(Closed) When did you start to go "waiting crazy?"

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

At about 2 years in, I was going crazy, mostly because I knew it was coming soon and was just impatient. I’m also in my 30s and want children so, it’s not like I have years and years. 

Post # 32
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I never went crazy. I knew I wanted to marry him, but I enjoyed our dating/living together situation already, and didn’t feel like I needed to push it. We just had a conversation one night and decided to go ahead and get engaged. Now we’re married, and neither one of us had to put up with stress from the other. That’s how it should be.

Post # 33
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

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futuremrscrow:  I started to get a little antsy and hopeful as we approached the one year dating mark. DH was dropping hints about us getting married, but he wasn’t actually proposing.

I did not let myself get to the crazy waiting stage. I talked with him to find out if we were on the same page. Turns out, we were. We made a timeliine and got married a year after that. 

Post # 34
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee

I went a little crazy earlier this year. Lots of weddings, lots of couples who got together long after we did. We’ve been together for nine years now. I get little twingers here and there, but am fine with our relationship and where it is. He’s not legally obligated to be with me, but is of his own free will (and vice versa). We love each other, have fun, laugh a lot, and have a great thing going. I’ll be over the moon when it happens but I won’t let it distract me from being happy NOW. Also, I won’t move states or buy a house/big ticket item or have kids until we’re married and those are things he would like to do so that’s a bit of motivation 😛

Post # 35
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

I had to leave my job due to my disorder, go back to school to get a different career that would be more accommodating to having epilepsy, and I turned 30 all about the same time. All the unpredictability made me need some stability in my life. I knew I wanted kids. Fiance and I already had discussed many times how we’d def. marry “someday”.  Suddenly I wanted it all right away. The seizures have put me in this mindset lately that anything can be taken away from me at any moment so live life now. I know for sure I want kids. Who knows whether I’ll be able to have kids 5 years from now, if seizures have taught me anything it’s not to trust the state of my body from one moment to the next. I feel healthy now so I want to take advantage of it. 

Post # 36
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I was already a bit crazy around the 2 year mark, I was hoping for a “ring by spring” my senior year of college.  To add insult to injury, his brother got engaged in the height of my waiting-craziness to a girl he had only known for 6 months and had been dating for 4.  I flipped shit.  She also has the same first name as I do, so we’ll both be Mrs. First Last.  Additionally, she chose the date that I had been secretly planning our wedding for, for over a year (not legit planning, just dream planning).  Oh yes, Fiance was so afraid to tell me, I found about it from Facebook.  FACEBOOK WHILE I WAS AT WORK.

I was livid for quite some time, I’ve started to get over it now and just revel in our happiness.  The crazy does come out every time I’m asked why we’re having such a long engagement – I will not compromise on being a June bride!

Post # 37
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t think I went crazy but definately the thought of getting engaged came more and more frequently. I guess when I realized, “omg I love him and I want to really be with him” and I felt he really loved me too is when it hit me.. We are approaching 2 years together and we started talking marriage maybe in September? We also dated another time but just for 8 months and it didn’t get serious. So we definitely know and feel that this time was “different”.

Man, I’m in love!! ❤️

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  dearjohnbride.
Post # 38
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee

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futuremrscrow:  I started thinking about getting married a lot more after he asked me to move in with him, but I think what really made me go waiting “crazy” was seeing so many of my friends getting married, and then when we attended my aunt’s wedding last April. 

Post # 39
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

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futuremrscrow:  haha I think it was when I got the hint. I’m 25 and I live in nyc where it seems like no one’s married so I was never in the rush to get married. However, once I got the hint, marrying him started feeling like a much much more tangible future that I’d love to happen! Once I started imagining…yea it was like a rabbit hole. I am guilty of possessing multiple of those Pinterest boards lol.

Post # 40
Member
45 posts
Newbee

Since last Christmas. I have been ready for quite some time now, but last Christmas was our first one living together and I figured all of our ducks were in a row. He kept hinting about my amazing Christmas gift, how special it was etc. Twas the night before Christmas, and I found a wrapped ring box. I was like…well, this is it!

