When did you tell?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 16
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We told our parents after the 8 week ultrasound, siblings after the 12 week ultrasound, and close friends during the couple weeks after that whenever we saw them.  We didn’t ever do a formal social media announcement because we’re not huge social media people.  I am now 6+4 with #2 and itching to tell!  Can’t decide when we will.  I go back and forth between wanting to tell NOW and wanting to wait til like 16+ weeks haha.  

Post # 19
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

anonybee2016 :  Congrat and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months!  I had my ultrasound for baby #2 at 7 weeks and 2 days and heard a heartbeat (currently 8 weeks 4 days), so hoping you get to hear the wonderful sound as well!

Post # 20
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom

Congrats!

Last time, we told my Mom at 4 weeks (DH wanted to tell someone, so I chose my mom). We waited until I was 8 weeks to tell DH’s family. We never really announced my pregnancy to anyone, so everyone was surprised when they got invitations to my baby shower. I was worried about having a miscarriage because I was approaching my mid-30s at that point, but honestly, the reason I didn’t want to tell Mother-In-Law I was pregnant until later was becuase I knew she wouldn’t be able to keep the news to herself. Which I was right about. She ended up telling a couple of her friends, and one of those friends told my middle Brother-In-Law before we were able to tell him. I was pretty mad about that.

I’m currently pregnant with our second – I’m only 5 weeks along, so still really early and praying for a sticky bean! I’m actually in my mid-30s now, so I’m more worried about a miscarriage this time around. I’m planning on waiting until 8 weeks to tell our moms (I originally wanted to wait until 12 weeks, but Darling Husband protested) and then I think I’ll make a FB announcement to just my close friends when I’m around 20 weeks, after the anatomy scan, assuming everything is going well. Trying to spread the news by word of mouth didn’t work out so well last time. We have a graduation party to attend this weekend, though, and I think DH’s friend will figure out I’m pregnant. Last time she figured it out becuase I wasn’t drinking any alcohol. But as of right now, only Darling Husband and my March 2016 Mamas group know I’m pregnant.

Post # 23
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I told my Darling Husband my sister and my best friend the day I found out at 4 weeks. My dad was really poorly that day and almost died so I didn’t tell my parents/his parents until I was about 7 weeks. We told his sisters/my brother shortly after that and family members/work and friends when we’d had the first scan at 13 and a half weeks. I never really announced on FB but posted a pic of me and my very heavily pregnant friend this week with our bumps as most people know and I guess that was the ‘social media announcement’ and I’m 22 weeks and have a pretty noticeable bump now. Congratulations!

Post # 24
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

1st pregnancy – I told my parents after my 8 week ultrasound that confirmed a heartbeat.  We told my MIL/FIL/SIL right before the 12 week ultrasound because they were going out of town and we wanted to announce in person, we told the rest of the family and close friends after the 12 week ultrasound, I told work at 13-14 weeks (waited until after holiday bonus).

2nd pregnancy – I told my parents and inlaws after the first ultrasound showed it was a miscarriage (later found out it was ectopic).  I needed the support and help with Ben.  The word slowly trickled through the family because I ended up so sick and in and out of the hospital and needed surgery, etc.

Next pregnancy – We are doing IVF right now.  Immediate family knows, most of my extended inlaws know.  We aren’t sure what we will do about telling people when it comes time to transfer and hopefully confirm a pregnancy.  I’d like to wait until we see a heartbeat.

Post # 25
Member
1782 posts
Buzzing bee

Not pregnant, but I am very open with many friends and family. They all know SO and I have been trying so a BFP wouldn’t be a complete surprise, and they all ask regularly. I have one friend who has suffered multiple losses, another friend who has had 3 babies already, my very best friend in the world, and a couple more very close friends who are either currently pregnant or had a child in the last year. Plus, both my family and my SOs family are all very close and we all talk. Everyone has been wondering when we would have a baby, and while for some that can be very stressful, we are both from families where we are open books, and it’s very natural for us to share what we are going through. So for me, there will be many people I will share a BFP with early on, but I would ask that it not be shared until around mid-pregnancy on social media. (I know they’ll be able to do that, because during the transition of getting divorced and starting a relationship with my SO, we asked that both families be sensitive to overloading my page with information as I am still friends with my ex-husband on Facebook. I moved on much more quickly than he, and I wanted to be sensitive to that.) That being said – I know we’re not the norm. 

Post # 26
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I am not yet TTC but have thought about this. I would like to tell immediate family and closest friends right away because I would want their support and advice. My only hesitancy is that my mom is terrible at keeping secrets. She would for sure tell more people, which I am not comfortable with. When my ex proposed it was while we were away on a vacation, and just after we had left for this vacation, she posted on Facebook that she couldn’t wait for me to return because I would be engaged. So I didn’t get the chance to reveal my engagement when and how I wanted because she did it, and had I happened to have gone on Facebook during the trip and before the proposal, I would have found out from her too.

And again, when my brother was planing his surprise proposal to my now SIL, he expressly told our mom not to tell anyone. I know of at least three people she told. Once, I watched her talk about it with someone, and I reprimanded her, and her defense was, oh (the person she told) doesn’t know them, she (my now SIL) won’t find out. True the person she told didn’t know them, but he worked with some of their friends! 

Ultimately it will need to be what you feel most comfortable with based on your situation. 

Post # 27
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Congratulations! We told our parents and my best friend right away, we figured if anything bad were to happen we would want their support. We told siblings and other close friends after the first scan at 8.5 weeks (we had planned on waiting until after the 12 week scan but found out it was twins and just couldn’t keep it to ourselves!) I have my 12 week scan next week so will probably tell extended family after that. We have no plans for a social media announcement. 

I think it all comes down to what you are comfortable with!

Post # 27
Member
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I told our parents at 9 weeks, after we had our first ultrasound. We announced on FB at 13 weeks. My best friend knew around 7 weeks – not intentionally, I met her for lunch and didn’t order a beer and she guessed immediately. Whoops. 

Post # 28
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

We waited until I was six months to tell people. We don’t have family in the area, so it was easy to keep a secret. And the longer we waited the easier it got. It was our little secret. We would laugh about how we couldn’t believe people couldn’t tell. Even when someone straight up asked me if I was having a boy or girl (straight up skipped the even pregnant question) other people laughed and thought we were joking.

Do what you think is best. We are private people, so we didn’t want to make a fuss over it.

Post # 29
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My husband was the first to know of course. Actually, he was the one that encouraged me to take the test and asked me to get back with him as soon as I found out.

I wanted to wait until the 12 week mark to tell others, but my husband was having a hard time holding it in. We told our parents and his grandma a week later.

My husband pretty much told his friends and family the news when he encountered them.

I posted my ultrasound picture on FB a few days after my appointment (hit the 12 week mark).

 

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