Post # 1
***STUPID QUESTION ALERT***
So we’re not getting married until November but I HATE the word “fiance”. I don’t know, I just think it sounds pretentious! Is it just me? HATE IT!!!
Early in our engagement, I still referred to him as my boyfriend b/c again, HATE the word “fiance”. Anyway, as of late, I’ve taken to referring to his as my husband to people who we don’t know. Like if I call in take-out and they ask my name I’ll say “but my husband is picking it up” or something like that.
Is that bad juju, like trying on wedding dresses before you’re engaged? Am I being ridiculous? Has anyone else done this?
I only even question it b/c a million years ago, I was working at Edible Arrangements, and a girl came in to place an order to send to her FH the morning of the wedding. She was ridiculous, and when I asked for her billing info, looked at her friend and mom and me and said, “OMG! I don’t know what name to give you! Like, should I give you what my name is NOW, or what it’s GOING to be??” Girl, chill. I know you’re getting married. No one cares.
So by calling him my husband prematurely, I feel it a tad obnoxious!!
Post # 3
Honestly, I can’t stand when people use husband/wife before they are married. It devalues it.
Post # 4
Maybe I am just superstitious but I can’t call him my husband until we’re married.
Just like I would never wear my wedding band or tell people I am married yet.
Post # 5
After the wedding. He wasn’t my husband until then.
Post # 6
I won’t be calling him my husband until we’re officially married. I’m not the biggest fan of the word “fiancé” either, which is why I use it sparingly and only with people I don’t know. Otherwise I just use his name.
Maybe you could call him your partner until you get married?
Post # 7
I didn’t call him my husband until we were married!
If you don’t like Fiance, what about just using his name?
Post # 8
I’m with you and occasionally use the word husband, but only to people I don’t know and will have no occasion to talk to again. I really don’t see the big deal. One of the reasons I want to get married is so that society will see us as a legitimate partnership. So sometime if just saying husband gets that level of our relationship across I do it. Granted I’ve only done this after we got engaged.
Post # 9
Not until after our wedding. It’s stupid to call him that before you get married.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
When I read the thread title I was like “…when I got married…?” but after reading I do know what you mean. Once or twice when I was talking with an employee of a restaurant or store I would say “husband” just to make the conversation quicker. Especially if it was a woman… I’m an introvert and I learned early on that “fiance” gets uninvited “ooooh when’s the big day!!” conversations when I just wanted to express that [some random man I came in with] is pulling the car around, haha.
I never liked saying fiance, or boyfriend for that matter. After approximately a year or two of dating I felt kind of childish saying boyfriend to my peers at work who were 30s-50s, even though that was the most accurate term for him at the time.
Post # 11
I too hated saying “fiance”, mostly because they it would provoke the “oooh, when are you getting married? What are you wedding colours?” and to be honest, when I was planning my wedding I got really sick of talking about it.
So when I started going to a new dentist a couple months before my wedding, I put “married” on my info form. During my appointment the hygenist asked “What does your husband do?” and I was smirking to myself, and told her what he does. Then a little while later, near the end of the appointment, she asked how long I’ve been married, and I felt so dumb saying “Well actually… we aren’t really married yet” and told her when the wedding was going to be. And of course then she asked all the wedding planning questions I had tried to avoid, and I felt like a goof to boot!
After that I didn’t call him my husband until we were married.
Post # 12
Calling him fiance sounded so pretentious to me at times, and we only called each othe husband and wife pre marriage to test it out on each other, lol.
I love calling him my husband now. :))))
Post # 13
Or when people call their SO parents or siblings by Mother-In-Law, Father-In-Law, SIL, etc. when… they’re either still dating(!) or only engaged. They’re not you in-laws yet!!
Post # 14
Not until after the wedding.
Post # 15
The thing is, he’s not your husband right now. Enjoy calling him your fiance — you may look back on this period wistfully some day (even if you think the word is annoying now!).
Post # 16
After we were married
Sometimes I didn’t like using fiance just because I didn’t want to talk about the wedding with people, so I just used boyfriend or his name.