Post # 1
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
Hi all – poll here:
Do you delete your siblings ex when they break up? Future Brother-In-Law dated a girl the whole time Fiance and I are together which is 4 years. We’d hang out and were cool, but not the type that went traveling together. She would be there for family functions and we’d grab dinner here or there alone. They broke up a few months ago and I didn’t delete her, and she didn’t delete me.
Now he’s dating someone new, who we just spent the entire weekend with and she requested me. I am going to accept and see a future of being much closer with her (personality matching and all).
So now what do I do? Delete the other one for the sake of privacy, or stay friends with her because we were casual friends outside of their relationship.
Post # 2
Member
3229 posts
Sugar bee
bluebee19: Idk I never give FB/social media this much thought. I don’t think I’ve ever removed someone unless we had a serious blow out (for example, the only one I can think of is someone who stole 5 figures worth of money from me.) I would probably keep her unless Brother-In-Law specifically asked that you remove her.
Post # 3
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
carolinabelle: That’s what I’m thinking. I never have this much thought to deleting or not but keep my circle pretty small ( <200 people).
Post # 4
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
I would keep her, she has the option to delete you if she isn’t comfortable and honestly you’d be making a huge deal of it when it might not be to her.
Post # 5
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
bluebee19:
My DH and I are both still FB friends with his sister’s ex-boyfriend. He actually is engaged to someone now, and we’re both still friends with him online. The way I see it: they dated for over 2 years, we met him/hung out several times, and he experienced a lot of family events with us….several family weddings….our engagement…he would have been at our wedding too. I keep lots of scrapbooks and photo albums, and he’s even in them.
SIL and the ex had a slightly rough breakup., but I genuinely wished the dude well when he moved on!! He seemed to treat SIL nicely when they were together, he was a pretty understanding guy when it came to our family’s drama, and I think she broke up with him to make a point and thought he’d come crawling back.
Also, Mother-In-Law is still friends with him on FB and so are all of SIL’s friends. She has unfriended him, but I think that’s so she doesn’t have to see the constant engagement updates with the girl he dated less than 6 months. Eeek.
Post # 6
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
bluebee19: I keep my facebook pretty small as well, but I only delete people if there is a reason to (in this situation, if my Brother-In-Law asked me to or if I felt like he would be the type of person that would want me to without having to ask). My Future Brother-In-Law is still friends with one of my fiance’s ex’s on facebook – I only know because she came up as a suggested friend because we had Future Brother-In-Law and another couple of FI’s friends in common. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Post # 7
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
The only time I even delete people is when I don’t like what their posts are saying and it’s usually acquatances I don’t care about anyway. I’m pretty sure I still have all my sisters exs as friends unless they deleted me. And I think my sister is still fb friends with my ex (he deleted me but not any of my friends or family) becUse she told me something ridiculous he posted once. I’d leave it alone. If she starts posting things you don’t like then I’d delete her. But until then who cares.
Post # 8
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
I’m still friends with my ex Brother-In-Law, and he’s been divorced from my sister for several years. My parents and BFF are still friends with my ex (although I am not). It is really not a big deal either way.
Post # 9
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
Ya, I don’t find social media as big of a deal as some of my family members who might get insulted over random things on fb. I’ve been in this position a few times with my older brother. I just do what he asks. I still have an ex gf on there and not another ex gf and one ex gf got rid of me herself. He’s with some new gf I’ve never met that I’m not friends with on fb. I don’t think it’s a big deal. My brother asked me to remove the certain ex and I did it then.
Post # 10
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
I’m actually really surprised how many people don’t disconnect!
Post # 11
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
bluebee19:
When the relationship ceases to be positive, I move along both literally and figuratively.
Post # 12
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
I never delete people unless they (1) harrass me (2) harass other people – if they are annoying I hide them from my feed and if there are things I don’t want them to see I put them on the restricted list.
Saves hurt feelings.
Post # 13
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
I have two older brothers, and I am friends with almost all of their exes on FB (the serious ones at least). I figure if they are uncomfortable seeing pictures of my brothers and their new gfs/wives/children on FB, then they can delete me themselves.
Post # 14
Member
4093 posts
Honey bee
I’ve only deleted one ex, my BIL’s, and it was because she broke up with him and it was kinda shitty. I think I waited a couple weeks and then went for it. The only other ex I deleted actually happened before they broke up, because he was constantly posting hideous selfies like him shirtless and zoomed in on his nipple ring. NO THANKS. The one other ex that’s on my friends list I kept, because I knew him for 10 years while they were in a relationship and he was like a brother to me. So moral of the story is, it’s a case by case basis for me whether I delete and when I do it. I don’t think it’s a great idea to do it immediately just in case they get back together!
Post # 15
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor
My brother was engaged to a girl I had become very close with, and I was devastated when she broke it off with him- It wasn’t necessarily the fact that they broke up, but how she did it was very hurtful to me, I felt she put me in a bad position. I didn’t delete her on facebook because I cared about her and missed her friendship, but I did unfollow/hide her posts because it was very raw at the beginning and it was sad to see her posts going on as if nothing had changed. A year later we haven’t reconnected at all and I feel like it’s probably time to delete her, because there’s nothing to indicate we will ever be close again.