(Closed) When do you know you are done having children???

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
12259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

You don’t sound thrilled by the prospect of adding another one… And that’s fine! You guys have plenty of kids.

Post # 4
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It depends on what you guys decide.  We knew we were done after 3 kids but I guess deep down we were still unsure because we didn’t do anything permanent.  Now we have our 4th and we are thrilled and done done done.  That is more than enough for us.  We cannot afford anymore kids.  We don’t have the space for more kids.  Vacations have gotten more expensive so we are having to forgo them…. (and this is crazy, even though 4th was a surprise, I still wonder about a 5th but know we just cannot).  

Another factor is my body… this 4th pregnncy was hard on my body and am still recovering and it’s just not easy bouncing back like before.  We did miss having a newborn and so now we have one but I was so over babies.  Plus we have to think about the future and schooling and savings.  This is it for us and now we’re researching premanent bc options.

Post # 5
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@brokeninnj:  the question is why do you feel you need to have one more child ? just one more? why ? (my grand mother asked me this when she found out i was having sex i guess to scare in away from doing it) but now that im engaged and thinking about children i think of the things she asked me then….”why do you want a baby?, will it make you happy? is that becaue your not happy now? what makes you think the baby will make you happy? they are stressfull and cost money? how many will make you happy? (she was an odd duck i guess thats where i get it from) but —why do you feel the need to have another child?> i know that makes it sould like you shouldnt. but i would sit and think why you want a big family compared to the one you already have.  Good luck in whatever you decide 

Post # 7
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


I’d say just wait and see what you think over the next little while at this point. If you want another one that’s fine. It sounds like you’re financially able to have another and your husband supports you. You’re 33, you don’t need to decide immediately! 

Post # 8
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@brokeninnj:  i dont have any kids of my own but i find it strange when someone says ” i want one more baby” it makes me feel like idk…i need those boots! i just need them they will make me happy for now but eventually they will be worn in and i will need new ones…i think a baby happens…it shouldnt be a necessity in life and thats how i feel when people say “i want another one” – its not the same as someone who dosent have any say it. women want that motherly feel i get that but when they already have a few and want just one more to make the family perfect…eh… it makes me think the woman is trying to be an attention grabber, you said your yougenst is now 9mts, not really a baby.. (most people i know) want a baby to dress it up and show it off… its not a purse or prize it is a baby i think you (anyone not just you) should only have a baby if you have the time/money/ and most of all LOVE real love to share with that baby.. im also not saying you dont love your children now or whatnot, just my oppinion on how girls i know act with their babies…(i hope you dont think im being mean at you on this post i dont want it to seam taht way)

Post # 9
1286 posts
Bumble bee

You’ll know. I knew I was done right after I had my second child. My x had a vasectomy.  After our divorce, I had my tubes tied.  I knew FI didn’t want any more children either. He has 1.  You will know when you are done. You’ll feel it, sooner or later. 

Post # 10
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I stopped after my first child.  With the responsibilities of parenting her and working full time, I felt I couldn’t afford, either emotionally or financially, to have more children.  I do not regret my decision.

Post # 11
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have always wanted 4 children, so far i have one child which was a huge shock and happened when i was 19. I have since had 2 m/c and ultimately this has led to me wanting to give life to as many children as my body will allow. If that means i am only blessed with one more so be it but i dont think i would ever prevent children after feeling the sorrow that comes with m/c. If you want another then go for it, it doesnt make you an attention seeker and it doesnt mean you want a baby just to dress it up, you said you always wanted 4 and currently have 3 of your own so why not give it a try. With 6 children between you both it must mean you have a lot of love to give. I admire that. Good luck xx

Post # 12
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

For me, I would be done with having children once I could no longer afford to send them all to college. Of course its their choice to go to college (though I’ll certainly be guiding them that way and they won’t be living at home for free if they aren’t in school) but I want to financially offer them the option to be able to go. If I couldn’t afford to put an additional kid through school to get their degree then I wouldn’t have another child.

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