Post # 1
i’m going to be 30 this year and i’m not even remotely close to wanting kids and i feel like i should be at this point.
i know i’ll be a great mom and i’m great with kids but i have a big fear of pregnancy and the hormonal part and the infancy stage…not really into babies. i dont go nuts over babies or anything. once in a while i’ll see a good looking little kid or baby and comment on it but that’s it.
so yea…i think it will pretty much come to the point where my husband will be bugging me to have babies but i don’t see myself bringing it up first at all lol and he’s 2 years younger than me.
anyone else similar? how did you know you wanted babies?
Post # 3
Ack, this is a tough one – it’s so different for everyone.
Heck, i’m 36, newly married and the thought of babies scares the crap out of me….
Enjoy newlywed-hood….when the time is right, the time is right…i know it’s cliche, but you’ll know. Or at least that’s what i keep telling myself 🙂
Post # 4
I don’t know if this will help at all but:
I don’t feel the urge to coo at babies. I don’t want to hold everyone elses’ kids. I can appreciate that they are cute but I don’t have urges to have one or be near them for extended periods of time. BUT I would like kids eventually. I feel I would make a great parent. So I asked my mom about it. She told me she didn’t feel like holding kids, cooing at babies, getting emotional about children till she had her own. She said she really just didn’t feel emotionally attached to a baby that wasn’t hers and couldn’t get worked up about them. But she could with her own children. Made me feel better. I thought that I was broken or maybe it was my brain hinting that I wasn’t meant to have kids. But it makes sense.
So I stopped worrying. I know deep down I would like kids. I want that family experience and I know I would do anything for my own child. I just don’t want to be around someone else’s. Cause for 1, it’s not my kid. 2, your child is a miracle only to you because it’s yours. If you had a puppy, I can appreciate it but I don’t want to be around it for 6 hours or take it home. I think people just react emotionally to different things in different ways.
Then again, if you truly don’t want to have children that’s fine as well. My friend is turning 30 this year and she decided long ago she didn’t want to be a mom. And there is nothing wrong with that. It’s not for everyone. She was very honest with herself and decided she like white furniture and chanel more than she loved babies.
Just my 2 cents 🙂
Post # 5
I go through phases. I am only 24, but Darling Husband and I started dating when I was 18 and got married last year. I definitely do NOT want a baby right now, but every once in a while I start thinking about how exciting it will be, etc. We are waiting until around 28-30 though. I just started my own business last year, and I barely have time to sleep, let alone raise a child.
Post # 6
When I was in my early 20s, everyone told me that 25 was the magic number. When I passed that “deadline”, everyone said that 30 would be it. When I hit 30, everyone said that 35 was the magical age. I’m 33 now, I still don’t want kids, and my husband recently had a vasectomy. If we end up wanting children down the road, we’ll just adopt. For some women, I think that clock just remains silent.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
Well, my mom is involved in bioethical work that has a lot of do with women’s reproductive health, so I kind of feel like my biological clock is ticking…..now! At 25! Ugh. That’s what happens when you hear about women’s reproductive stats all. the. time. But when I really stop to think about it, I feel really far away from kids. Fiance and I are thinking we’d start trying in about three years, but even that seems scarily close sometimes. We’ll see!
Post # 8
- Wedding: December 2013 - Home
A month before I turned 32, it started ticking loudly. Now, it’s at full scale, defcon 5. And before that, I 100 % did not want kids. Now I want a dozen. Sigh. I hate hormones.
Post # 9
I’m 22 and mine ticks now and again, which annoys me to no end. I think it’s because I know one girl who just had her second kid (and is 23) and two other women I know are pregnant. I seriously want to pull the batteries out of my biological clock, or maybe run it over with something. We’re planning to foster or adopt, but not until we’re at least 30 or so–we want to enjoy our 20s without having to worry about who’s going to watch the kid.
Post # 10
I’m 27 (almost 28) and I have no desire at all to have my own children. I love kids, especially our nieces and nephews. I love them like they are my own children. But, that doesn’t mean I want my own children. And people just cannot wrap their heads around it. How I can love them like that, but not want my own. But I don’t. Sometimes, I think about the fact that I will miss out seeing what my husband and I could create. But there is no way I am having children to see it. Its just not something that I want, and I doubt I will ever change, because my dream for our lives just does not include children
Post # 11
@redherring: Agreed. I don’t think the biological clock ticks for everyone. I’m still relatively young (25), but I knew a long time ago that I don’t want kids. If there is some magic age when the clock does start ticking (if such a clock even exists), I’ll know it’s just hormones messing with me, and to happily ignore all its urgings.
Everyone I know with kids either had ‘accidents’, or said they just ‘knew the time was right’.
Post # 12
Glad I’m not alone. I started thinking that if I wasn’t feeling kids by now, I probably never will and it was concerning me because my husband definitely wants them.
But maybe things will change. It’s probably because I know exactly what’s involved in raising a child and I know that I still have a lot to accomplish in life and some more growing up to do. I’m a late bloomer in literally everything in life…even my own birth lol (was almost a month late).
@claireos: lol @ “liking white furniture and Chanel more”. Yea, I kinda have that in me too. We’ll see I guess…
Post # 13
Mine went off loud and clear at 19 years old. I held off because I knew it wasn’t the right time for me, I had a lot I wanted to do still. It was 100% my body telling me to reproduce, I had no desire to be a mommy whatsoever. Now, at the age of 24, I am looking into permanent ways to make sure my clock never goes off again haha.
Post # 14
I’m 37, and my biological clock must have broken! I used to be open to wanting kids if the urge ever hit, but it never has…quite the opposite. I’m sure that I have no biological compulsion to have my own. I’d like to be a foster parent in another 10 years, maybe.
Post # 16
Rereading these has me thinking…Biological clock, IMO, isn’t just a biological drive to have a baby. It’s feeling panicked that you’re running out of time to get pregnant. Do you engaged/married bees in your early 20’s feel like you’re not going to be able to have babies if you don’t do it soon? Serious question…since I’ve never felt the urge to have kids, I can’t really relating to the running out of time feeling there, although I’ve felt that way with regards to other things in life.