It wasn’t it though. It was earrings. Which I love! But I have been ready and gotten progressively closer to exploding every day since then. Since then, we have had much clearer conversations about where we’re at and even though what I got out of those conversations was that it will be fairly soon (my guess would be within a few months from now), the waiting  has gotten only harder. I honestly think about it every single day, most of the day which is starting to feel so absurd. One of his best friends got engaged over the summer, and I have really struggled to be happy for them with all the ridiculous “but they just started dating!” “why not me!” thoughts.. and I feel like because of that, I think about THEM too much, and every time we are going to spend time with them, I have to mentally prepare myself… which sucks, sounds crazy, etc…. buuuut, needless to say, I wish I could stop thinking about it and just “live in the moment”, but that’s not who I am. I am an overthinker, nosy, and can’t live in anticipation for ANYTHING, especially something so huge.

So yeah……. rant over.. guess I needed to get that off my chest! 

Post # 41
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

I didn’t start going “waiting crazy” until around our 6th anniversary. Most of our relationship, I was against marriage, believing it was just a piece of paper. Now, my views have done a 180. When he surprised me with an adventure to go canoeing (knowing my love for nature), it clicked in my head that this is the man I want by my side for the rest of my life. That was June of 2015. Over the past 4 months, the anxiety has gotten worse. He asked me one (slightly drunken) night if I would ever marry him (8/2015) and of course I said YES! We’ve talked about it a few times, and we are both on the same page as far as wanting to be married by the end of 2016. I’m going slightly crazy with the waiting, knowing that he has been looking at rings for months now. I had only one condition on the proposal- He had to get my father’s blessing beforehand. Now I’m sitting at work, and he is taking my Daddy out to lunch. The crazy is kicking in full force at this point! I can’t wait to be Mrs. Rohr <3

 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by  Courtney1993.
Post # 42
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

It definitely started at the beginning of this year/end of last year when he and his family brought up the topic of what type of rings I like. 😛 Waiting should be an exciting time filled with suspense. If your waiting period turns to remorse that’s a sign that you need to reevaluate your relationship IMO.

Post # 43
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

When everyone around you (who have not  together for as long as you have) starts getting married/engaged it makes you wonder why has he proposed to me yet? 

Its natural to compare yourself with people, especially if it’s something you want for yourself and the person you love.

so it’s also natural  go  a little (or a lot) waiting crazy.

That’s probably what started me off…

Post # 44
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m getting a bit impatient now, not to the crazy stage yet though, although I’m sure I will be next year if there is no proposal this year. 25th Nov will be our 5 year anniversary and we always discussed getting engaged around this time so starting to get excited/ anxious/ impatient now that it is NOVEMBER. omg. lol

Post # 45
Member
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

My DH and I were together for three years before he proposed. At the year and a half mark things felt ‘right’ for him to propose, but he was dragging his feet. Sure, he talked about marriage and our future OFTEN….but the FEW times I mentioned it myself, he’d react with extreme and unnecessary anger. He’d say hurtful things like “[I] don’t deserve a proposal” or “[I’m] a bitch for rushing him” etc etc etc. This was confusing for me because when HE initiated the conversation, it was somehow fine and fun to talk about. It didn’t help that around that time his brother got engaged to his Girlfriend of seven months and married her several months later. I’m not going to lie, the fact that they started dating after us and got married before us bugged me a little at the time…but I kept that completely to myself. 

I don’t want to go into a lot of details about the nose dive our relationship started to take, and the fighting that was going on, and the things he was saying to me, but it got to the point where I set him a deadline to propose…tacky in retrospect, I know…and he seemed cool with the deadline at the time, and it actually looked like it was going to happen, but he faked me out in the cruelest way possible…and it caused A LOT of drama, hurt and strain on our relationship. 

After a while I had accepted the fact that he was turning into someone else (he was angry and standoffish A LOT) and that he wasn’t going to ask me. I had quietly gone through the grieving process, and was secretly looking for another place to live and planning my exit strategy. I will never know for sure if he found out or not I was REALLY leaving him, but out of nowhere he proposed on our three year anniversary. We were on a trip with our friends to help our one friend get over a REALLY bad breakup…yes really….and our relationship had deterioriated to the point where we weren’t even officially celebrating our anniversary…so it was VERY unexpected.

I said yes (it would have been WAYYY to uncomfortable and awkward if I had of said no on that trip), but spent much of my engagement questioning it because I wasn’t sure if we COULD come back from all the damage.

I did marry him…last month to be exact. We are in the process of buying a condo and planning a family. Do I regret marrying him? No. Will all the hurt and negativity surrounding the proposal and engagement colour our marriage…maybe. Who knows?

 

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