(Closed) When did you know you were ready for a baby?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 46
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

whats the rush in having a baby other than your friends posting and its making you jealous? Your SO SO YOUNG. Enjoy being married, travel etc.  Still have lots of time to have children. Maybe your husband just wants to enjoy being married a bit longer before bringing another child into your lives.

Post # 48
Member
1191 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I had baby fever SO BAD from ages 19-22, but thankfully I was smart enough to realize I wasn’t ready – especially financially. 

Now I’m about to turn 31 and I’m 37 weeks pregnant with my first. I STILL don’t feel ready! Haha. 

I don’t necessarily think you should wait until your 30s to have babies, but why not research the costs of everything baby-related (car seat/stroller/crib/crib mattress/clothes/diapers/wipes/medicine/bottles/food/child care for after maternity leave) and then see if they work into your monthly budget?

I’m in Canada so I’m sure it’s different, but in our area it’s $1500/month for child care. We’ll have to base our whole lives around this, basically! That’s half my gross monthly income JUST for child care!

Post # 49
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

stephaniee24 :  I’m 25 and Darling Husband is 26. The thought that helped beat back my child fever was seeing my sister with my newest nephew(it’s her first child and man is raising a baby hard). 

We made a list of realistic things we’d like to get done first WITH an actual timeline. I think that helps make it feel more real and takes you out of that”waiting”phase. For example, we’re buying a starter home in about 1 year, going on 2 large international trips within the next 2 years (deposits are already down), and going to give ourselves time to grow in our careers. This makes it 3 years until we’re comfortable to have a baby. When you think about it in the grand scheme of life, having a baby around 28 (or 23 in your case) isn’t bad at all. You’ll have your whole life afterwards to be a mother, but only now to be a young, sexy, and relatively carefree couple.

Post # 50
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I am 30 and my husband is 35. I’ve always known I wanted kids but never actually felt ready for it until about Feb of this year. Darling Husband has been ready for a few years now. We’re very much prepared financially but I still just felt there were more ducks to get in a row, more adventures we should have, and I love my life and relationship the way it is so I feared changing it. Darling Husband never pushed…he let me know he was definatley ready but then gave me the space to come around.

One night in Feb I had this dream that I had just given birth. I was breast feeding the baby and I can’t describe it but it was such an intense and warm feeling. The feeling stayed with me the whole next day. I started doing practical research…day care options and costs, my maternity leave policy at work, etc. I was suddenly just ready to jump off the cliff into the unknown! It really was just like that. We went out to dinner that night and I told my husband, I’m ready! Let’s do this! We decided to wait until early fall to see if we could time the birth for summer when Darling Husband will be home to help so we had about 6 months to further mentally prepare. Just got my BFP and am due in June so it worked out perfect. I will admit when we got that BFP the fear and shock did flood us, but it dissipated quickly and we are excited and ready to take on all the new challenges and Joys! 

 

Good luck. I think you’ll just know. Don’t force it.

Post # 51
Hostess
11051 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It was a gradual thing for me and some months I thought no I wasn’t ready. We started trying and I got the stuff like OPKs and thermometer etc. Even then some months I changed my mind where we didn’t try as I wasn’t ready. Over a period of time the feelings of wanting a family grew stronger and stronger. As a pp has said, you’ll just know, don’t worry and go with how you feel.

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