Post # 1
Okay bees, I know we’ve all been in that position – someone, or a lot of people, are giving you advice every chance they get. When did you finally reach your breaking point with it?
We’re just under 6 months out now, and while on the outside I’m giving the polite “that decision has already been made, but thank you!” – the inside is a lot less polite. It’s driving me crazy!!
How did you cope with the advice giving?
Post # 3
The more you talk about it the more people think you are looking for opinions or input. At 6 months out I as hardly talking wedding talk with anyone besides those on a need to know basis. I would politley answer the question and change the subject, especially when you have 6 months left in planning you will go crazy. Keep things between you and Fiance for now and it will save you a ton of patience.
Post # 4
The month before the wedding I was sooo over it all! Between what I should do or should have done! I was sick of the damn what to do in a Marriage conversation…
Post # 5
Thankfully, not many people gave me unsolicited advice because I tried not to talk about the wedding (that’s what these boards are for!). I’d say that’s the best way to prevent the advice.
@ieatunicorns: I pretty much agree with this.
Post # 6
Are you getting unsolicited advise or people just making conversation?
If someone told me they’re getting married I’d probably congratulate them and ask questions. If I happen to refleck on my own wedding or something I encountered while planning I would think I’m just making conversation.
Post # 7
@Ill Be Mrs B: It’s been a lot of unsolicited advice. For example, Future Sister-In-Law has a friend that we don’t get along with, but always wants to pass along advice. She passed along the info that we really should serve alcohol (at the time we were unsure) because if not, people may not come. This is one of those things that we’ve considered, and didn’t care about! Alcohol is not the point of the wedding. So it’s definitely unsolicited advice, not conversation, haha.
Post # 8
I wish people wanted to talk about my weding with me. :/ I always feel like no one cares
Post # 9
To be honest I never really got a lot of advice from people unless I asked. Overall people were great at listening and asking questions without pushing.
I think most people knew I was pretty on top of things and that most had already been taken care of so perhaps they knew their advice was pointless? Even my Mother-In-Law held back a great deal compared to my SIL and BIL’s wedding. She had LOADS to suggest for that wedding and very little for ours.
Post # 10
@Miss Otter: I agree… just stop talking about the aspects of the wedding really and they won’t be able to comment/offer adivice.
I stopped talking about the wedding to people other than my parents and my guy about 4 months out because it was just getting too insane with everyone giving their 2 cents.
I actually also stopped posting on the boards really because my mind was so cluttered and would get drawn to other things on here and my to-do list was getting longer and I just needed to FOCUS on what I already had planned with a “keep calm & carry on” mentality…
People might think you’re being protective or secretive of your plans and get a little funny about how you’re no dishing on all the details so give light tidbits here and there if you must (I had to! I have too many nosey nellies in my life! haha)
I started to get really vague tho and give the air that I didn’t really want to talk about it all because I wanted/needed a break and that helped people back off and not offer opinions too lol
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
My FI’s aunt kept on telling me that I should have my dress custom made, because otherwise I would never ever find a dress and you know what, it should be yellow. Because she always wanted a yellow dress!
I mean really?!
Post # 12
A friend gave me the BEST advice. She said just SMILE, say “Thank you”, and something like: that’s an interesting idea… or, I’ll take that into consideration… or, nothing at all…..
I turned it into a game for myself and worked on not taking it personally (meaning, their idea was NOT about hating my idea – it was just expressing their excitement/idea!).
Post # 13
I tried to stop talking about the wedding, and it seems as though that’s all people want to discuss with me! Every time I see people, that is ALL they ask me about! Thankfully, I’m only 8 days out so that will stop pretty soon!
Post # 14
By the day of the engagement.
The side that isn’t paying for anything always has the ideas. Let’s just say we smile, thank them for offering the ideas, and do what we want.
Post # 15
I consider myself very decisive, so when the opinions started (immediately after the engagement) I was already over it!!
Post # 16
I get tired of hearing any advice as I don’t enjoy planning or talking about the planning. But if it wasn’t for the advice of others (and doing) then NOTHING would be happening lol. Except the rings. I like rings.