(Closed) When did you decide? Putting pressure on yourself?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
3247 posts
Sugar bee

We decided to TTC when we could no longer imagine our lives without little people. 

If that’s right after the wedding for you, then start right away!

Good luck. Fingers crossed your TTC journey isn’t a long one!

Post # 3
949 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
katie62018 :  It sounds like you and your Fiance really want a family, so I don’t see any harm in starting TTC as soon as you want to. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, sometimes it takes time. 

We also toggled between when is the right time. We didn’t have any medical issues, but we live in an expensive city, owning property before 40 is difficult, and we didn’t know if we should have a baby until we had acheived “X” in our carreers. Ultimately age caught up with us and we decided we should start trying. Even now I still question the timing – LOL! It never ends. 

Good luck!


Post # 4
2163 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We discussed TTC before we got married and d.h. wanted to TTC right away but I wanted to give it a bit so we agreed to wait a year (but didn’t last that long).

IMO if you feel like you’re putting pressure on yourself, as I did, maybe give yourself a little bit of time? I can’t imagine TTC is any less stressful than it can be if you’re putting pressure on yourself.

Post # 5
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Why do you think “you’re putting too much pressure on yourself”?  What does that mean?  Does it mean that you’d prefer to wait, but you feel like you need to start now? 

It’s true that with your medical issues, it’d be better to do it sooner rather than later.  But on the other hand, you’re only 30.  I don’t see that starting immediately versus waiting for 6 months or a year would make a huge difference.  Obviously you’d want a medical opinion or two on that, though.

For us, we did feel a lot of pressure due to our ages (35.5 and 45 when we started TTC).  There were other reasons that, all things being equal, we would have preferred to wait for another 6 months or so.  But we want a couple kids, and we’re very very happy and good together, and our finances were ready for a kid… so we started.  I’m due in 4 months and we’re both super psyched that it’s happening!  

I don’t think anyone every feels *completely* ready.  But if the thought of TTC right after your wedding is freaking you out, don’t force it.

Post # 6
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We ttc’d right after getting married and conceived right away. We were a bit shocked because of age (at the time, he was 37 and I was 35), and because I had spent the months prior to our wedding having a bunch of thyroid and gyno issues. We figured it would take a few months.  I have relatively ok thyroid levels, but a large gland, and I also had horrible cramps and flow. My gyno couldnt find a cause beyond a small fibroid, but all of this made me nervous so we decided to ttc right away.   I understand the pressure! 

If you didn’t have endometriosis,  I would say that there is no harm to waiting.  I would follow drs advice since you do have it, and if you feel rushed you can get a 2nd medical opinion.  I would also like to echo pp – you never really feel ready.  My dh said he didn’t realize we were having a baby until I was at the hospital in labor, lol.

Post # 8
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

I don’t want to stress you out but I figured you might want to hear from someone who actually had issues getting pregnant.  I started trying at 27.  Four years later I had my daughter.  We kept trying.  At age 41 I had to make the decision to stop trying because my health was getting bad enough that a pregnancy would have been a bad idea, if it even ever happened.

I would suggest waiting if you feel you would regret it if you got pregnant right away.  Otherwise get on it and then get to a doctor if nothing has happened in 6 months.  Not all infertility stories have a happy ending.

Post # 9
7422 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you’re this stressed about it, why not hold off for a few months after the wedding? Even just waiting 3-4 months might make you feel more relaxed and settled as a married couple, and that short of a time period isn’t gonna make a difference in your fertility. We got married last May and started TTC in October, so we had about four months of “not thinkng about it,” which in retrospect was really nice. 

Honestly, TTC is effing draining for people who don’t conceive right away, or who experience losses, so I would hope for the best but at the same time steel yourself for a potentially bumpy ride. The slog of the cycles can become all-consuming, especially if you have health issues. I feel like by giving yourself a few months to enjoy that newlywed bliss and just have fun as a married couple without thinking about TTC, you might feel more prepared to dive in after that. 

Post # 10
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

View original reply
tiffanybruiser :  I agree with waiting a few months. I was ready to start TTC as soon as we were married, but in hindsight (or whatever hindsight is possible in 5 months!) I’m glad that we waited. Married life is pretty awesome, and it’s nice to enjoy it for a few months without any additional pressure. Plus a few month wait gives you a chance to observe your body and have a better understanding of your cycle for when you do start trying. Good luck!

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