Post # 1
My great uncle died and the viewing is today. I was not close to him- I haven’t seen him in years, and couldn’t pick him out of a picture. He was 98 and his quality of life was poor, so this isn’t a particularly sad funeral. My grandpa (his brother) has dementia and probably won’t know if I am there or not. My mom wasn’t that close to him, but is AWFUL with grief, and my dad is pushing me to go. It’s at an inconvenient time for me, and an inconvenient place. I don’t want to go. Should I go? Thanks!
Edit: When I say she is awful at grief, I mean that she makes a huge deal of anyone dying (even people she barely knows, even if they were 100 and it was expected), and if the person is close to her, she is an absolute wreck. My mom says she is doing fine with his passing, and seems to me to be in as good of shape as she normally is (not great, but not worse than usual). My dad doesn’t think she is doing that well, but he was also out of town for the past week and is not generally a good judge of this.
Post # 3
If it’ll make it easier for your mam to have you there, then go if you can.
Post # 4
I’ve always believed that funerals aren’t so much about the people who died as they are about the people that are left behind. Obviously I will go to a funeral if I was close to the person who passed, but I will also go if someone close to me was close to the person. Even if the person who passed was not in my life. It’s important, I believe, to support your loved ones when they lose someone–so if your mom and dad are asking you to go, I would.
Post # 5
If I were in your position, I think I would go. If I didn’t, I may regret it in the future.
Post # 6
I am actually more likely to go to a funeral for someone i am not close to. i like to grieve privately and would not handle the casual banter found at a funeral well if i was close to the deceased, but understand going to funerals to support the family.
Post # 7
To me, you don’t go to the wake/funeral for the dead person but you go for those who are grieving, to support them.
It would be your mom that you’re supporting more than anyone else in this context. If she is that grief stricken, your support would probably be appreciated. If you don’t have other siblings that can go, you might want to consider doing it for her.
Post # 8
I would make every effort to attend. These things are more important to the family.
Post # 9
I tend to only go to funerals if it is someone that I was personally close with or if a member of my family or a close friend was close with them. My friends grandfather died a few years ago and I attended his funereal. I didnt really know him that well but he was important to my friend so I went to support her. If your mom is this upset over his passing, then I personally think that you should go but I dont think it would be the worst thing in the world if you didn’t.
I find that most funerals are at inconvenient times but you cant really be like “Gee Uncle Fred, do you think you can hold off dying until next week when its more convenient for me?”.
Post # 10
It depends.. why is the time inconvient (i.e. are you working?) If I were working I would not go. Saying to my boss. If it was something else, I would go. Like others have said, it’s not about the deceased it’s about the people left behind.