(Closed) When did you get your wedding gifts?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m in the south where not many people give wedding gifts. Instead, they give you a nice shower gift or give you something before the wedding. It’s actually considered rude by some to bring a gift to the actual wedding down here. Sorry I can’t be of more help. 

Post # 3
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve already started getting wedding gifts and my wedding is still 3+ months out, and invites haven’t gone out yet!! So you never know. I’m hoping people dont bring gifts to the wedding, I’ll have to ship them all home!!

Post # 4
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

We got probably about half before the wedding (mostly in the last couple weeks, really), but a good handful did bring boxed gifts to the wedding itself, which we opened after the honeymoon; another significant portion brought cards with checks/money/gift cards to the event (surprisingly very few people sent their cards beforehand).

And yes, there are a few who didn’t get us gifts. Maybe they will in the future, maybe they won’t. I don’t plan on worrying about it- there’s absolutely no polite way to bring it up, and it’s not worth damaging a friendship. 

Post # 5
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m going to go with if its a month after the wedding, you shouldn’t hold your breath for it. While I know that you expect reciprocity because you’ve given good gifts, just keep in mind that a gift cannot be expected (because gifts are never mandatory, and because holding a grudge is damaging).

Despite this I do feel it is rude not to at minimum give the couple a card or such a token letting the bride and groom know you appreciate them. I would never show up at any party without doing this, wedding or not. 

Post # 6
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
wombella2016:  Yeah, your guests probably aren’t going to send anything. It can be frustrating, but some people don’t feel the need to give gifts.

If it’s useful, here was our breakdown: We invited 70 family units (either single, couples or families), with about 50 attending. Of those who were invited and didn’t attend, about half sent a gift before the wedding. One sent a gift 5 months after. Of those that attended, I’d guess about 10 sent gifts before the wedding, 25 brought gifts to the wedding (physical or monetary), and 5 mailed a gift within 2 months of the wedding. The other 10 or so chose not to give us a gift or card.

Post # 7
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I would think if you dont get anything by the wedding you arent’ going to get anything at all…

We didnt get a single thing after our wedding and I wasn’t expecting it.

Post # 8
Member
4743 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We got all ours before or at the wedding – none came after…

Post # 9
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
wombella2016:  We started receiving gifts (mailed directly to us from the registry) three months before the wedding and I think the last one came three weeks after. Only a couple gifts came after the wedding though and I was honestly shocked when they showed up. I didn’t think people actually did that. 

I’d say it’s not likely half your guests are waiting more than a month to send gifts. You’re gonna have to just shrug it off. 

Post # 10
Member
4008 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

We didn’t receive any gifts after the wedding. They all came before in the mail, at showers, or at the actual wedding. 

Post # 12
Hostess
1707 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think we got a couple of gifts right after the wedding, and one like 6 months after. Otherwise, all came before, either in the mail or at a shower. 

Post # 13
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
wombella2016:  

WOW – I can’t imagine attending and not bringing a gift or card with a check!! 

You sound like an awesome, considerate, generous friend – I am sorry people aren’t treating you in kind…I suspect that is what bothers you more than the actual “gifts”

 

Post # 14
Member
2191 posts
Buzzing bee

Any chance you are financially well off or people think you are?  The only time I didn’t bring a gift the couple were literally tech boom millionaires.  I had to travel and rent a car, etc. for the wedding.  I felt guilty though and sent a fancy bottle of champagne for their one year anniversary.

Post # 15
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
ct2015 :  agree! 

View original reply
wombella2016 : We also didn’t receive gifts from a lot of guests.  It’s kinda disappointing to know that people do not care at all to at least write a card and show some intent in some way. I also know that a lot of our guests are well off and even $50 wouldn’t hurt them at all but would obviously help us a lot with the expenses if even just 15 people gave that amount. 

I know you can’t expect gifts, but I would NEVER go anywhere without a gift. 

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