When do you think you're "too old" to try for a baby?

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 76
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wanted to be done by 30 but I am now 30 and doing IVF for baby #2.  We really want 2-3 kids so I’m not sure what our timeline will be.

Post # 77
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

TwinkleBoss :  Personally, I think a woman is too old to start trying at 45.

Many women on the coasts don’t start trying until around their mid-30s these days, so you’ve got plenty of time.

Post # 78
Member
2517 posts
Sugar bee

I’m 26 and I’d personally like to be done having kids by 35 since statistically some risks increase after that (though they’re still fairly small). I’m unlikely to start trying to have kids until 28-29 at the earliest, and I’d like 2 ideally, so I hope to be having kids in my late twenties to early thirties. However, if I had difficulty conceiving of course I’d have to reevaluate my expectations on timelines. My mom had her last child at 37 (a surprise baby, so naturally and not even TTC), so I’d like to think I have time. In my area having kids before 30 is less the norm than after, and mid to late thirties is totally normal, but I’d prefer to have kids on the earlier side personally. That said, I don’t think there’s any cutoff except what you personally are comfortable with, and of course the biological ability to conceive. 

Post # 79
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with most others- you just need to chill out (mean that in a good way).  28 is really young and 28-35 is a NORMAL age to have babies (not old).  You still have a good 7-10 years to go for it.  Personally I think I would want to be done by 37-38 so if I had wanted 2 kids I would have wanted to start no later than 33-34.  But of course, who knows if I would have changed my mind had life worked out differently (met my partner later, etc). It’s hard for me to imagine wanting to try for kids after 40 (before my first I always felt I’d be okay with or withou them).  It’s also okay if you don’t want any!  I had my first at 29 (2 months before 30) and my second at 32.  Pretty sure I’m done but definitely won’t be having any after 35 at this point.

Post # 80
Member
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s such a personal question. For me, my cut off age for having kids is 35. I got married at nearly 30 and we started trying on the honeymoon! Haha. We’ve been blessed with 3 beautiful children and are open to maybe trying for one more right before I turn 35. But, I’m soooo tired and I love my family so much and am so happy with my little ones. It feels complete… and then I see tiny little newborns and then I’m like ‘oh my gosh! I want 5 more!’ Anyway, its different for everyone.

Post # 81
Member
15 posts
Newbee

SophBee :  It depends. Our friend is 45 and his mother is 94 y.o. She is very active and independant lady.

Post # 82
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think 45 is getting a bit old personally – only because of the fact you’d be 55 when they are 10. I want my life back and to be travelling the world by then haha! But I don’t think there is a wrong age – it does get harder the older you are though. I’m nearly 30 and have a 10m old. I think that’s a good age to have first baby 🙂 (biaised of course) 

Post # 83
Member
2412 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Peony007 :  I’m the same and only have 1 aha! I’m like gah I don’t want a newborn again , I love my sleep etc then see a new born and get all clucky 😂😂

Post # 84
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I am 42 and trying for my first.

Post # 85
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I’m 33 and we might start trying in a year. My career choices have made starting a family difficult and my husband is younger than me.

Somtimes I wish I already had a baby, but then when I see people struggling with their kids I just say to myself #winning…

Post # 86
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Personally I think the latest I’d want to try is about 35. But that’s just me. Also I’m only 26 at the moment, so maybe my opinion will change as I approach my mid thirties anyway! I’m like you, I’ve never yearned for children. Sure they’re cute, but I’ve never been set on being a mother. Fiancé really wants kids though and he’ll be such a good dad so we probably will one day!

Post # 87
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

For myself personally, I wouldn’t go past 35. 

A big part of that is because I had my son at 22 and I wouldn’t want that big of an age gap, and I only want 1 more and we will be trying probably a year after we get married so I will be well before the 35 age. 

I also want to have time when I am older/retired to be able to travel, live my life freely, and not have kiddos at home. By the time my kids are out of the house I will still have many years to travel and do things that I want to do without having them at home. 

 

Post # 88
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You’re only “too old” to start trying when you can no longer conceive a child.  However, I am guessing you mean old old in other ways as well. That is something only you can answer. As we see in this thread there are women in their 40’s here who are trying while other women “side-eye” anyone above the late 30’s who dares to start a family.

Post # 89
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

when youʻre pre-menopausal 🙂

Post # 90
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Medically after 35 there are additional risks, particularly for down syndrome, however the risk is still small, and many many women have very successful pregnancies even in there 40s.  It is just that doctors will likely take extra precautions.  My mom had my baby sister in the mid 90s at age 42.  Her pregnancy had no complications and my sister is perfectly healthy, but doctors were very concerned and adviced my mom to do extra testing.  That was also 20 years ago… now it is even more common to have kids later and more medical advancements.  I also know someone who tried to have her first kid at 38, and wasn’t able to get pregnant, and doctors said her age was to blame (was on track for early menopause).  Everyone is different.    

That being said… don’t have a kid just because you think you should.  Have them because you genuinely want them.  Maybe you will- a lot can change even in just a few years, but maybe you won’t.   Plus, if you decide to have kids and can’t have them you can always adopt.  

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