and asked our bridal party pretty quickly after that.

    Post # 7
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I asked them before, but we had it narrowed down to one of two cities and a range of about 4 months. With a year swing, I’d maybe figure that out first. You probably don’t want to ask someone 2 years in advance. 

    Post # 9
    13096 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    With your potential for the 2011 versus 2012 date still up in the air, I’d wait until you get that determined for sure.  I’d feel a little odd being asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man over 2 years out.

    We asked ours before but we had only a 10 month engagement and knew what month our wedding would be the second we got engaged.  It was just a matter of which of the 3 weekends in July it would be (b/c I would not consider the holiday weekend).

    Post # 10
    597 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’m really shy, so I waited to an appropriate time to ask them. However, we set the date way before we ever started planning(months ahead of time)…..we weren’t planning yet, so I didn’t bother asking anyone. When I got deeper into planning and picked reception venue(i already had church date set) thats when I asked my friend. My friend was already actling like she wanted to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man though: she wanted to go dress shopping and wanted to know the details, etc…:)

    good luck.

    Post # 11
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I asked mine right away; before I had the venue or the date nailed down, but I did have an idea of the date and venue. We were going to get married on 9/10/11, but found out we could save a ton of money by having it off season, so we chose 3/31/11.

    Post # 12
    5147 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I asked my bridesmaids right after we got engaged. (But my bridesmaids are my sister and my fiance’s sister, so I *know* they’re going to be there!)

    Post # 13
    98 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I found that it was a bit uncomfortable to talk about the different wedding venues appointments, ideas, etc, with my friends before I asked them to be in the wedding.  I’m sure they were wondering if I was going to ask them.  And I wanted them to know I wanted them to be a part of the wedding, so I made a point to ask them as soon as we figured out our wedding party,before we picked the date and venue.  I say if you know who you are going to ask, then just ask them. If they are that important to you to be a part of the wedding, they should make themselves available on the date.

    Post # 14
    297 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m with tritaratops on this one…. i wouldn’t want my friends waiting and wondering. I’d want them to be an active part of my excitement and planning. Mostly bc I value their opinions on things. When the wedding is still at least 6+ months away, that shoudl be plenty of time for them to get their schedule worked out to be a part of your big day.

    Post # 15
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think most of my attendants asked me, rather than the other way around! I have my 4 closest friends and they all knew they were in. If I had waited it would just have been awkward. Plus, some of them were really helpful when it came down to choosing between two venues.

    Post # 16
    1518 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man right away. By the time we had an engagement party we were taking a Bridesmaid or Best Man picture 😉 And we had a longer engagement (1.5 yrs). 


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