(Closed) When did you get engaged/married in relation to your social group?

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: When did you get married in relation to your social group?
    We got engaged/married before most of our friends. : (91 votes)
    43 %
    We got engaged/married right around the same time as most of our friends. : (54 votes)
    25 %
    We got engaged/married after most of our friends were already married. : (45 votes)
    21 %
    Other- explain. : (22 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    5226 posts
    Bee Keeper

    swonderful:  The decision to marry is a personal choice that should not be decided based on what everyone else thinks about it. I didn’t marry untill I was 30, but it was a quick engagement, and everyone was negative about it. In the end, we did what was best for us.

    I was the last of my friends to get married. It can be a lonely and make you feel like you are the “odd man out.” 

    Post # 3
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Right in the middle or even a little early for me — I was 32. Husband was late but not terribly so at 39. Our friends and family all get married late, I guess!

    Post # 4
    3552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    My husband and I are the first of our friend group to get married (we’re 24, 25 next month). One other couple is currently engaged.


    In terms of where we are relative to our high school class, I’d say we’re more towards the middle of the pack. Our graduating class is getting married young.

    Post # 5
    11658 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    swonderful:  With our mutual friends, we’ve been together 2nd longest and married last.

    Of my friends from childhood, we’ve been together longest and married last

    Of his childhood friends, he’s the only one in a relationship and we’re married first (his friends belong in a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie…)

    Post # 6
    1531 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We were the first of our group of friends to get married by over a year.  We got engaged in May 2012 and married in May 2013.  Alot of my friends got engaged in late 2013 – and got (or are getting) married this year! 

    Post # 7
    5167 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    swonderful:  I don’t really have a distinct friend group but basing it off of my facebook friends, we are about in the middle. We will be 26 and 31. It really varies depending on when I knew the people and what they did after high school. I come from a small town and many people stayed around after graduation, many of these people were married in their early 20s. I went to a big city for college and most of the people I met there are not married yet. In my graduate program, there is a mix of married and single people, though the ages vary quite a bit as well. 

    Post # 8
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    i got engaged second. and was suppose to be married first. but my friend who was engaged first HAD to change her date like 2 months before my wedding (hers was suppose to be a month after mine but ended up being 2 weeks before!) that was 5 years ago and then our mutual friend just got married 2 months ago; she was a little late to the game. otherwise all my other friends were a year or 2 after my wedding 

    Post # 9
    1678 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    swonderful:  we were some of the last – and i am definitely one of the last out of my lady friends. we met when i was 30 and he was 36, and this may we married at 33 and 39. we live in charlotte, nc…so not super southern, but southern enough for it to be more than common to marry in your 20s. we just hadn’t found each other yet when we were in our 20s 😉

    Post # 10
    3037 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

    I’d say we are right around the same time / in the middle of our friend group. The first ones got married 2 (or maybe it’s been 3 already?) years ago. 2 last year. Us this year. We have at least 1 more couple friend who should be getting engaged within the next year (at least that was the timeline her bf told her). The friends who haven’t gotten married yet (for the most part) aren’t really dating anyone.  Oh we will be 28 and 26 when we get married.

    • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  amberback.
    Post # 11
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We got married at about the same age as a lot of our friends and cousins.  The year we got married (2012), we actually were invited to ELEVEN weddings between June and November!  We also went to 6 last year, and only 1 this year.  We got married at 27/26 – I’m older.  So it was pretty typical timing for our friend group.  Since then, we’ve moved to a much smaller town where it’s typical to get married at 22-24 and start popping out kids immediately.  So ALL of our friends here have 1-3 kids already.  It’s kind of hard to get used to – we can’t invite someone out last minute, we have to plan ahead so they have time to find a babysitter.  I think this caused me to get baby fever earlier than I otherwise would have, but I made myself stay rational about it and wait til we were actually ready.  It’s really hard to keep your head on straight sometimes and not be influenced by your friends! 

    Post # 12
    594 posts
    Busy bee

    swonderful:  We got engaged years after most of our friends. I’m 23, my partner is 34, and most of our friends are in their 30s. Waiting was so, so hard for me. I felt like our relationship was less “legit” than those around us.

    I’ve seen some of the anti-marriage-in-your-20s stuff you’ve talked about, and it’s so frustrating to me. I remember one of our friends (who was one of the first in the group to marry) talking about how he and his wife pretty much got heckled for their decision to get married. They were 28/29, so it seems crazy that people would think they were too young!

    I wonder if it’s because so many people assume marriage = babies? We’re childfree by choice, so I see no reason not to get married when I’m in my 20s! I’m happy to marry early. It’s awesome that I’ll get to grow and develop as a person with my partnerrather than despite him, which so many people seem to think.

    Post # 13
    8861 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    near last in DH’s circle, middle of pack in my circle.

    Post # 14
    398 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club

    In my group of friends, it was late; they were typically 21-23 when getting engaged, I was 27.  For FI’s group for friends, he was super late… again, 21-23 but he was 38.  We joke that he had to wait for me to be old enough and get “it out of my system” before he found me.  It’s round two for both of us though (no marriages from the first engagements). 

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