- 5 years ago
I have a son who is 19 months so naturally we are starting to talk about #2. Originally our plan was to start trying this summer so that our son would be turning 3 right around the birth of the next one.
Now as the time gets closer I am kind of freaking out about it. The truth is that I hated being pregnant SO MUCH. I also don’t like babies. I mean, I love my baby, and I’ll love my next baby, but the first year was absolute hell for me. I had major anxiety that he was going to die and my husband had no idea what to do and didn’t even try to help me. I also have struggled with disordered eating in the past so the weight gain then weight loss was awful for me too (I did go to therapy during my pregnancy to make sure I stayed on the right track).
Now that my son is 1 1/2 I am so much happier and I am loving being a mom to a little person- he is just so amazing and fun!! I have taught pre-k through 6th grade and I love all of it and I am definitely looking forward to watching my son (and any additional children) grow!
Is this a normal feeling to have?? To dread the process of getting me to where I want to be? I don’t want to go into pregnancy/baby time so negatively, but I just hated it so much and I am finally feeling like I have my life back and I am positive again.
I also feel like I don’t have the time to wait around until I am ready because I am already 33. If I had been given the opportunity to start sooner I wouldn’t be stressing about a 4-5 year age gap, but now a 5 year gap would make me 37 and then I really wouldn’t want to go for 3.
My husband also is not interested in adoption and definitely not paying a surrogate, but that is easy for him to say because he doesn’t have to be pregnant and he can just go about his business when the baby comes.