Post # 1
I cant wait to become a mother! but i’m still in school and my husband is in seminary.
i know we are not ready now, but when do you know??
Any advise? That way I can plan and work towards a goal! 🙂
Post # 3
You don’t! I have heard tons of people say that if you wait til you’re ready, you will NEVER be ready.
Post # 4
My dad told me when I was a kid that there’s no point in waiting to be ready as you never will be. Just have the baby and work out how to cope.
That said, we live in the UK where childbirth itself isn’t an expensive process and maternity leave is MUCH better.
Post # 5
@kate169:lol… i’ve heard that before. but i just think there has to be a point financially that a couple can feel comfortable to have a baby. Like both with stable jobs and some money in the bank??. but just how much!??? ahhh! 🙂
Post # 6
@SpecialSundae: you have a point. Child birth here is very pricey.
Post # 7
Here’s the savings breakdown my Darling Husband and I are working towards:
We’ll need to be making enough to cover all monthly bills, retirement savings, child care, the cost of additional health insurance for the baby, and an extra $300-$400 a month for extra baby expenses like diapers, clothes, toys, formula, etc.
We also want to have already saved at least $7K for any prenatal and delivery costs that our insurance may not cover as well as an emergency fund that will cover our bills and necessities for at least 3 months.
Post # 8
I am having a very hard time understanding this concept but you really never do! Try to set goals for yourself like finishing school, getting a good job, buying a house. Set yourself up for a lifestyle that you can bring a kid into and then work real hard and safe and take a leap of faith. That is what I keep hearing lol
Post # 9
We’re still a few years away from TTC but we have a pretty good idea of what we would need before bringing a baby into this world…
Owning our own home: I know that lots of people raise children in rentals but I’d prefer not to. We have a decent sized apartment that we’ve lived in for years and while it could be big enough for a baby, we would be miserable. I also fear that having a baby before owning our home may prolong our stage of renting since it may be more difficult to actually purchase a house after dealing with all of the financial responsibility that comes with being a parent.
Decent savings: Obviously people manage to somehow raise children with next to nothing but that is a situation that I would never want to be in. Even just having the baby is going to cost you a few grand (with standard health insurance) then tack on all of his/her needs (daycare, medicine, food, dr. visits, insurance, clothes, misc necessities) and you could go bankrupt if you’re not prepared. I know a couple who had to resort to selling their personal possessions just to pay the hospital bill from their daughters delivery. I’m not saying that everyone who has a kid needs to have tens of thousands of dollars in savings (though I’m sure no one can argue that that wouldn’t be nice) but some savings is really necessary. I’ve seen firsthand what the stresses of having a baby before you’re financially prepared can cause and it’s not pretty. I don’t ever want to experience that.
Ability to be a Stay-At-Home Mom: When we have kids, I’ll be staying home. We could swing it now but that would mean giving up a lot of the extras that we have and I don’t want to do that (I like my HBO damnit! Lol). With the cost of daycare, it wouldn’t even be worth it for me to continue working. I’m not going to pay some center $75 per day to change my kids diapers while I’m only bringing home $100 a week after paying for it. I’d much rather just do without the $100 a week and be home with my kid.
Everyone has a different idea of what “ready” means. For some, just being married “long enough” and being able to support yourself is “ready” but for others, like me, I’d prefer to have more of a game plan in place. The first few years are going to be trying enough without having to add on the extra stress of figuring out how you’re going to pay your bills.
Post # 10
well, first, it depends on your health insurance. to respectfully disagree with @CaitMarae, I contacted my insurance company (BlueCross BlueShield, MA, Blue Care Elect I think) and childbirth and prenatal literally will run us $250 for the hospital admission copay. No copays throughout prenatal. We are lucky, though, in having fantastic health insurance.
We rent – and are lucky enough to rent the other side of my in-laws duplex. Fenced in yard, pool, 3 bed 2 bath etc. Many renters have a worse deal and that’s why they pursue home ownership. We are okay with having a baby here, even glad to, because renting gives me the financial leeway to stay home that we wouldn’t have if we were both working to afford a mortgage.
As far as baby costs, I expect to have costs, but I am extremely frugal and strict with our budget right now that I don’t forsee it being all that much different. I will budget in formula if need be (try to breastfeed), we’re cloth diapering (already bought some), etc. We will make adjustments in our own “things” (maybe less money allotted to renting movies, fast food) to put more money toward baby expenses. Here, we’re also lucky to have family that will go nuts buying things.
We have only 2000 in savings right now, and I will have student loans (I’ll have my MA in may), as well as credit card, but we’re doing fine right now.
I think it is an entirely personal decision. Some people make it work with NO money, others can’t make it work with milions!
Post # 11
We are waiting until we have a house (as opposed to the apartment we own), I’m completely finished all the schooling I want to do (just finishing up a 1 year certificate, but thinking of going to be an RN) and also we want to do a few more trips prior to having a baby – like Vegas, Europe, Caribbean…we are 26 and 31 and realistically, we won’t be TTC for at least 4-5 years.
Post # 12
@sorrycharlie: I’m right there with you. Totally agree on everything you said. Our insurance will only run us the $250 co-pay as well, I’m planning on breastfeeding & cloth diapering. We’re fortunate enough to have amazing gracious families and would receive almost everything we need (at least for the first year) at our shower. We have about the same savings, and are living in my parent’s in-law apartment. And we are full out TTC.
However, one of the MAJOR +’s in our case is that I work from home already, and so bringing baby home will be a smoother transition while still allowing me to continue working after the first few months or so.
To answer the original question: You never know if/when you’re ready. It’s one of those things in life where you just decide to do it, jump in with two feet, and make it work.
Post # 13
@sorrycharlie: I’ve known 5 couples who have had babies in the last 2-3 years and all of their hospital bills were atleast $2,000. Some were even more than $3,000 and that was for pretty basic deliveries and prenatal care. They all have standard health insurance so it definitely can be that high. One couple that we know just delivered a few months ago and they have over $4,000 in hospital bills from the delivery and their daughter being sick a few weeks after birth. I’m certainly not going into TTC thinking that I’m going to get away with a $250 copay but it’s fantastic that that’s all that you have to pay. I’m sure our friends would be very jealous! lol
Post # 14
i think is to hard to be completly ready before you decide to have a baby, sometimes everything just works out as the time goes.
so as long as you feel emotionally ready, go for it, everything else will come along( having some savings will allways help,get somo extra space ready too)
Post # 15
@UpstateCait: oh I’m not saying it can’t be that high, just that it might not be. I’d totally advise anyone to call the health ins company, they’ll tell you straight up what they cover and what they don’t! well..the lady I got was nice. they aren’t always, lol!
Post # 16
@UpstateCait: I work in the HR department and deal with a lot of benefits stuff and those numbers seem kind of high to me, but it could depend on the type of birth as well as the area too…for the record, I think 250 is low, but super awesome.
@cubaneli: For us it’s just about having some emergency money in savings and enough saved up for me to take maternity leave from my corporate job. I also need to time my pregnancy right so I’m not delivering in the thick of wedding season (I’m a photographer). We rent right now, but we are comfortable renting at least until our child is 2 or 3. I would ideally like to own a home when we have a baby, but it isn’t really realistic if we want to have kids while we’re still young(ish). Based on our current (proposed) timeline I’d be 26 when I deliver and husband would be 28.