When do you think you're "too old" to try for a baby?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 61
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If I had been married earlier, then I guess my ideal age because of abnormalities and fertility would be 35. However life did not present me with my husband til mid 30s and got married at 38. So now my new cutoff is conceive by age 44 at the latest and if not, be happy with what I have.

 I think you still have time to think things over and make the right decision for you.

Post # 63
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I personally don’t want kids, so for me it’s irrelevant. However, if I were planning on having kids I would have aimed to have them in my early to mid twenties. My mom had me in her late 30s, so obviously I know that’s possible. I just personally would have wanted to do the whole infant thing when it was easy to pull an all nighter, run after toddlers for hours, and then go to work. Also, the women I know who had their kids early seem to bounce back really quickly after pregnancy. 

Post # 64
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

Because of my own Heath issues I want to say I’m now in the too old category. I turned 30 in February, it’s not to say when can’t have children in their 30s and 40s but I know my body and I know what it went through the two times I was pregnant and how long it took to recover. It’s bitter pill to swallow because I did want more children but my body says otherwise.

Post # 65
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

TwinkleBoss :  I’m 35 (will turn 36 in October) and we’re trying for our first. In a perfect world, I would have liked to have my third now. But life had other plans. I’m not too concerned with my age as my OB GIN told me not to. So, for me the cutoff age for kids is 35-37 for baby no.1 and 40-42 for baby no.2. 

However, I really hope there will be a time when women will be allowed more time to conceive – we are expected to live longer than our grandparents and our kids will probably live up to 100. So it would be nice if the “conceiving time” for women could be extended too. 

 

 

Post # 66
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I feel somewhat in the same boat as you. I just turned 29 and Darling Husband will be 35 next week. There are times when i want to start TTC right away and then others where I feel like I could wait a little longer. 

My bigger concern is Darling Husband being 35 and still thinking we have all the time in the world. I don’t want him being the “older dad” and at this point I feel like he’s already there.  My mom was 38 when I was born and my dad 40 and I feel they were not that active with mg growing up. Again, that was probably more of their lifestyle but i want to be different for my kids.

Post # 67
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

I could of written this myself.

I’m 27 and so on the fence about having a child. I get overwhelmed easy and anxious. I’m terrified I won’t enjoy being a mother and regret it. On the flip side, I’m terrified of not having a child and missing what could possibly be the most amazing thing I do in my life. 

I figure if I’m still as unsure as I am now when I’m 32 then that’s it and it’s not meant to be for me.

Post # 68
Member
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to echo a lot of pps here and say that I would like to be done having children by the time I’m 40. I had my first when I was 32 and we are unsure if we’ll have more. My husband was 44 when he was born. At 34 now I feel like I would have been able to keep up with a child physically much better in my 20’s but I was nowhere near mentally ready for them at that point. 

When we decided to start trying I was extremely nervous. I knew I wanted at least one child at some point in my life so I didn’t want to wait longer but I DID NOT feel ready at all. I still can’t believe I have a 2 year old!!

for what it’s worth, I bounced back extremely quickly after my child at 32. I was back to pre pregnancy weight at 2 months postpartum. So don’t let that be a factor in your decision. 

Post # 69
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

lifeisbeeutiful :  here’s hoping you’re right. At 42 the doctors gave me a 5% chance of conceiving (based soley on age) and my fiance and I were going to wait till our wedding when I was 43 to try. We eneded up having me stop birth control pills two months before the wedding and would have been ecstatic had we conceived on our honeymoon.

A month before my 44th birthday three tests all said positive and I’m 18+3. My doctor gave us the term spontaneous pregnancy (as our child was naturally conceived) and has been wonderful. I’m not even his oldest patient, that would be a 46 year old who also had a spontaneous pregnancy years ago. 

Post # 70
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Nowadays, I’d probably say mid-40s. I wouldn’t want to wait that long, but PLENTY of women are having babies in their 40s now and its totally achievable.

Post # 71
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was pregnant and gave birth at 30/31. I’m actually a lot younger than most people in our social circle – most were 32 when they had their first child. Everyone worked first and was very career orientated. Lots of couples traveled (us included) before making the plunge.

We are one and done – so our daughter will be our only kid and that’s something we decided early on in our relationship. We were fence sitters as well.  

My mom had be at 38. Age is relative. It’s what you feel comfortable with. 

Post # 72
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

You’re not too old unless you are no longer capable of having kids which varies from person to person.Me personally?After I was 35, no way was I starting over to have more kids.I am 39 and do not want to go back to the baby stage because frankly, it was utterly exhausting.So for me, I’m too damn old for a toddler.

Post # 73
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’m definitely not ready to have a child yet (25 here). I’ll be the first to say it–I’m still a bit of a child myself. I see myself being ready for a child in my thirties. My mom had me at 33 and both parents were plenty active in my growing up. I also just started my career as a teacher two years ago and am not ready to complicate that just yet. I need to be completely financially and emotionally ready when we start trying 🙂

Post # 74
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee

For me personally, I think 35-36 would be the absolute latest I would try. I don’t have any bubs yet but I would also like some in quick succession if possible hehe xo

Post # 75
Member
4103 posts
Honey bee

I personally wouldn’t want a kid past 35, and even that’s a stretch 

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