When did you tell?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We’re telling family on Mother’s Day which will be when I hit 12 weeks and when we have them all in one room.  Mainly because I thought “well I can always tell later, but I can’t UNtell people.” I would have been fine telling my family around 8 wks but my husband felt bad telling my side a MONTH before his, but his family has loose lips, so we waited. 

Funny story though, my brother’s fiancee texted today asking if the dress store made a mistake, since they were ordering me a size 14 Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for her wedding, and she thought “must be wrong, did they mean 4???”….she had to finalize by end of day so I let her know and asked her to keep it secret until we share with everyone else next weekend.  She’s so delighted both for me and also to be the first we told, our first sister secret lol.  I figure the rest of the family will understand that one 🙂

Post # 47
Member
6710 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

anonybee2016 :  I thought I was 2 weeks ahead of my real time, so I had plans to tell my whole family at Christmas.  Instead I chose to tell only the immediate family (3 people) and my best friend and let everyone else wait until the 12 was up.  I told my parents the day I got home as I needed mom’s help on a mom/daughters day trip to avoid delis (we were going to Philly, it was inevitable).  I kept it from my sister until Christmast day – literally lying to her the day before when she asked, because I had a gift to announce it.   Funnily enough, she believed my lie so well that she thought the gift was more of a “just in case” than a reality and said something like “too bad I’m not an aunt yet,” so I had to also speak the words.  

My parents had already guessed, my best friend had already guessed, technically so had my sister.  They basically said that since I’d stopped talking about planning to have one, I was either pregnant or couldn’t so they kept their mouths shut (I have a good family).  At work I told a teacher whose student I couldn’t work with anymore (too erratically violent) and the OTA student I was training, just in case it impacted her training.  Then I let people work it out, eyeball me, try to decide if they could politely ask or not… very entertaining for me.  One person figured it out just this week, and I’m at 27 now.  I find this method much more preferable as I don’t really care for the immediate ooh, ahh attention so much.  The only person who knew right away was my husband.  We even went to Thanksgiving with his family a day later without saying a word, or really wanting to.  We’re weird like that, so it was super easy not to say anything. though they might have wondered about my constant peeing tongue-out

Post # 48
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee

We’re telling our parents and siblings on Sunday at 13w2d. I’d hoped to have the NT scan results before telling them but due to a scheduling mishap, we won’t get them till Monday and don’t want to wait an extra week for our weekly phone call (we live far away from all family and only catch up on Sundays) because I’m traveling next weekend.

We won’t be doing a social media announcement: I don’t have a Facebook account and Darling Husband rarely uses his. Rather, once we get our screening results (definitely after first trimester screening, maybe after second tri too) we will just tell friends as we see them and it becomes more obvious.  If I don’t run into or speak with someone in the next 7 months, I guess they are going to get a surprise!

Post # 49
Member
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

anonybee2016 :  I am thinking that this question is based on when it might be “safe” or the pregnancy is less likely to result in miscarriage, and if whether it is a good idea to wait until that time to spill the beans.  I asked myself, “Who would I need support from in the event that I miscarried?” and then told those few people.  It is different for everyone.  

Post # 50
Member
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We actually told our immediate families last night at about 7 weeks. It is my birthday weekend and everyone was here except for one niece and her husband so we thought it would be a good time. My husband said “go upstairs and put your shirt on” (he bought me one that says “due in December” ) then I came down and said “we have something to share with you (or not because a few family members already knew). It was a sweet, emotional moment. I got lots of hugs and questions. 

Post # 52
Member
2310 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

twodresswedding :  Thanks much! It has been a long time coming (close to two years) so hopefully this sticks and we get a beautiful baby at the end. 

Post # 53
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

Congrats!  We are ttc now. Due to my family’s history of miscarriages we won’t tell anyone til around week 12 Then depending on how much I am showing, I’d prefer to wait til we know the sex before telling anyone else. 

Post # 54
Member
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t have kids yet, but Darling Husband and I are planning to start TTC from next month (eek!).

At this stage, we plan to tell our parents early. We have dinner with both sets of parents weekly (all our siblings are there too) and I am a social drinker – it’s very unusual for me to not have at least a glass of wine with dinner. I’ve started to decrease the amount I drink, but it’s definitely something I won’t be able to hide for long. We hope that by having our parents in the know, they’ll be able to help us hide my not drinking until we’re ready to announce it to the rest of the family lol. I’d like to keep it to ourselves for a little, so imagine we’ll tell our parents between 6 and 8 weeks.

We plan to tell our siblings and closest family/friends around 12 weeks. Once all the VIPs are in the know, we’ll most likely make a FB announcement for less close family and friends. 

One of my SILs has recently publicly announced her pregnancy – she told siblings at around 7-8 weeks and her mum knew before that. Darling Husband and I were already pretty sure she was pregnant – my suspicions started around the time she found out, actually, but I wasn’t going to say anything until she was ready to announce. 

Post # 55
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My advice would be hear the heartbeat before you tell anyone….But then I didnt follow my own advice and told our family immediatley! 😛

My rule is, only tell those that you would want to know if you had a loss. Congrats on your pregnancy!

Post # 56
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

We waited a fair amount of time. Were not overly close to either family and i didnt want sympathy if we miscarried again. We had told no one for the 1st pregnancy which I miscarried. 

We told both sets of parents and siblings at 11 weeks. Dh’s brother and sil told everybody at 11 weeks, 1 week ahead of us and then miscarried at 13 weeks so after that we held off until around 16 weeks to tell everyone else. None of my family can keep a secret so next time we will wait longer to tell them, but luckily they dont live nearby, so it was just more family they told really.

Post # 57
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake

I waited a month before I told my mom. I found out around the end of April & I took my mom out for a Mothers Day lunch & told her. It was a great surprise for her!

Good thing I didn’t wait too long. I started to really show at 3 months.

Congratulations Bee!!

Post # 58
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

We had kind of a unique situation since our pregnancy was a surprise and we had a wedding set for August 12. We found out I was pregnant on Feb 7 at 4w3d. We decided almost immediately to try and move the wedding up since I would be 31 weeks by then. We told both sets of parents that day and my workplace by the end of the week. (I’m an oncology nurse so knew I had to stay away from some of our patients and meds)

Once we spoke with our vendors and found out we could easily move our wedding, we told our bridal party at about 7 weeks. We announced on FB at 11w before we sent out the wedding invites. Now I’m 17 weeks and we are getting married in 18 days!

Post # 59
Member
7097 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I told my two BFF’s right away at 4 weeks, because I couldn’t hold it in. I also told my trainer, because it seemed like the smart thing to do when lifting weights.

We had agreed that we wouldn’t tell parents or anyone else until at least 12 weeks because they can not keep a secret. We’d actually planned on telling them on Mother’s day because I would have been just a couple days shy of 12 weeks. We ended up having an Ectopic at 6 weeks. Unfortunately my other BFF found out the crappy way, when I called her to drive me to the ER (DH was out of town for work) when I started bleeding. At that point we slowly filled in our parents, and a few other close friends.

Post # 60
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My parents and siblings and his parents knew at 5 weeks. We told extended family at 11 weeks, and announced on Facebook at 13 weeks. 

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