Post # 1
How do you keep the hope alive that your SO is going to propose to you when it seems that it is not going to happen?
I mean, you know that your boyfriend loves you but it does not seem he is thinking about the future and have no plan in place about moving the relationship to the next level.
How to make him understand that it takes planning and saving to get things done?How do you read the signs that it is better to cut your losses and move on with your life.
Any advice highly appreciated.
Post # 3
Communicate with each other,the best advice ever!!lol, yeah it might be hard to approach the subject,but your not going to know what the other is thinking,so you cant deal with anything or make any sort of decision. It doesnt need to be a “mean” conversation,just say that yoiu would like his opinion on where he sees your relationship in “X” days/months/years etc. Then give him your views,that way you both know where you stand,
hope it helps hun xx
Post # 4
I second the communication thing. If your going to spend the rest of your lives together that is one of the important things to get right. If you don’t ask you won’t know.
Post # 5
I guess a third time is a charm I’m going to have to agree with the PP’s about communication. I think you guys need to sit down and have a talk about where you see yourselves in the future. Only then will you know if you both of th same page. I talked to my SO years ago where we saw our realtionship going. We happened to be on the same page it going towards marriage in the future. If we weren’t then I would of left him right after that. I’m a firm believer in not waiting forever and if you two are on different pages you have to ask your self are you ok with that. If not then it’s time to call it quits.
Post # 6
I’m with the other ladies. Communicate about it, but also think very carefully to yourself about a timeline that you can deal with. I told my hubby back when we were waiting that his choice was to ask me or not (and when), and that I definitely wanted him to WANT to ask me, but that I had a choice too and that was how long I was willing to wait. If you tell him something like that, just be very careful to not put it as a threat. If you are like me, you want him to really mean it when he asks, so you don’t want to make him ask when he’s not ready. I wanted my hubby to know the facts, which was that BOTH of us had choices in the matter and I phrased it as such.
Post # 7
I think that if you’re questioning “cutting your losses” than it’s probably not meant to be. You can’t push anyone into being ready to get married and if you do I think you’re setting yourself up for disappointment or failure anyways.
Post # 8
@dodgercpkl: That is great advice and I liked your quote: ” … choice was to ask me or not (and when), and that I definitely wanted him to WANT to ask me, but that I had a choice too and that was how long I was willing to wait….” I think I will use it. The good news is that all the cards will be put on the table this holiday season and early next year so I just have to be patient a little bit longer to know all the answers I need. I hate this feeling of NOT KNOWING, it makes me feel insecure. Thank you!
Post # 9
@KS240030: I’m glad I could help! 🙂 Waiting (even for the relatively short time that I did) was so tough. *hugs* Best of luck to you and I hope that your next thread is one that tells us of how he proposed!