(Closed) When does it become inappropriate for a brother & sister to share a room?

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 17
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe they can’t afford it? Simply adding a bedroom isn’t the cheapest thing in the world…but to answer your question I think 10 is a good cut off age…although I know a 4 yr old and 11 yr old(both boys) who share a room and the 4 yr old was already asking questions.

What makes you raise eyebrows at them sharing a room? Is it that you just think they need their own space because they are different sexes? Or do you really think something weird is going on between them?

Post # 18
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have 2 boys who are 7 and 5 they share a room.  I shared a rm with my bro until I was 4 he was 2.  we then moved to a bigger house.  I shared a rm with my little sister who is 7 years younger until I was 16 and absolutley hated it.  My FH shared a rm with his bro until he was 23 and his bro was 26 wierd eh.

Post # 21
Member
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well, there’s also the living room. I know a couple that in order to keep their kids in a certain school system, one of their kids (the daughter actually) slept in the living room. They are no longer in that situation, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

ETA – just realized my post made no sense. I meant that they were only able to afford a 2 bedroom apt in that particular city to keep their kids in that school system.

Post # 22
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that maybe around 8-10, depending on the kids (and assuming the parents take the time to know their kids’ needs) would be a good age to stop. However, my ex, who is now 22, still shares a room with his 19 year old sister and they always have. I thought it was sort of weird when I was with him but it really is a money issue. He and his sister are really close, good friends (not in a creepy way or anything haha) and it doesn’t bother them… so while I would never do it, I don’t think it has to have negative effects either.

Post # 23
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would say between 6 and 8. Never if it’s doable.

Post # 24
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would say 8, or when they start asking questions about the differences between boys and girls. I know that the foster system here has an age limit of when you can have boys and girls sharing a bedroom, but I can’t remember what the number is. I believe it is around 7 or 8.

Post # 25
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would say 8 is the cut off and even that would be pushing it.

Post # 26
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My spitfire answer to things like this is: If you have to ask (if it’s inappropriate) then you already know (that it probably has already reached that point).

But to really answer … I personally think that around 7-8 is a good age to split the living quarters for different gender siblings. If they don’t have another bedroom available and can’t afford renovations, at least some sort of barrier wall in the room, or something!

Post # 27
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think if you can the kids should be separate as soon as possible. I wouldn’t want my son and daughter sharing a room and would do just about whatever it took to give them their own spaces, including setting up my husband and myself in the cellar or living room. At age 3 or 4 you really start focusing on privacy, shutting the door when you use the bathroom etc. I think boys and girls sharing rooms contradict what you are teaching them about modesty at any age. I know some people can’t help it but this couple OP mentioned doesn’t seem to care, which makes it unsettling because if they don’t know kids need privacy, what other needs are they not meeting?

Post # 28
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it depends on the kids but ultimately isn’t a big deal at any age. It’s only in America that we have this every child needs their own room entitlement and it wouldn’t kill the kids to share. If parents don’t have the money, space or inclination to give kids separate rooms,  kids are more than capable of learning to respect each other’s space and privacy so they can share a room till they leave the house.

Post # 29
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

u know in some countries parents, siblings share a one bedroom house. I am not trying to come across mean but sometimes I think we over think stuff. My brother and I shared a room until he was 9 and I was 16 and we know about respect and privacy. My parents had many misfortunes and couldnt afford to get a bigger house. No, we did not become secret lovers.

Post # 30
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t plan to ever have my (hopefully eventual) boys and girls room together.  Same sex roommates are fine, but opposite sexed children sharing rooms just isn’t for me, I guess.

Post # 31
Member
2521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m not all that bothered by it.  I wouldn’t purposefully plan for something like that.  It’s entirely possible that they spend most of their time in the living areas and only really spend time in their rooms when they sleep?

 

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