- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 2015
@aggie2010: Quick turnaround! Lucky you 🙂
@aggie2010: Quick turnaround! Lucky you 🙂
After he told me that we’d be engaged by March 2014!
Without that certainty, I think “waiting” would have killed me slowly.
@GonnaBeMrsB: Interesting! I should probably pipe down more on the proposal/marriage talk and see if he’ll bring it up. Easier said than done 🙂
@This Time Round: I love that! I think it’s important to wait until you’re both fully ready before getting engaged. I’m trying not to badger him about it, but it’s so hard not to bring it up sometimes!
@busybee3791: I’m in a similar boat- he crossed the financial hurdle, we’ve looked at rings more seriously instead of just trying them on for fun, and I know he’s been setting aside money for a ring!
We went to 2 weddings this year and I’ve found that other people’s weddings can be quite the catalyst for moving things forward. And I so agree that guy time is very different than girl time. The other day, my BF used the word “soon” to describe us getting engaged. I said, “You and I must have very different ideas of the word ‘soon’, because July is definitely not ‘soon’!”
@musician32992: I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t think it’s stupid, though. I can see where you’re coming from and we can’t always control our feelings. I never thought I’d get upset over other people getting engaged before me, but unfortunately, it’s happened.
@valardohaeris: It’s just so hard to work with these gorgeous, happy, wealthy engaged women and help them create the wedding of their dreams, when I’m just sitting there sad and hoping for a proposal that will likely never happen. You would think that I’d be able to live vicariously through them and be excited but I see them get everything that I want and it tears me apart.
@valardohaeris: I don’t regret it at all. I guess we have a specific reason though; I will probably have to move to another city next year and making that decision together about where to move is more comfortable for us if we are engaged. I have no idea how and when it will happen, so there’s still an element of surprise, yet I feel comfort knowing that the “wait” will be over by then at the latest. Total surprise is not something that’s important to us, so different things work for different people! Fingers crossed you’ll be engaged by July 🙂
@valardohaeris: Well…I have a good attitude NOW! LOL. Honestly, I did NOT have a good attitude for a long time about it. I was depressed, angry, resentful, bitter just ugh!
I can see that I wasted a good 6 months of my life worrying about things that were out of my control. And I learned to turn it around…hopefully my story can help other waiting bees from missing out on moments of their life like I did.
@valardohaeris: I remember clearly the day I realized that my now FH was the one. I also remember telling his mom later that summer that I was done, he was it for me. That was 7 years ago. I considered myself waiting from about 18 months/2 years on. We were 21/22 when we started dating, my 30th birthday was our engagement. I fully admit I wasn’t the most patient waiting bee but there were a lot of factors that contributed to me having to wait – including my decision to go back to school
We’re coming up on our 1 year anniversary (of dating) in about two weeks, and there’re a few years to go I would bet before we’ll be engaged, because I’m hoping to teach in Japan for a year or two after I graduate next winter, and a few other factors. But only two or three weeks after he met I was visiting my family for the holidays and he called me and said that he didn’t know if it was weird or creepy or whatever to say this so early, but he was pretty sure I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and was that okay? And I felt the same way, so of course I said it was.
Nearly a year later, he’s brought up marriage a number of times, and even brought up engagement rings once. We talk about our future kids like they’re a given fact. He asks me all the time if I’m serious that I’ll really marry him, just to hear me say yes.
Now, I know engagement is not happening this year, and probably not next year, because I’m not financially independent and we’re just not ready. But I DO know that this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, and so I consider myself waiting–though patiently.*
*That is, I call myself patient because I know neither of us are ready, but I’m clearly impatient enough to join WeddingBee and read Offbeat Bride and buy Martha Stewart Weddings and keep wedding planning notes. So, I’m patient enough where my man’s concerned–just not with the calendar.
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