(Closed) When does it start to feel real?

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: When does the surreal feeling going away?!?

    Felt real right away!

    After the first trimester!

    After finding out the gender!

    After the second trimester!


    Other - explain below!

  • Post # 3
    5669 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    For me it wasn’t until we found out the gender and starting shopping for our little girl. I sort of felt unattached until I knew what our LO was and started buying outfits and picking out names.

    Post # 4
    1486 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Yeah, for me too.  I really struggled getting attached for a long time with my daughter, first because it didn’t feel real, and then, because I was afraid something bad would happen.  After we found out the gender, and I started referring to her by her name, the attachment just happened.  But I was more than halfway through before I accepted that this pregnancy was going to equal a live baby.

    Now, at 15w3d with my 2nd, I’m working on it.  I’m nowhere near as neurotic about it all.  With my daughter, I had a SUPER STRONG FEELING that it was a girl, but with this one, there’s nothing.  Not a thing.  So I think, after I find out who is in there, I’ll start to feel attached.  At least, I hope so!

    Post # 6
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It felt real as soon as  heard my babys heartbeat. What a wonderful feeling! 🙂

    Post # 8
    1695 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    View original reply
    @morkiemama:  It really doesn’t feel real for me yet either.  I’m 18w.  I keep thinking that if I start to feel the baby move that I will feel more connected.  Or when we find out what we’re having and pick a name…?  I don’t know, but I’m with you! 

    Post # 9
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    View original reply
    @Quietserenity:  I don’t think I felt super bonded with DS until he actually came out.  I was just too busy the second time around!

    With my first, it felt a lot more real after the 20 week ultrasound and then when I could feel her movements (22-ish weeks).  So about the middle to end of the 2nd trimester.

    Post # 10
    152 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    When it started feeling real, and when I started feeling attached were to seperate experiences for me! I started feeling more attached to her when I knew her sex, and I could feel her moving around (happened around the same time).

    But honestly, the idea of having a baby always felt a bit surreal when I was pregnant! It was just really hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea that I was creating an actual little human inside me! And that I was going to give birth to and be responsible for this wee person. I was excited and nervous about it, and we were very prepared for her arrival, but until I had her in my arms, it just felt so surreal!

    And even after she was born, that first night when I held her and stared at her in awe, it still felt a bit surreal. I was unbelievably happy (thank you birth hormones) and head over heels in love with her, but kept thinking “wow, we made this little baby, and she’s really here”!  Heh.

    And of course now I can’t imagine my life without her, and having a child and being a mom is a very real thing, but every once in a while, I look at her and think “wow, we made her”!!!

    Post # 11
    526 posts
    Busy bee

    LOL! I am 31 weeks and it still doesnt feel real! His closet is starting to become stocked with goodies and his nursery furniture should be here by thursday! I always tell my Fiance “Were having a baby! I cant believe it!!” And he always laughs and tells me I better start believing it soon because in 2 months he will be here! Its crazy! 

    Post # 12
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I was wondering the same thing! I keep thinking something bad will happen to baby, or to me even. I just don’t see it yet. I can’t imagine having my precious little girl in my arms and one day her calling me mommy. My sister just had her baby last month and even that seems unreal. I think it’s because it’s something I’ve wanted for a really long time.


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