Post # 1
My wedding was a month ago, and we still haven’t gotten gifts from about half of our guests. I would like to think that most of these people are just taking their time, but I can’t help being a little pissed if the gifts never come. Many of the people who haven’t sent anything recieved very nice gifts from us.
Do people really wait a year– or am I old school in thinking you should give a gift?
Post # 2
I’m in the south where not many people give wedding gifts. Instead, they give you a nice shower gift or give you something before the wedding. It’s actually considered rude by some to bring a gift to the actual wedding down here. Sorry I can’t be of more help.
Post # 3
I’ve already started getting wedding gifts and my wedding is still 3+ months out, and invites haven’t gone out yet!! So you never know. I’m hoping people dont bring gifts to the wedding, I’ll have to ship them all home!!
Post # 4
We got probably about half before the wedding (mostly in the last couple weeks, really), but a good handful did bring boxed gifts to the wedding itself, which we opened after the honeymoon; another significant portion brought cards with checks/money/gift cards to the event (surprisingly very few people sent their cards beforehand).
And yes, there are a few who didn’t get us gifts. Maybe they will in the future, maybe they won’t. I don’t plan on worrying about it- there’s absolutely no polite way to bring it up, and it’s not worth damaging a friendship.
Post # 5
I’m going to go with if its a month after the wedding, you shouldn’t hold your breath for it. While I know that you expect reciprocity because you’ve given good gifts, just keep in mind that a gift cannot be expected (because gifts are never mandatory, and because holding a grudge is damaging).
Despite this I do feel it is rude not to at minimum give the couple a card or such a token letting the bride and groom know you appreciate them. I would never show up at any party without doing this, wedding or not.
Post # 6
Yeah, your guests probably aren’t going to send anything. It can be frustrating, but some people don’t feel the need to give gifts.
If it’s useful, here was our breakdown: We invited 70 family units (either single, couples or families), with about 50 attending. Of those who were invited and didn’t attend, about half sent a gift before the wedding. One sent a gift 5 months after. Of those that attended, I’d guess about 10 sent gifts before the wedding, 25 brought gifts to the wedding (physical or monetary), and 5 mailed a gift within 2 months of the wedding. The other 10 or so chose not to give us a gift or card.
Post # 7
I would think if you dont get anything by the wedding you arent’ going to get anything at all…
We didnt get a single thing after our wedding and I wasn’t expecting it.
Post # 8
We got all ours before or at the wedding – none came after…
Post # 9
We started receiving gifts (mailed directly to us from the registry) three months before the wedding and I think the last one came three weeks after. Only a couple gifts came after the wedding though and I was honestly shocked when they showed up. I didn’t think people actually did that.
I’d say it’s not likely half your guests are waiting more than a month to send gifts. You’re gonna have to just shrug it off.
Post # 10
We didn’t receive any gifts after the wedding. They all came before in the mail, at showers, or at the actual wedding.
Post # 11
Thanks everyone. We didn’t have a shower and only a few people brought gifts to the wedding.
Obvs, I can live without the things I registered for– but it is disapointing beacuse I always send nice gifts even when I can’t attend the wedding. I also send care packages when people have babies and offer to buy drinks or send flowers on birthdays. I don’t know that I will stop doing that— God knows I also send about 4 holiday cards for each one I get, but I enjoy it.
Post # 12
I think we got a couple of gifts right after the wedding, and one like 6 months after. Otherwise, all came before, either in the mail or at a shower.
Post # 13
WOW – I can’t imagine attending and not bringing a gift or card with a check!!
You sound like an awesome, considerate, generous friend – I am sorry people aren’t treating you in kind…I suspect that is what bothers you more than the actual “gifts”
Post # 14
Any chance you are financially well off or people think you are? The only time I didn’t bring a gift the couple were literally tech boom millionaires. I had to travel and rent a car, etc. for the wedding. I felt guilty though and sent a fancy bottle of champagne for their one year anniversary.
Post # 15
We also didn’t receive gifts from a lot of guests. It’s kinda disappointing to know that people do not care at all to at least write a card and show some intent in some way. I also know that a lot of our guests are well off and even $50 wouldn’t hurt them at all but would obviously help us a lot with the expenses if even just 15 people gave that amount.
I know you can’t expect gifts, but I would NEVER go anywhere without a gift.