Post # 1
First off, I would like to apologize for this potentially long rant. I just need to vent and hoping that I can get some much needed advice and encouragement.
I am officially 3 weeks away from my wedding and I am completely overwhelmed, not just with my wedding but everything going on during this time. About four months ago, my father was diagnosed with stage 4 glioblastma multiforme ( brain cancer). There is currently no cure and watching him lose mobality, be confused, and even not being able to remember memories from his past. It’s heart breaking, especially since we are so close.
I also started a new position teaching severe and profound 13 – 17 years at an alternative school. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job but getting beat up, spat at, and cussed at everyday is rough during this time is rough.
Now to what is just adding all the additional stress – the wedding. I love my fiance and he has been wonderful and supportive but his family is driving me nuts! They complained I forgot to invite his grandmother’s sister to the shower, that my shower accidently fell on the date of his dead great grandmother who passed last year ( she would have been 100), then his mother wanted to have HER family bring their kids to my shower which I didn’t invite. My shower is at a very nice Inn. My fiance’s aunt called my aunt who is being so kind to throw me a shower, to say how my shower interferred with her going to The Johnny Appleseed Festival. I just feel so hurt, that they are doing this when they know the condition of my father. They are blowing up my phone complaining and all I’m trying to do is keep the peace.
Then my bridesmaid’s, my best friends, have not been there for me through anything that has happened – with my dad, the wedding, or anything! They don’t call or text to even say hello and at this point I feel like it’s just me and my fiance against the world. All they care about is my bachelorette party to get wasted. Right now, I’ve hit the point, that I don’t even want to go to my shower ( this Saturday) , my bacelorette party, or my wedding. I just want to run away and elope.
Am I overrecating? Am I wrong? Any advice?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Hugs!!
About your job, have you thought of switching to younger kids? I have a friend who was beaten up badly by a 15 year old BD student and switched to younger kids. She’s much happier now.
It sounds like tuning out your inlaws is the way to go. Take care of yourself!!!
Post # 4
I am sorry to hear about your dad and all the added stress. I dont have any advice but I just want to say that it is your day. dont let anyone take that away.
Post # 5
((HUGS)) that’s alot going on right now. I’d let all his family phone calls roll right into voicemail and then delete them. Take a breath, it’s stressful this close to THE DAY anyway and you should be trying to relax and enjoy things.
Post # 6
Sorry to hear about your dad, I can’t imagine going through and planning a wedding at the same time. Your wedding will be here so soon and i am sure it will be amazing! Just focus on your wonderful fiancé and hopefully these feelings will go away some the closer you get to your day. As for your friends my only advice would be to ask for support if you feel like its lacking, maybe they aren’t sure what to do or how to help or if you even want it. I bet they are looking forward to spending time with you at your bachorletre party, maybe they are just side tracked a bit.
Post # 7
Have you talked to your fiance about this yet? I know you wouldn’t want to put him in a you-verses-them situation, but maybe he can tell them to lighten up a little bit. I was in a similar situation this weekend with my fiances family, and I talked to him about it and he was more than understanding. He didn’t call them up and bitch at them or anything (I wouldn’t have wanted that anyway) but he did tell me if it happened again he would speak up. He said he understood why I was upset and didn’t want me feeling that way because of his family. Your fiance might be able to soothe things over.
I’m very sorry to hear about your father! Many hugs and thoughts coming your way!
Post # 8
I’m very sorry about your father. I can only imagine how hard this is specialy when you are trying to plan the happiest day of your life. I don’t know if you have tried this, but I would suggest to ask your Fiance to talk to his family. If they are only going to be calling to complain, then they really need to save it. Emotionally, they are not helping.
I wish your friends could be more supportive, you are going through a very rough time.
Best wishes, I hope you feel better.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
HUGS!! You’ve got a whole mess of &^*$^ going on right now.
I’m so sorry about your Dad’s situation. I like mspurple’s idea- can Fiance counteract with his family? Mother-In-Law was causing me a lot of stress, so I had Darling Husband (then FI) respond to emails she sent me. Just because someone calls you, it doesn’t mean you have to answer the phone.
Can you take a couple of days off from wedding “stuff,” until this weekend? Might help you be more upbeat about your shower.
The good thing from reading your post- I get the sense that you and Fiance are a team- at the end of the day, that’s such a blessing. Best wishes for a smoother rest-of-the-journey, and for a fabulous wedding day!
Post # 10
I’m sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my dad to terminal cancer last year. It is so hard.
My honest opinion, at this point, is put aside everything you can. Call the people you can rely on to handle wedding stuff. I would call my BMs and have a lunch and explain that it’s all too much right now, and see if they can handle more of the wedding stuff. They may just not know how overwhelmed you are, or what they can do to help.
Have your Fiance handle his family. If they call to complain, let him answer the phone. Forward emails to him. Be “busy.” He can politely tell them that you’re under too much stress right now to deal with this and determine if it’s something that actually needs your input, but if they are causing you this much stress right now, he needs to be a barrier for you.
Spend as much time as you can with your dad. Don’t let anything interfere with that.
Post # 11
I just wanted to say, hang in there! Big hugs and I am so sorry about the situation with your dad.
My advice is to call your BMs. They may be leaving you along because of the dad issue, and they don’t want to bother you, so I would reach out to them. In happier times, you chose them to be in the wedding. They most likely don’t realize how much this situation hurts you, or what to do or say, and hopefully will be there for you in the future.
The only good thing about Future In-Laws family is that you can get Mad at them, LOL! Sometimes its just easier to be angry than sad every day, so in a small way, that’s a blessing. A distraction. (I hope this doesn’t come off th e wrong way, my mom has been very sick most of the summer so I know how painful this can be).