(Closed) When do/did you consider yourself "waiting"?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

2 stages, kind of:

1. When he sat me down and asked what kind of rings I like (out of the blue – it was at 2.5 years, and I honestly expected it to come a bit later, which I wouldn’t have minded). (April ’12)

and then

2. When I learned that the ring had been ordered 🙂 (June ’12)

Post # 4
464 posts
Helper bee

@valardohaeris:  Ive been with my SO for 7.5years. around the 3 year mark was when we started talking marraige, but we set a few goals to accomplish first.

1)Get back in school we were sick of warhouse dead end jobs

2) finish school and dont kill each other (we went back to school for the same degree)

3) move out of my moms house (this was accomplished twice because we had to move closer to work)

4) find our dream jobs

everything was checked off the list just about 2 years ago now. So I think I have been seriously waiting since then. But Im happy we set aside time in our lives to get our selves together.

Post # 5
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Well, it was after the talk for marriage went from someday to a general timeline. We starting talking more and more about when we could/would get married and he ended up buying a ring. For me, that’s when the waiting became serious. 

ETA: Oh and we have been dating for over 6 years now. This talking started around 5 years of dating

Post # 6
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I believe that you become a “waiter” once the topic of marriage and ring choice comes up more than once. If discussions about “who would you have in your wedding party” or “would you consider a DW”

I personally dont consider the length of relationship a determinate (if thats even a word) of a woman in waiting.

Post # 7
797 posts
Busy bee

@valardohaeris:  I think it is subjective to the couple. however, I consider waiting to be when you know a proposal is coming.

But like I said it’s subjective, I myself am only 20 and I know a proposal is coming, however, my SO and I have planned for me to be 24-25 when he formally proposes marriage. so even though I know it is coming, I am not per say, waiting but that is only because I am young. If I was 24 right now, then I would say I was waiting because I still know that its coming, however, its at least 4 years in the future. 

Post # 8
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

I’m not even sure I’m really waiting right now – certainly not by most people’s standards – which is just the biggest bummer.


I started daydreaming about him proposing at various times from about 5 months together? Obviously I wasn’t hoping for anything but I do enjoy a good fantasy ^^

Then when his sister was married I was just so insanely jealous. All I wanted was to know that he had even considered it. So then I started waiting for signs… I’m not quite sure what but I feel that something in my thinking changed around then. That was around 1yr and 5 months.

The next January I sat him down and asked if he had considered being engaged sometime after moved in (which I was working on achieving at the time) and he said yes. Somehow I concluded that that had to mean we’d be engaged between our 2nd anniversary in 3 months time and our 3rd anniversary. So that was around 1yr 9 months.

Our anniversary marked what I thought was the beginning potential time I could be proposed to and I moved in a month later, solidifying that idea. Somewhen between then and our 2yrs and 6 months I decided that if we weren’t engaged by our forth anniversary I will propose to him 🙂


So I kind of feel like I started waiting around the 1yr 5 months mark, but any of the following events might seem more legit to someone else, or none of them might, especially since around August BF told me that it would for definate not happen this year but thankfully said that next year was not out of the question a couple of weeks ago (now I’m definately waiting for 2014 to start haha). 

Post # 9
204 posts
Helper bee

Many articles online said that in order for your guy to propose, he wants to be 100% sure that you will say yes.  So when he started bringing up marriage and proposals quite a bit on his own, I officially considered myself to be “waiting” when I knew that HE knew I would definitely say “Yes”.

Post # 10
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We had a serious conversation about getting engaged/married and he asked me to send him pictures of rings in November of last year. It took him almost a year after that to propose, but the “wait” was definitely worth it (no matter how badly it sucked at times)!

Post # 11
1626 posts
Bumble bee

@MaidMarian:  OMG Hi!  Nice to see you back on the boards Smile

View original reply
@valardohaeris:  I made my intentions to get married the first day we met!  HA!  I was all ‘Don’t waste my time, I’m dating to marry!!’  LOL!

Seriously though, I suppose I was really waiting officially January of this year.  Last December, we thought SO was going to graduate and get a job in April…then he was delayed, and we thought it would happen over the summer…then this Dec…and now we aer *hoping* April of 14.  We shall see about that lol. 

I say I am a waiting bee and taking it very seriously because we are planning our wedding, saving up for it….it’s just a matter of time!

Post # 12
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No I don’t consider myself to have ever been ‘waiting.’ To me, ‘waiting’ is when you’re actively thinking about if/when your BF is going to propose. I knew it would happen one day (we were together 10 years when he proposed) but its not something I really thought about, stressed over or got anxious about. He didn’t ask my opinion about rings or anything so it was a complete surprise.

Post # 13
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

There was no waiting in our relationship.  We had talked about marriage and one day I said, “Well I think we really need to get married.  Do you agree?”  We got married 3 months later.  End of story and start of life together.  🙂  I don’t even know the purpose of “waiting”.  What are you waiting on?  The choice to get married should be made as a collective process by both people.  Whay sit around waiting for someone to ask you?  You might wait forever…

Post # 14
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Around our 6th Date-iversary we updated our Life Plans… I told Mr TTR that I was now ready to get married again, and would like to do so before the end of 2012

He agreed to my timeline… and said he’d propose when he was ready… lol, just like a guy

From then on I considered myself waiting… and I waited close to 5 months until we were on our Easter Vacation when he asked me in Myrtle Beach sans-ring.  Total surprise, and so him…

When he did get around to asking he was a typical man head over heels in love… he had a plan.  We spent the rest of the day exchanging REAL Wedding Day plans / visions… not just the “if we get married” kind.  It was awesome.


Post # 15
764 posts
Busy bee

@valardohaeris:  I had a few stages also. We’ve been dating since teenagers (8 years) and I’d say it went like this:

1) I generally always knew I loved him and would marry him someday but marriage was mostly hypothetical until:

2)…the 7 year [and 4 months hehe] I had graduated from uni and had a career job for almost a year and started to think seriously about the fact that I’d like to get married in the next couple years and had serious discussions with my SO (who was still in uni at the time). – I considered myself waiting at this point, even though I knew it probably wouldn’t happen until he graduated.

So I joined this site and it has kept me sane while knowing it wouldn’t happen soon.

3) He’s been dropping hints like crazy the last couple months including asking what rings I like, my size, creatively prodding for reassurance that I’d want to move with him and that I’d say yes if he proposed, and accidently mentioning he was calling my dad “about stuff” which he has never called my dad btw.

So now I consider myself “actively waiting” lol. I wouldn’t apply these labels to any one else’s relationship because I think it’s a personal feeling so along the way I have felt more of a waiting bee than other times.

Post # 16
133 posts
Blushing bee

I consider myself in waiting because: a ring has been picked, he talks about our future frequently like its a fact

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