Post # 62
We talked about it being “our money” when we got engaged, and then more when I moved in, but it didn’t really start to feel like “our money” until after the wedding when we started combining accounts. When my paycheck started going into the joint checking account, then that account felt like “our money” to me. Until that point, it felt like his money.
We’re still working toward “our money” but we’re only about 6 weeks married. I do think it will take a while, especially for us since we are both older and established and have savings and investments and stuff. Especially for me as I’ve never been married and always did everything on my own before.
Post # 63
When we moved in together, it was “our money”, just separate accounts.
Post # 64
Wow, reading all the responses was very eye-opening. I definitely don’t expect or want my BF to help me with my financial obligations. I refuse to be one of those women who expect their SO to pay for everything and not contribute one cent.
If the situation was reversed, I would gladly give or loan him money but I know he’d be more comfortable with a loan. He’s not ready yet to consider it “our” money and that’s okay.
I think I figured out what was bothering me. We are very serious about each other and we have decided to get married one day. We are not engaged yet but it’s just a matter of time.
And in the past few weeks, we have talked about opening up a joint savings account for when we move in together in January. The savings account will mainly be for moving expenses.
So because of the fact that we’re moving in together soon and the joint savings account, I have sort of begun to think of it as our money. And I think that’s what was bothering me. He hasn’t started to think of it that way.
But you know what? After reflecting on this, I am okay with keeping our finances separate for now. Maybe we’ll talk about it in January but if he’s not ready then either, that’s okay.
Thank you ladies for replying. I thought I was going to get vilified but I’m happy to see that’s not the case. Thank you 🙂
Post # 65
As we just got our joint checking account (already had a joint savings account), now I *really* think it as our money.