There is so much misinformation out there including the “broken or torn hymen”.
1. No one really knows why female babies are born with hymens. All we know is that they are. At birth, the doughnut-shaped membrane is prominent and thick, but that changes pretty rapidly. Judy Blume: Crucial Sex Education For Young Girls
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2. Hymenal tissue is usually worn away by adolescence. During the early years, the membrane thins and widens as a result of athletics, self-exploration, cleansing and even activity as simple as walking. A little of the tissue may remain around the vaginal opening, but that’s usually it. Which means…
3. The pain experienced by many women during their first time is not because the hymen is breaking. That urban legend you’ve most likely heard about? It was actually a big ol’ myth. Most of the membrane is already worn away when a woman finally has intercourse, and plays little to no role discomfort. Many gals believe their initial sexual experience is going to be unpleasant, because that is what they’ve been told, so it is. It makes sense when you think about it. When we think something will hurt, we feel anxious and tense which ultimately gives way to pain. So… What My First Time Taught Me About Sex
4. Those “bloody sheets” are not because the hymen is tearing, either. Most young partners are not experienced love-makers. Those first times are usually less skilled and sensual, and more trial and error. Hurried, poorly-lubricated or rough sex can cause sensitive vaginal tissue to bleed, but not hymenal tissue to break. The Smoking-Hot Reason To Avoid First-Date Sex
5. The intact hymenal membrane does not cover the whole vaginal opening. If it did, girls who still had bits of the hymen left at puberty would not be able to menstruate.
6. About one in 200 women have an imperforate hymen. That means around 0.5% of hymens don’t wear away normally and have openings too small for tampons or erections to comfortably enter the vagina. These days, in those cases, a fairly simple surgery is required to snip away some of the membrane. Hooray for modern medicine, right?
7. Throughout time, people have gone to great lengths to find proof that the hymen was indeed broken after marriage. In old cultures, newlyweds were expected to hand over bloody sheets after the wedding night to 1. confirm that the hymen had ripped, 2. make sure the woman was a virgin and 3. check that the two had consummated the union. A little nosy, don’t you think? Many brides didn’t even risk it, they would simply cut the inside of their thighs with a sharp fingernail to soil the sheets—just in case.
If both of you were virgins, you both need to take some time and earn how to arouse or “turn on”each other. It is only when you are sufficiently sexually aroused that your body will produce enough natural lubricant, so that intercourse is not uncomfortable. As a pp has said, some artificial lubrciants can be irritants in themselves.
Why not take a short break from intercourse and learn how to arouse each other exploring your partners body with your hands, lips, tongue etc. It will be worth it to learn what turns your partner on.