Post # 1
How did you know you were ready to try for a baby?
I (30) + Darling Husband (31) really want a a child, and he’s completley ready. We’ve been together 9 years, but I’m so scared, all the unknowns and labor, and would I be a good a parent, morning sickness and labor! Everyone I know complains a lot about their children and that terrifies me.
Did you have any signs or how did you make the decision to start TTC? Was it just a feeling that it was the right time? I feel completely baby crazy most days and it’s all I think about. I’m scared though and don’t know how to just decide. I’m also terrified of waiting too long and regretting it. Thanks bees!
Post # 2
I was ready for a new chapter in life. My old self was getting boring even to myself. Don’t worry, pregnancy, labor…. don’t last forever.
Please don’t let unknown fear controls you, in anything.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I knew I was ready when I had accomplished all of the major milestones I’d hope to by this stage in my life.
Yes, there’s always going to be one more vacation we could take, and there’s certianly always gonig to be the fear that something will go wrong, that pregnancy and labor will be miserable, but those fears (and potential complictions) are temporary. I’ve always known I wanted children, so it’s just a matter of when and I no longer had a concrete reason for saying “not yet”.
Darling Husband and I sat back and evaluated every way our lives would change both the good and the bad, and ultimately, we decided the good outweighed the possible bad, so we went for it.
Many frustrating months and 2 cycles of fertility meds later, we are expecting our first in January and couldn’t be happier. Yes, pregnancy sucks, and I haven’t made it more than a day in the past 17 weeks without needing to take at least one dose of tums and my boobs are the size of small cantalopes (and before long will be the size of BIG cantalopes!)… but there’s a PERSON growing inside of me! And that makes it all worth the discomfort.
Post # 4
cherryberrypie: Thank you so much for saying that.
Post # 5
juliette.eliza: Thank you and Congratulations! I wish the very best for you. Deep down I really feel it will be the most exciting time in my life. I’m just the most indecisive person and I have such a hard time deciding big life changes.
Post # 6
We knew that if we kept waiting until we felt ready, it would never happen. But, both of us are done with school, have good jobs and a nice house, I’m 25 and he’s 35, so at some point you just have to go all in! I don’t know if anyone is ever truly ready, it’s going to be new territory either way.
Post # 7
We were ready after we paid off all debt, bought a house, and traveled the world. those were the “must have done” before we TTC. Everyone’s different though!
Post # 8
avarose: I knew I wanted to TTC for a long time and just needed to get married and my life all set in order to do so. I’ve been trying to get into nursing school for the past few years, but I just haven’t been able to because it’s just so competitive to get in. After finding out I didn’t get in again, and getting married this past June, I knew we had to start right away. I can’t afford to keeping putting it off at my age (I just turned 34) because of school. I HAVE to have kids. I can’t imagine my life without having any.
What worries me is that my sister tried for years to get pregnant and even tried IVF, but after her second round of IVF, the doctor said her only option was surrogacy or adoption. So, I’m worried that I’m going to have a hard time TTC. We started immediately after getting married. I didn’t get pregnant the first month. I really hope I get pregnant soon. I always try to tell people I know to start as soon as they can because you never know if you’ll have problems or not.
Post # 9
I didn’t. My husband has been ready since we got married, but I have been so slow about it. In the end, I wound up reviewing my “worries/concerns” with some friends and they pointed out that my fears were ones that would always be there (e.g., being a bad mom, the pain of delivery, loss of identity). We had all the other things that we could control ready to go (married, house, good jobs, no debt but our house, sufficient savings). So, I just decided to be ready. Once I made that decision, it took a couple of days, but then everything just started clicking and I really REALLY became ready. But, it didn’t just happen for me — I had to make the choice before I emotionally was ready if that makes any sense at all.
Post # 10
I think it’s only natural to have those worries… then again I hope it is since those are my worries too. I know it’s different for everyone but for us once we got settled in our house, had been married for a couple years, and had travelled we were ready. Although we didn’t travel as much as we would have liked but on the last trip the biological clock started ticking and baby brain is now in full motion. Sure, I still have those worries and more and I’m sure that some may never go away but I am more comfortable with the idea/decision than I ever have been. All I think about now is my future child(ren) whereas months ago I was too selfish to think about dividing my time. Now the worries and fears means nothing if at the end of the day my future child(ren) are happy and healthy. Plus, the time will never be “just right” so I think why not just jump now and grow wings on the way.
Post # 11
I agree with PP’s about it being normal to feel unsure. Before we started TTC I went from wanting to, to being unsure daily. I realized that I was really really scared of the things that you had mentioned and that I couldn’t let the fear stop me. I feel like once we are pregnant I will be scared the whole time, but I have heard that most women are. We just have to take it day by day and do our best 🙂