Post # 1
So I just found out last night that I’m pregnant (yay!) and I’ve been bursting at the seams ever since.
My husband and I talked and we’re definitely not going to make any big “announcement” until at least 12 weeks. But we can’t figure out what to do about our immediate family, more specifically: my parents, his mom, my brother, and his sister. We’re a very close family so I can’t imagine waiting 12 weeks to tell them…8 weeks?
How did you handle this? Did you tell people in different waves? Like immediate family at X weeks, best friends at Y weeks, etc… Was there anyone you told right away? Like your very best friend?
I’m so excited today I don’t know how I can possibly keep this secret (but I will)!
Just wondering what other people have done in this circumstance.
Post # 2
While I suggest being cautious with telling too many people, based on my own experience. I do not think there is a right or wrong time to tell your parents, and your very close family and friends. The worry is always that something might happen, so you don’t want to go out and tell the world… But God forbid something did happen, it is nice to have those closest to you in the know….. And on the happier side… Who can wait to start celebrating?!?
With our first, we waited until 12 weeks to tell our parents and family. We waited until almost 16 weeks before telling any friends. We found out his sex in week 17, and I remember telling my two best friends that week, just prior to our anatomy scan. I had previously suffered a loss at 16 weeks, so we were very cautious about telling people.
With our second, my mom knew at 5 weeks. We had again suffered some more losses, so I was having my hcg monitored, and I needed progesterone, which had turned into an insurance nightmare. It was tough to hide. She was with me when I got the call that my hcg was raising in a very promising way, so I had to explain the tears 🙂 We told my Mother-In-Law at 6 weeks, and the rest of the immediate family and close friends some weeks later.
We also did announce each pregnancy to Facebook. Each time, it was shortly after the gender was known to us. So around 17 weeks for the first, and 21 weeks for the second.
Post # 3
I told my family around 6 weeks (we did ivf so we told them after our first ultrasound where we saw the heartbeat), and told my husband’s family and all of our friends at 12 weeks. Congrats!!
Post # 4
Each pregnancy was different with different feelings and situations at play but I always told someone before everyone, like a close friend or family member, then came out with the news later to everyone and explained that it was confimed, etc.
One pregnancy I didn’t make public on social media until the baby was born but I realized that wasn’t as fun so the next I announced halfway through and this one I announced at around 13 weeks! I think it feels good to openly talk about it and make it public after 12/13 weeks whereas when I kept it a secret past that it felt heavy! Until that time comes I do suggest having a few close people to talk to about it since yes, I totally know the feeling of bursting at the seams!
You can do whatever you want though! That’s just what I’ve been happiest doing so far! Congrats on your pregnancy!
Post # 5
Congrats! I told my husband right away at like 4 weeks when I found out, my best friend at 5 weeks (kind of by accident lol) and our parents & siblings at 6.5 weeks. I told a few close friends around 10ish weeks. Then we waited until after my 12 week ultrasound to tell everyone else. I never did any social media annoucements, anyone who needed to know, knew already – I didn’t feel it was a secret or anything, people talk anyways. I honestly just went with what felt right at the time. 35 weeks now.
Post # 6
Family was told after our first ultrasound sound at about 7 weeks. Friends were told at about 19 weeks. I was paranoid because of a prior miscarriage. I actually regret being so worried as I didn’t let myself enjoy my pregnancy at all.
Post # 7
For our first we told our moms relatively early. But I actually didn’t reveal that I was pregnant until I was nearly halfway for the fear of miscarriage.
For our second, we told them right when we thought I was 8 weeks. I miscarried later that week.
For our third, we waited until after seeing the baby three times on the ultrasound before finally revealing I was pregnant again. This one so far has stuck and I’m just over 6 months along. My mom knew each and every time fairly early on because she’s my mother.
Post # 8
I’ve been pregnant 4 times – 2 MC’s, 2 healthy kids.
Every time, I immediately told my mom. We’re very close and that was no way I wouldn’t tell her.
1st BFP – told my Mother-In-Law and DH’s 2 brothers right way. I also had to tell basically everyone as I found out 2 days before my bachlorette party. So I normally wouldn’t have told all those people, but they figured it out pretty quickly when I wasn’t drinking the champagne 🙂 That pregnancy ended in a MC though.
