Post # 1
I am so frustrated right now!!! My fiance has a friend who makes more money then him, but asks for rides and money. And my fiance does it all. He helps him! My fiance is struggling with his own bills, and should not be giving away money and rides.
Recently I found out that supposedly my Fiance is not giving him money anymore and gets 20 everytime he gives the guy a ride. But who knows.
But a question occured to me as I was thinking about the situation,when is it too much?????
The guy nor his wife drives and asks my Fiance for rides.WHen would u tell a friend enough is enough? Even if they give u money for the ride??
And now I just found out that my Fiance applied to the same business where this friend works. Good LORD, the guy is gonna ask for rides continuously now if my Fiance gets the job!!!!!
With your experience with your friends, when did you say enough is enough?? Even if they did give u money, when did u just get tired of it????
Post # 3
What, so neither him nor his wife drive??
Post # 4
Give them the number to a local cab service, that’s ridiculous.
Post # 5
I think you are totally justified in being upset. Normally, I am all about helping friends with stuff like that, but if someone starts to take advantage I suddenly become very “busy” whenever they call.
Post # 6
i voted other – i dont mind helping a friend with a lift every now and then but im not a taxi service and i generally dont give friends money (because they dont ask)
its a bad habit your Fiance needs to break – all he needs to do is say no a few times and these “friends” will find someone else to take advatage of
Post # 7
No neither drives.
WHen my Fiance handed me his phone one time, I was looking at the texts between my Fiance and this guy. Nothing but texts about pleas for money and rides. Ever since then I have been upset to see how this ‘friendship’ is!! I told my Fiance that your friendship is not a friendship, hes completely using u!
Post # 8
I’ll carpool with a friend if we’re going the same place, but I will never be a cab service. I also expect the friend to drive 50% of the time.
Also, you should see if this friend sticks around after your Fiance doesn’t give him money or rides? I have a feeling he’s just around for the perks and won’t be as good of a friend if your Fiance isn’t paying his way.
Post # 9
Yeah the thing is, he doesnt drive at all. SO carpooling wouldnt work because my Fiance would be doing it all. Sounds crazy, but I wish I could take ove the texting between him and my Fiance, I would tell him whats what!
Post # 10
I’m confused. Mainly because any normal person would not ask for a ride constantly. Your FI’s friend sounds like a deadbeat, and your Fiance needs to stand up for himself. It’s not about the money, it’s a time factor too.
I, too, would be curious to see if this dude sticks around after your Fiance stops being his chauffeur.
Post # 11
That drove me nuts in HS. I was the only one with a car and people wanted rides everywhere. After the new license glow wore off I refused unless I was already going there (and that included dropping people off who lived “on the way”). I just felt like they were taking advantage and I did not want to pay for the gas anymore. I also felt like a jerk asking for gas money and trying to figure out how much their ride really cost.
Post # 12
“I’m sorry…I won’t be able to give you rides anymore, but if you are stuck I’d be happy to chip in and get you a bus pass for a month until you get back on your feet.”
I love to drive, so I wouldn’t mind giving rides…it’s the “being used” aspect that would wear me down.
Post # 13
there was a saying back in the 70’s
ass, gas, or grass
no one rides for free
Post # 15
I don’t mind helping someone out once in a while or sharing rides when we’re going to the same place, but I would certainly object at being taken advantage of, which is exactly what is happening here! In high school, I was one of the last to get my license but I fortunately had a good friend who lived only a few blocks away from me and would usually pick me up. I always gave her gas money though, even though she tried to refuse most of the time. Now, I don’t think about gas money but I also don’t expect to be the one driving all the time (or expect someone else to drive ME all the time!)
I agree with the PPs that your Fiance needs to just be ‘unavailable’ for the next several times he calls. It is ridiculous that a grown man (and his wife!) rely on others to drive them around. Fair enough if they don’t want to get their license, but then they better learn how the public transit system works.