(Closed) When did you decide was the right time to have a baby?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

That is SO sweet how excited your Fiance is to have a baby once you guys get married. Sounds like he’s going to be a great dad!

We’ll hit our two-year wedding anniversary this summer (and eight years of being together) but we’re still not ready yet! I’m not sure how we’ll decide when the time’s right, but I know it’s not here yet.

Post # 4
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s a sweet thing of him to say. ๐Ÿ™‚ We aren’t TTC yet, but I imagine when the time is right, we’ll know. There are a few factors we are considering right now.

Post # 5
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s so lovely that your Fiance has been bitten by the baby bug! I think if you are feeling reasonably secure financially, and you have a home that will accomodate a child, and your relationship is a healthy, stable place of communication, cooperation and love, you are probably in a great place to start a family. I don’t think there is any magical time to wait after marriage, especially if you started living together before marriage. My husband and I started TTC and I got pregnant just before our wedding, and we are very happy with that decision. He was also totally on board to start a family, which was such a lovely change from boyfriends I’d had in the past who thought I was crazy to want kids in my 20s. He is also more than 10 years older than me though, so that probably has a lot to do with it. He’s been wanting kids for a long time, and I was more than happy to oblige ๐Ÿ™‚ We were both just so excited to start our family. We have enough money for the things we need, we just bought a house, and I feel very loved and secure in our relationship. So, with all those ducks in a row and our wedding about to happen, we went for it!

Post # 6
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We got pregnant a month after we got married. My doc suspected that I may have endometriosis and said I should start trying. He had been married previously and they weren’t able to have kids. So we both thought it would take forever to get pregnant. But it happened on our first try. Surprised, scared, excited would be all of the emotions that went along with it. Before we TTC we had talked about if there was ever going to be a right time. We came to the conclusion no. We’d never have enough money, never have a big enough place etc. So we just said no time like the present. We do have enough to support a child. It will be tight but people have been raising children on less for years. We live in an apartment but we have an extra room that we are setting up for her. Now we’re just waiting for her to get here. Some people have often said, “That was fast!” But you know what? It was the right speed for us.

Post # 7
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We are also getting married in June, and decided to TTC on the honeymoon. I’m 31 and my Fiance is 33 . I can’t beleive it as I type, and I”m so excited. So much to look forward too. We already have our baby names picked out and are just patiently waiting for June to get here. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 8
Member
12249 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We’re also TTC on the honeymoon!

Fiance and I both love kids so much! And my career is working with infants! So I’m so ready to stop taking care of everyone else’s babies and to start taking care of my own!

Post # 9
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We most likely will be migrating in the next year and a half so we’re thinking of TTC from around June. I really want the family support for our first pregnancy.  We’re moving many miles away to a different continent and will know absolutely no one!  I can’t imagine going through all these changes in an unfamiliar environment. 

Post # 10
Member
1319 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We’ve been married for just over a year, and were planning on waiting until our second anniversary (January) to start TTC. Now we’re feeling more like we’ll wait until that spring. Just a few more months. Hahaha. We’re not ready yet, but I’m getting the fever, and he wants to have them sooner than later. We know you’re never totally ready, but financially, we’re in a decent position. We figure once we want a baby enough to think it’s worth giving up sleeping until noon on Saturday, we’ll be there. Hahaha. Kinda a joke, but not entirely.

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

When we found out we were unexpectedly pregnant! We’d been married about 2 months when we found out. Now, she’s almost 3 months old, and it turns out that it was the right time for us.

You’re never really completely ready so just do it when the mood strikes you… and you never know… your family planning may not work out the way your expected!

I’m very much of the marriage and babies are cornerstones not capstones opinion. We’ve gotten so much support from family and friends to prepare for our baby and so much support now that we have her. It takes a community. Our combined income is about $35k and we pay almost half that a year in rent and car payment alone (for the one car we share). After food, student loan payments, gas, electricity, cell phone, and internet (no cable), there’s not too much left, but we’re doing just fine.

Post # 12
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We aren’t married yet, will be married in a year and a half.  I’m going back to school this september and will be finished next summer and getting married the october after that.  Our plan has tentatively been to start TTC once we both have secure jobs, stable income, and a decent place to live (as in, not a basement apartment!)  Currently we live with my parents, but that should change soon.

However, lately I’ve been having enough anxiety just about getting married!!! When I think about babies I’m either super excited, or terrified.  So I would like to feel a bit more comfortable with the notion of motherhood before we TTC.

I’ve ALWAYS wanted babies, just now that it’s getting closer, it’s getting scary!!  I figure when the time is right, we’ll know.

Post # 13
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We never really set a timeline for TTC.  We’d been together 9 years when we got married, living together for almost all of that time, but it didn’t really feel like the right time until around the wedding.  At that point we wanted to make sure we were ready financially so that wouldn’t be a huge stress, I mean it still will be somewhat but at least we have a plan, so we set a savings goal and once we met that we were going to start trying.  We met that goal 2 months ago and have started TTC, about 11 months after we got married.

Post # 14
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We’re getting married September 2014, I’ll probably go off the pill after the wedding and actively start trying around the end of the year. I’m 23 and Fiance turns 25 in two weeks, but we’ve been together 6 years and lived together for 4.5 years. 

Post # 15
Member
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We have been having a lot of baby talk lately too. Also my Fiance is 4 years older than me. I even drew up a little chart of our ages and Baby Lala’s age if we have a baby in 1 year, in 2 years, etc. But I guess neither of us wants to jump the gun (since we’re not actually getting married for 4 more months) and I think we’re just tossing the idea around to get comfortable with it.

Neither of us will be direct with it which I find slightly funny. Like, we’ll talk about our future child, we have jokingly made names & plans for them. I think we know we’re not totally ready, but we’re getting there. I just know you can’t be 100% ready, so I’m wondering how ready is ready enough? 

Post # 16
Member
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The 1st time just kinda happened. I was on the pill. This go around we were talking and then he was like hey lets have another baby and I was like okay. We really didn’t put much thought into it although I did agree so fast because I thought it would take us a while to get pregnant. I  was wrong lol

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