When did you move in together?

posted 2 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 31
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

I started sleeping at his house about 2 months in. He gave me a key at our 6 month anniversary. I officially moved in 15 months after we started dating. 

Post # 32
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York

Be cautious of “sliding” into cohabitation! Living together is wonderful, but since it’s a huge commitment, you and your partner should make a deliberate choice to live together and discuss what that means to each of you. For some it’s a step towards marriage, but for others, it’s not! Mr. Joseph and I dated for the last two years of college, and then we went to grad school together. So we dated for a little over two years before we moved in, and we moved in a couple months before we turned 23. We talked about our timelines (when we wanted to get married and eventually have kids) and our individual needs and expectations to make sure we were on the same page before we moved in together. 

I second what browneyedgirl24 said! It might feel like you’re living together if you hang out a lot, but it’s completely different once you actually take the plunge. If you have a terrible argument, you can’t head back to your own apartment to cool off. If you get sick, your partner can’t stay at his/her place until you get better, they’re going to be there for all the coughing/diarrhea/sneezing/vomiting. You really do see each other at their best and their worst, and there’s no hiding things! I used to clean my apartment before my boyfriend came over, and now that we live together, it’s no secret that I’m a little messy. Luckily, Mr. Joseph is a bit messy himself, so our apartment isn’t the tidiest but we don’t drive each other crazy. Plus, if you’ve bought furniture together, it can be hard to divvy up the possessions after a breakup, and getting out of a lease or finding a subletter can be difficult. So I wouldn’t live with someone unless I felt completely sure he was “the one” and we’ve had the difficult conversations. 

Post # 33
Member
351 posts
Helper bee

Long distance for a year, then did what you’re currently doing for a few months, then offically moved into together. So about 1.5 years…but logistically it could not have happened much sooner. 

 

Post # 34
Member
1983 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

After 2 years, but our first year we lived 80 miles apart and the second about 1000 miles apart. We moved across the country together and started living together at that time. We were both 26 at the time.

Post # 35
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I don’t remember exactly but probably 2 years. 

Post # 36
Member
2844 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We moved in together after dating for about a year (long distance). We were both 21 at the time, and I moved overseas so that we could finally be together!

Post # 37
Member
2443 posts
Buzzing bee

We bought a house and started to live together after three years. I was 22 at the time my Darling Husband was 25 at the time. We both lived with our parents/at college before the purchase and we would also stay with each other all the time. It just made since but the transition still wasn’t easy it is completely different being around someone 24/7. 

Post # 38
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

We moved in after being together for about 2 years. Before that I was over at his house most of the time but still had my own place. It’s good to have your own place for awhile. 

Post # 39
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

We moved in together almost 12 months to the date of dating 🙂

I would suggest that you and your beau have a sit down and talk about what you foresee as your future, and what the pros and cons are of living together. It opens up communication channels and allows both of you to be on the same page. My Fiance and I did things a little… differently LOL. He was fishing around a few months before we moved in together, seeing where I was up to for moving in with him, but we didn’t have the conversation until the first night in the house after we put the bed together. We worked out pretty quickly what our expectations were and all that jazz… and it’s an ongoing process! But so fun and worth it – he has now adopted by three fur-kids as his too <3

Good luck!! 🙂

Post # 40
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee

we were spending almost every night together a few weeks into dating, but he got rid of his apartment after like seven months.

Post # 41
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Year and a half, I was 19, he was 23

Post # 42
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

12 months, and we were 29/28 years old. We were both living in houses we had bought, so I moved into his and we rent mine out. 

Post # 43
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

8 months. We spoke about moving in together after 6 months together…then we started looking at flats because I lived with flatmates and he lived with his mum. Up until then we saw one another 2 or 3 times a week. I was 27 and he was 35. Now been living together for over 2 years. 

Do what feels right for you. Don’t do what everyone else does. Your relationship – your rules. 

Post # 44
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

Officially around the 3 year mark. 

We were ready to move in together over a year earlier but my job at the time was ending (temporary contract) and it took me six months to find another. Then I needed to settle into the new place before moving as well.

However, unofficially I had been staying there regularly since about the 6 month mark and some of my stuff lived there at around the 1-1.5 year mark.

I agree with previous posters about the length of time being less important than you being on the same page about where the relationship is heading. My boyfriend and I were friends first so knew from the word go that we were working towards marriage and kids. 

Post # 45
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

We moved out together when we were about 24 (dating since 14!) Before that we were both living at our parents but I was staying over at his parents house most nights and hated having to pack my clothes for work the next morning every night. Got engaged after about 1 year of living together 🙂

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