2nd BFP – Darling Husband was much more guarded this time around. He was really devestated by the MC. Told my mom immediately. Also told my BFF who I taught with so that if I needed to run out of the room or whatever, she knew what was going on. Told DH’s family and beset friends at 8 weeks after we saw the heartbeat. Told others after 14 weeks whenever it came up naturally. Did social media after the 20 week ultrasound and we knew things were looking good.
3rd BFP – told my mom and BFF and DH’s family immediately. We knew things weren’t looking good at 7 weeks so held off on telling more people. Had a MC at almost 11 weeks.
4th BFP – same as #2
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories! Keep them coming!
I am worried about miscarriage, but not for any logical reason, just because I’m an anxious person and always worrying. Plus I know they’re more common than most people think. That’s why I know I’d only be telling people early if I was 100% okay with also having to tell them I lost the baby. I don’t even know if we will do any sort of Facebook announcement or not. My husband thinks those are silly but we’ll figure that out later.
Hubby is basically leaving all these decisions up to me. He’s fine waiting until I’m comfortable telling whoever. My main dilemna is my BFF. She’s in town this weekend (we live several states apart and see each other only a few times a year) and I keep going back and forth on whether or not to say anything. I know they backdate the date of conception to the first day of my last period…so that would put me at right at 5 weeks now. She’s also a doctor, so I know she’d be not only very supportive/excited but also very helpful. Hmm…
Post # 10
anonybee2016 : Congratulations.
It really depends on a few things. One thing is, if something were to happen, would you be comfortable sharing with others about that too? It could be good to get support or you may not want that.
I am pregnant for the second time in a year. I lost my first pregnancy in December. I had only told my parents at that point and then my best friend. It was good to have someone know, but I personally am glad a lot of people didn’t know since I am a pretty private person.
This time, I am around 11 weeks. Only my parents and DH’s know at this point. We had an U/S at 8 weeks and then told our parents after that. But we are waiting until about 13 weeks after my next U/S to tell friends and family this time.
Post # 11
I’m in a similar boat. I found out I’m pregnant yesterday after my second embryo transfer. I have told my mom and my husband plus a couple very close friends. The ones I would lean on if there were any issues. I have my second beta tomorrow, if that looks good, we will tell the rest of our parents (large extended family). Because of the IVF I will be having an ultrasound at 7 weeks, so if everything looks good then, we will start to tell others. I’m not an extremely private person and I wouldn’t be able to hide it well if things went wrong. I have had a prior miscarriage but we knew after my second beta that it was imminent, so we didn’t tell anyone but our parents.
Good luck! H&H 9 months to you!
Post # 12
anonybee2016 : Why wouldn’t you want to tell your parents or his parents right away? Just curious. I was so excited to tell my immediate family as I knew they would be so happy and also would want them to know if something happened. On all my BFP’s they knew the day of or the day after I got it 🙂
Post # 13
We waited until 12 weeks for everybody. Facebook wasn’t a thing then, but I don’t think I’d have announced it on Facebook even if it did exist. After 12 weeks, I just told people as it arose (other than family and closest friends) I didn’t make an announcement.
An old schoolfriend of mine who I’m only Facebook friends with these days posts all the time about her horses and foals, one day she posted a picture of a baby in a carseat in their kitchen with the caption “Baby Edward is safely home from hospital” – cue a lot of Fb only friends like me commenting – “You had a baby?! – Wow! Congratulations!”. I have to admit I was pretty impressed at her social media continence.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with being less emotionally constipated than me, as long as there is some sensitivity about others who may have suffered losses or are struggling with infertility, so not going overboard with all the #blessed, and praising the Lord who has chosen to reward you with a baby [whilst overlooking your sister/friend/colleague] type stuff.
Congratulations on your happy news!
Post # 14
bosley2016 : I love my parents. But I’d not exactly say they are calm and relaxing presences in my life. They’re worriers. I’m a worrier. They will all be ecstatic (this will be my parents’ first grandchild) but also never leave me alone once I tell them.
Post # 15
anonybee2016 : I get it 🙂 Maybe after you have your first ultrasound and hear the heartbeat that would be a good time to tell them since there will be less worry after that!