(Closed) When did you know you were ready for #2?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 1
Member
312 posts
Helper bee

Hi All!

I have a son who is 19 months so naturally we are starting to talk about #2. Originally our plan was to start trying this summer so that our son would be turning 3 right around the birth of the next one.

Now as the time gets closer I am kind of freaking out about it. The truth is that I hated being pregnant SO MUCH. I also don’t like babies. I mean, I love my baby, and I’ll love my next baby, but the first year was absolute hell for me. I had major anxiety that he was going to die and my husband had no idea what to do and didn’t even try to help me. I also have struggled with disordered eating in the past so the weight gain then weight loss was awful for me too (I did go to therapy during my pregnancy to make sure I stayed on the right track).

Now that my son is 1 1/2 I am so much happier and I am loving being a mom to a little person- he is just so amazing and fun!! I have taught pre-k through 6th grade and I love all of it and I am definitely looking forward to watching my son (and any additional children) grow!

Is this a normal feeling to have?? To dread the process of getting me to where I want to be? I don’t want to go into pregnancy/baby time so negatively, but I just hated it so much and I am finally feeling like I have my life back and I am positive again.

I also feel like I don’t have the time to wait around until I am ready because I am already 33. If I had been given the opportunity to start sooner I wouldn’t be stressing about a 4-5 year age gap, but now a 5 year gap would make me 37 and then I really wouldn’t want to go for 3.

My husband also is not interested in adoption and definitely not paying a surrogate, but that is easy for him to say because he doesn’t have to be pregnant and he can just go about his business when the baby comes.

Post # 2
Member
1937 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe you won’t feel like that this time around? You’re an experienced mom now, so the crazy first time mom anxieties may not hit you as hard. And it seems like you managed your eating disorder in a healthy way through your pregnancy so you can always go back to that since you know it worked. You may also have an easier pregnancy, or the hormones may give you a different mentality. No one can guarantee any of that of course, but maybe it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking. 🙂 every pregnancy/baby is different and you’re different now too!

Post # 3
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

First of all, kudos to you on managing your eating disorder. I’m currently in your boat and struggling with some of the same things. I have no experience with eating issues but I was an uncomfortable pregnant lady, extremely sick and everything hurt. My labor and delivery experience was pretty traumatic and I still have some anxiety about it as well. My husband and I want another baby and want to try soon, but whenever I really start to think about it the nerves set in. I’m hopeful that my next pregnancies and subsequent labors and deliveries are easier because I’ve already been there, and I’ve experienced the positives of motherhood and know all the hardships are worth it. 

Hope this helps.

 

 

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