Post # 1
We’re TTC now and I’m unsure of who to share it with. I’d like to tell my girlfriends and just share the journey I’m on. But Darling Husband isn’t keen on telling friends – he’d rather share with his parents only (if that). I originally didn’t want him to tell his parents bc unlike gfs, they will be sad potentially for us and it will add to my emotional burden since they do want their first grandkid And tend to be more of the anxious type so it might add to my stress to have their opinions.
It’s only been 1 month so it’s not like we want to get advice from people who did ivf or anything, I just want to share for emotional support.
I wonder if I share with too many people will I regret their questions later?
In a way it’s nice because for the past year, we had told some friends that we wanted to have a kid soon and now some of them are pregnant and say things like do it soon or you’re next! If they knew we were trying, they’d be more sensitive with their words.
Anyone regret telling their friends? Wish they had shared sooner? I’ve told 3 close friends so far. One of them had a miscarriage and is also TTC. Darling Husband thought sharing w her was ok. The others aren’t married and mostly no where near TTC, though 2 of them are nurses, 1 in fertility.
Post # 2
I didn’t tell any friends. If it takes a while and you are already upset about that, do you really want friends asking how it’s going / watching your eating and drinking habits like a hawk / etc? I didn’t.
Especially because I wouldn’t tell many, if any, friends if I was newly pregnant and then had a miscarriage. But they’d be aware that you’re trying, probably pick up on clues that you’re pregnant, ask you about it or at least know, then realize later that you’re NOT pregnant….. just way too much info for anyone besides me and husband and maybe close immediate family.
Post # 3
The only person I told we were TTC (other than the pees!) was my best friend, who has a baby and who had recently been through TTC herself. Dh also told his best friend. Other than that we didn’t tell a soul. I went into TTC with the expectation that it might take awhile and I really didn’t want people wondering “is she pregnant?!?” every time they saw me or asking me about it. My parents knew we were TTC after my miscarriage cause we had told them about that pregnancy, but I didn’t mind them knowing at that point. It was helpful to have their support.
Post # 4
I’ve told my two best friends that I’ve come of the pill but as they aren’t really at this stage of their own lives (eg marriage and TTC), haven’t really felt I can talk that much about it to them and they haven’t really shown much interest. I haven’t told my parents – my mum used to be a nurse and can imagine her bombarding me with well-meaning advice that I would probably find stressful!
That said, a lot of our nearest and dearest will have guessed as my husband and I cancelled a honeymoon to Costa Rica when we realised there was Zika!
Have found it a bit lonely so have started posting on the POAS boards this month which has been nice though it would be lovely to have people to chat to in real life (other than my husband whose eyes start to glaze over at a certain point!)
Post # 5
My immediate family knows (we are pretty open, yet they don’t know about the CP), my aunt who is one of my best friends, a couple coworkers (two who are also TTC) and my best friend who was my maid of honor are those that know…..other than the pees here. The support needed during this process is real
Some close family friends have an idea that we are or will be trying soon, simply because they knew we wanted to have kids shortly after we got married. I don’t offer much information to them though, because I don’t want to deal with the letdown. We were all talking at a bridal shower about having kids, adoption, those who shouldn’t be able to have kids but seem to be the most fertile, etc though. But I didn’t go into detail about what is going on in my uterus. Lol. Everyone always asks though when you are planning on having kids as soon as you get married it seems.
Post # 6
I told both of my parents (and step parents) around the time we got married that we were hoping to start a family. It’s nice to have the support.
My grandmother has been knitting things like crazy and I’m sure she has a massive stockpile for us when we do conceive lol.
I have told 2 friends, one started trying a little before me (and conceived first try and has baby now) the other one is going to start trying this fall. We talk about it a little, not a lot. I have an OBGYN appt next month which is cycle 11 of TTC.
Post # 7
We didn’t tell anyone. I told people after getting my first positive which ended in a chemical pregnancy. I wish I waited for blood work because I was so upset with two of the people I told. Those two people were women that I work with. I only said something because my job requires me to take radiographs and I didn’t want to risk taking them. It was then very awkward to tell them two days later that it didn’t stick. One has brought up a few times making comments like “When are you going to pop one out?!”. She went through IVF and eventually went with adoption so I’m surprised she isn’t more sensitive about the topic. The other three were two close friends and my sister in law. I am so glad I had my sister in law when my chemical pregnancy ended because as a mother of three she was so amazing to have as support. She sent me a happy mother’s day text which was so sweet.
