Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor has been MIA since my shower last month. I’m not going to go into too many details, but I can tell that she is annoyed by my wedding and I feel is that it is an inconvenience to her. I actually don’t bother her about anything at all. My other friends and bridesmaids have been helping me with all the last minute details.
Now, I am starting to worry because I don’t think she has her plane ticket yet for the wedding. I asked her to let me know when she gets in so I can coordinate nail appts, etc. before the rehearsal and she said "we’ll be in touch". That was two weeks ago. The wedding is in 12 days and she still doesn’t have a flight. I’m about to lose it.
She doesn’t respond to emails and I had to call and text numerous times to get her meal choice. I’m really freaking out, but do not want to have a bridezilla moment and call her Mom and tell on her!! (she is my cousin)
What would you do? I’ve decided not to print the programs until I know she has a flight (so sad)
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Call her mom. At least then you’ll know if she’s even planning on coming.
I wonder what happened?
Post # 4
Ugh, that’s awful! =( *HUGS* I think what you have to concentrate on here is that YOUR WEDDING WILL BE WONDERFUL ANYWAYS. =) You’re marrying the man you love! Of course, it would be nice if your Maid/Matron of Honor was there for you every step of the way, but maybe she has issues of her own that she’s worrying about, who knows.
*HUGS again* You’ll pull through this. And, if she doesn’t get back to you by a week before, PRINT THE PROGRAMS. It’s no use waiting around if it means you’ll miss a deadline.
Post # 5
Try calling her one more time, and then call her mom. She is behaving strangely, and you deserve to know what’s going on!
Deep breaths, yogigal!
Post # 6
Call her momma! If it were just a friend, I would have different advice. But since it’s fam, you have a different set of rules and things you can get away with. Even better? (and more passive aggressive, ha!) is have your mom call HER mom.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry about all the added stress!! Hope things get ironed out soon!
And I agree about calling her mom to see if maybe something is going on that you’re unaware of. By agreeing to Maid/Matron of Honor duties, she knew what the job entailed.
Post # 8
I totally agree, call up your aunt and find out. You need to know what’s going on, and she will not ruin you wedding.
Post # 9
"Aunt So-and-So, how are you? I’m SO sorry to bother you, but we’re finalizing some plans here for which we need to know when the members of the wedding party will be arriving. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Maid/Matron of Honor, but you know how busy she is! Do you know when she’s coming in and what her flight number is?"
IF AUNT KNOWS: "Oh, thank you! So, at such-and-such time…and such-and-such flight number….That’s wonderful! I really appreciate this! Things have been so crazy that I haven’t been able to speak with her since the shower. It’s great that everything is going so well for her, but I hope she’s not working too hard! Can’t wait to see you at the wedding."
IF AUNT DOESN’T KNOW: "Okay. I’m sorry, I REALLY hate to ask this of you, but could you possibly get in touch with her and let me know? Things are crazy over here, and I’ve got 20 more people to call in the next day. I know things are busy with her too, but I’m thinking you probably know her schedule better than I do — goodness, we haven’t even been able to speak since my shower!"
Your aunt will know what you’re getting at. TRUST me, she will know. Sorry you’re having to go through this. You might think about asking your aunt if she wants to come along when everyone gets nail appointments et al, if the wedding party and your mom and sisters (if you have ’em) are going together with you. That way, if you do get your cousin’s flight confirmed but aren’t sure when she’ll be available for nail appointments etc., you can slot her in for her mom, who either won’t mind or WILL mind and will give your cousin a piece of HER mind. 🙂
Post # 10
I think ivorygirl said it best! Also, your Aunt may give you some insight into her behavior is she recognizes something strange has been occurring as well.
Post # 11
btw, how was she at the shower? involved, having fun or cold? did something happen at the shower that may have caused her to switch off?
either way, this must be super stressful for you so i hope you get some answers soon
Post # 12
Ivorygirl’s suggestion was great! I’m so sorry that you’re going through this right now, but everyone else is right. Even if your Maid/Matron of Honor somehow has the audacity to not show up, you will still be marrying the man of your dreams! You can have another bridesmaid who has been helping out step up to the plate to be the Maid/Matron of Honor just in case. Hopefully, she’ll come around and realize what she’s doing to you. Please let us know how this works out! I hope for the best for you!
Post # 13
YOU GOTTA KNOW. Plain and simple.
And might I say, how rude of her to be like this. Shame on her.
Post # 14
Tell her that if she doesn’t get a plane ticket with in the next couple of days she can forget coming at all. That is completely unfair to you. And if worst comes to worst call her mom. Maybe she needs it..
Goodluck, and i hope everthing works itself out!!!
Post # 15
Man, I just don’t know how people act like this. It’s infuriating and it’s not even happening to me! I’m so sorry yogigal. I agree with Ivorygirl, her wording was perfect. Let us know what happens…we’re all sending good thoughts and hugs your way!
Post # 16
Thanks for the support. It is just so complicated. I think she is someone that always has some sort of drama or something going on.
@eloping – she left the Bachelorette and Shower early…. Leaving the Bachelorette party early I just atrribute to her having social anxiety and being traumatized by the debauchery that was going on :), the shower was a bit rude, but she booked an early flight back.
One thing I do have to say in her defense is, that I don’t think she really gets it. NONE of her friends have gotten married. She actually doesn’t have many girlfriends, just is really close with her cousins and I’m the first one to have a big wedding. So, I think she just doesn’t get it.
That said, there are so many bridal shows and movies out there that I don’t understand how she can’t realize all that goes into it. I’m more annoyed at the fact that she hasn’t once in the year and half since asking her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, asked "is there anything I can do to help". Oh, well. Part of me feels like I asked for this and should have known better.
My advice to people is to not pick family (sister, cousin, etc) just because its the right thing to do. Sometime blood is not thicker then friendship.