When did you consider yourself engaged?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
3486 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I didn’t consider us to be engaged until after he proposed with a ring. But I think when some bees have set a date or put a deposit on a venue before a proposal, the proposal itself is kind of superfluous at that point. When DH proposed we didn’t have any plans made, and only afterwards discussed a general timeline of when to get married. 

Post # 3
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2020

The ring, because before that it was spoken about and planned to happen but I didn’t tell family or friends until the ring 

Post # 4
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I thought of myself as engaged when he answered “yes” to my question if he wanted to marry me. We’d already mostly settled on a location and a season but that – to my mind – didn’t make us engaged.

Post # 5
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I personally think engagement is when you have mutually made the decision to get married at some point and are imminently going to plan a wedding. We waited a long time to get a ring because we wanted to wait till we felt ready to actually plan the wedding. So for a few years we have been as good as engaged, as we have always known we would get married at some point. But for us the ring was the formality that made it official that wedding planning was imminent now. Hope that makes sense.

Post # 6
256 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
jscjsc :  I didnt consider myself engaged until he proposed, but we had talked about our timeline before that. The only time I’ve told other bees they are already engaged is when they post threads about how they are making the guest list, picked out a venue, and or set a date and “cant wait until he proposes so we’ll be engaged.” Its one thing to discuss a timeline and and another to literally be planning your wedding before he proposes.

Post # 7
1814 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

I didn’t consider myself engaged until I had athe ring and he proposed, but I also have friends that for married without an engagement ring.

Post # 8
3664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We considered ourselves engaged when we decided we wanted to get married. There was no proposal (we talked about it and agreed we were ready to get married and started planning), and I didn’t bother getting a ring until 5 months before the wedding- long after almost everything had been booked, family and friends were notified, and STDs went out. I’d already had my dress for 4 months before we got the ring. While I wanted one and eventually got one, it just wasn’t THAT important.

Post # 9
4887 posts
Honey bee

We bought the ring about a year ago, but due to a situation we had to wait until June to make it official.

So we were unofficially engaged in January and officially enagaged in June.

Post # 10
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2019 - City, State

When he proposed. The ring actually got delayed in shipping because he’d ordered it from Ireland and the shop shut down for the holidays, but it was important to him to propose on a sentimental date, so he had me go get an older ring that I have, and proposed to me with it. Then we announced it. The ring arrived a few weeks later and he re-proposed with it, but the cat was way out of the bag by then! Lol.

Post # 11
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
jscjsc :  I considered myself unofficially engaged when we started planning the wedding and officially engaged when he proposed with a ring. The only reason there was a gap between the two because he was really into doing a proposal with a ring and he didn’t want it to be a cheap ring and he knew I was not okay with him taking a loan for it so he was saving up to get it.

Backstory: Even before we met on our first date, both of us had intentions to get married eventually if all went well. He introduced me to his parents after a month or so and I introduced him to mine after 6 months. I guess that’s when having a wedding became more of a reality. Until then, we were happy to just do the legal formalities as we were already living together.

Post # 12
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

We had a mutual conversation about getting married, then decided on a timeline. He proposed with a key ring, because he knew I’d want to pick my own ring and didn’t want to spend money in a cheap ring, then we went ring shopping a few days later.

Post # 13
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Internally, I considered myself engaged when we for sure decided that we would get married and were choosing a ring together.

To the outside world, I was engaged after he proposed and I was wearing the ring!

Post # 14
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Once I had my ring I was engaged officially. If he had proposed without it though I still would have been officially engaged. It’s just he did do it with a ring so for us that is when it happened. I think it really is up to the couple. My last one I had to buy myself a ring and all we had was a I want to marry you conversation. I think maybe he did say the words will you marry me but honestly after over a decade I really don’t remember anymore. After that we were engaged


Post # 15
677 posts
Busy bee

When he proposed.

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