Now I just tell people we are opting so save money instead because I’m the expected next person to get pregnant at work. Several of us just got married last summer so there is a lot of pointed questions at me about it.
Post # 8
I guess I’m a blabber mouth! I’ve been telling my close friends (two maids of honor) and my parents that we are taking out the goalie. I’ve got an appointment in two weeks to take out my IUD.
And I’ve basically been shouting it from the rooftops in every TTC board I can comment on.
I know we won’t be telling his family or friends until we are pregnant because he’s much more of a private person. But I like to share everything with my BFF.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard
Honestly I wish I didn’t tell anyone mostly because I have nosy coworkers asking all the time about my eggs (it’s a nurse thing, it’s too easy for nurse coworkers in stressful environments to overshare). We (well I mostly) ended up telling almost everyone because I was excited and thought I wanted the support but actually it just puts more pressure on the whole situation unless it happens right away. In my case we started trying in November and December but then for other reasons didn’t have sex again until May, so it realllly got annoying having people assume we were having a hard time and telling me to “just relax” when what I wanted to say (but obviously couldn’t) was “actually my husband hasn’t had sex with me in 5 months so I’m not really the problem here.” 😳 so IMO it’s best to keep your plans to yourself because once it’s out there, you can’t take it back.
Post # 10
I told three of my best friends right away, which has been great because they’ve all been great to talk/vent to throughout this long, frustrating process. I told my parents at first too, which was NOT great because they were way too nosy. After a few months we had taken a break, so I told my parents we stopped trying due to too much other stuff going on with our careers (which, temporarily, was true!) and then just never told them we started trying again! I’m really happy with that decision– they are both blabbermouths too and had been going around telling extended family! Ugh. Anyway now that they think we are NOT trying things are good with them, and it will be a happy surprise when (trying not to say *if*) we finally get pregnant.
Post # 11
My husband and I recently talked about this. We were driving home from the in laws house yesterday where his mom was making lots of comments about us having a baby etc. Etc.
And I mentioned it in the car, about how I can’t wait until we start and have a baby so she can shut up about it. Lol my husband responded by saying, well in a few months we can tell her we are trying. (we are planning to start trying in August/September) and I told him absolutely not. What if it takes a while. I don’t want to deal with all those questions.
We decided that we aren’t going to tell anyone except for one friend who will probably be trying for her second kid around the same time we will be trying for our first. She is a great mentor, so I think I would appreciate her guidance and going through this with her. I don’t plan to Tell anyone else though.
Post # 12
We aren’t TTC yet but we’ve discussed that when we do we won’t be telling anyone. I just don’t think it’s anyone’s business and I don’t want the added pressure of others also hoping I get pregnant each month.
If I want people to talk to about it, there’s plenty of strangers on the internet!
Post # 13
I didn’t tell anyone in real life until we were about to embark on fertility treatments after a year of truing unsuccessfully. After that it was nice to have the support, but I was really hoping to be able to surprise our families with the good news rather than have them expecting things. It all worked out in that they were extra sensitive given they knew we struggled so there weren’t any probing questions- they just figured we’d tell them when treatment worked.
Post # 14
Maybe I’m just a really private person but i think its an odd thing to announce. A Facebook friend of mine just announced on Facebook that she stopped taking birth control two weeks ago. I could have gone without knowing that 😂
Post # 15
emsie : lol. I definitely did not mean a FB announcement! Or really any sort of “Announcement,” but more like when friends meet up and they ask how things are, saying, well I’m excited because I might be pregnant soon, or man the TWW sucks, or sharing disappointment that it didn’t happen right away etc. So it would only be part of a natural conversation with close friends or family, not planning on telling co-workers or acquantainces.
Also, friends might try to plan a trip with us involving certain activities and I told our close friends, well, if I’m not pregnant then, then sure! (just as a heads up that we might be later this year, not necessarily that we are trying right now.)