When did you tell people you were TTC?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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Firework :  haha yeah, i could see myself bringing it up to my best friend in a way you mentioned. But i dont think there’s any way i would tell my mom or my in laws until it actually happened. Or maybe if i was having fertility issues for a while i would talk to my mom. But right off the bat to tell my Mother-In-Law “hey your son and i are going to stop using condoms next month” just totally creeps me out 😂😂😂

Post # 17
Member
10224 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I didn’t tell anyone in real life cause I didn’t want people up my butt. Which was good cause it took 9/10 months to conceive and I wouldn’t have been able to handle the questions.

Post # 18
Member
936 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We’re a few months away from trying, and the plan is to keep it to ourselves. My few closest friends know we generally plan to have kids soon but I don’t want specific questions about how its going when time comes. 

Post # 19
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

We didn’t tell anyone until the 12th week ultrasound. So many things are out of your control when TTC, it almost seems like putting additional pressure on yourself. Good luck Bee!

Post # 20
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We didn’t tell anyone the first time around, and didnt want anyone to know, especially not parents.  I didnt want them examining my every move any more than both sets already do.  I did end up telling a friend who lived far away that we would try “soon”, but not the month  we pulled the goalie.  This time around a couple friends know because they are also ttc, but not family.  I’m too uncomfortable with them asking about our unprotected sex life, haha.  For kid 1, we told parents after hearing the heartbeat and others after the 1st trimester.  My parents dog had died the day I found out I was pregnant and I dont think my parents would have been able to handle it if I had had a miscarriage.

Post # 21
Member
47290 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We didn’t tell anyone until after the first trimester. Our sex and procreation life is no one else’s business. Why would we want to let ourselves in for all those comments and questions?

Post # 22
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

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emsie :  wow that’s a bit excessive!

We aren’t there yet but I think about this a lot. My husband would literally tell everyone he knows. I like to think of him as overly honest… he just doesn’t see why you wouldn’t! But I’d really rather keep it quiet. We’ll see…

Post # 23
Member
3310 posts
Sugar bee

I told my best friend right away, she was very supportive after we experienced a ruptured ectopic at the start of our TTC journey. I told my sister and other close friends at around the 6 month mark as I needed to vent. Considering none of my friends are TTC, or don’t have kids, and some don’t ever want kids – they have been surprisingly understanding and supportive.

My mother was hounding me about babies ever since our wedding, and about a year after the ectopic, and at the time we started fertility testing I told her we had been TTC and were diagnosed with secondary infertility. It didnt matter what I did- if I hadn’t of told her we were infertile she would have kept nagging me about when we were having babies, but right now she keeps saying “just do IVF” even though I stated I wasn’t ready to take that step just yet. A damned if you do, damned if you don’t  situation 🤷‍♀️

Unfortunately we haven’t been able to tell D.Hs family about our struggles at all.. This is because there are two extremely toxic family members who we do NOT want knowing we are TTC/infertile 🙁 

Post # 24
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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Firework :  we didn’t tell anyone we were trying. That’s kinda private and nothing something people really care to know.

Post # 25
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My husband and I didn’t tell anyone. 

Post # 26
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

The only person I told was my best friend. Then again, we have been best friends since 5th grade and tell each other everything. Also, she’d been pestering me for a while. Lol

Fortunately it happened quickly, but I still wouldn’ have told anyone else, to be honest.

Post # 27
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We won’t tell anyone. I consider it a very private thing!

Post # 28
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I told one of my best friends 6 months before that I was planing on coming off my BC in October and then told her when I did. Another close friend told her we were “just seeing what happens” a month after I stopped my BC she obviously knew we were trying. Neither have been pushy, the one I see more often has asked a couple times “are you pregnant”. Two days before my POAS date we went out and I didn’t drink and she asked, but has never pushy. Told both them shortly after my BFP that I’m pregnant. They were so excited and it was nice to have someone else beside Darling Husband to talk to. We never told our parents as we didn’t want to either get their hopes up or hear their unsolicited advice. 

Post # 29
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee

D.H. and I have been trying over a year and only 1 of my best friends knows, and she only knows we’ve been trying a while, had a MC, and are doing fertility treatments now. Everyone else knows ‘we want to have a family someday’. I know it is thinking worst case, but with how much we’re struggling, I am so happy I didn’t start telling everyone a year ago that we were trying. Just something to think about- worst case, would you want everyone always thinking you’re pregnant/asking if you’re pregnant for over a year? 

Post # 30
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

Everyone knew that we wanted to start a family soon after our wedding (which was a couple of months ago) – so I’m guessing there’s some speculation but we haven’t actually said “we’re actively trying” to anyone.  DH and I actually discussed this yesterday that we’re happy just keeping it between the two of us.  If I do get a BFP, I’m sure I’ll tell some of the people in my inner circle whose support I would want should something go wrong in the early stages…. but I’m only one cycle in and there are questions coming my way that I just don’t feel like I need to answer right now.

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