When does the waiting period start?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
5081 posts
Bee Keeper

I guess it depends on your philosophy.  I think this whole “officially waiting” thing for the most part is a load of bunk.  Committing to each other should be an ongoing conversation you are on the same page about.  The rest of it is just called living your life.

Post # 3
5019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

DH and I had been in agreement that after two years of dating it would be a good time to take the next step.  About that time he started to make preparations to purchase my ering and at that point I felt I was “waiting”.

Post # 4
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

The minute you choose him as your life partner and decide to wait rather than propose yourself. 

Post # 5
1737 posts
Bumble bee

For me it started when we began having the conversations about marriage and that yes we both saw it in our future, we were 100% both on board, and the talk went from not if we get married, but when we get married. We talked laid out what had to happen when, what did we want to have done before we got married. For us a big part is we’re waiting on a house to be built and finsihed. So I view my waiting period as the time between when we said yes marriage is 100% our future and this is our time line up until the ring goes on my hand, and we’re engaged. 

I don’t consider myself as waiting when we were talking about the future and just gently batting the idea around casually, as I figured out whether I could get married again, whether I could trust that much again.

Post # 6
2653 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I considered myself “waiting” when DH told me he was going to propose soon. Five months later, which was ten months into our relationship, he proposed.

Post # 7
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020 - Finger Lakes, NY

I considered myself to be casually, somewhat unofficially waiting in early October after bringing up the topic with him. It wasn’t the best conversation we’ve ever had, we both said a couple things we shouldn’t have, but we kept the argument from blowing up and agreed that no timeline would be set, but we would have our final personal goals to achieve. It was largely him buying time to determine whether or not he was ready for this step.

January 6 was when I accidentally heard him talking to my dad about asking me (he knows I’ve always wanted it to be as much of a surprise as possible) and realized I had officially hit the waiting period. Time is moving sloooow.

I know some disagree with the whole concept of waiting, but we had discussions long ago that we’d be dating for as long as five years, probably, before anything further happened. He also knows how I feel about huge surprises like this (love them) and that I’m not waiting around terribly long after about 5.5 years despite my complete lack of desire to leave this relationship. He also has no desire to lose me and as far as I can tell has begun taking steps he’s long considered his responsibility toward the future we agreed upon less than two years into our relationship.

I’m also one of those people who is finding this waiting period to be kind of fun, lol.

Post # 8
976 posts
Busy bee

When you talk to him and both decide that you not only want to marry each other, but you have a specific timeframe in mind and are taking actions to make it happen, that’s when I consider someone “waiting.”

Post # 9
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I think officially wait for me was when we both sat down and had that first serious talk about where our relationship was. After we both decided that we both wanted to take the next step, we begin to look at rings and then visit jewelry stores. I felt at that point that I was officially waiting.

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